User blog:Explorer 767/BoF Log 1: Dawn of the Living Pies

The pies attacked.

SQUISH!

"AAAAUGH! GET 'EM OFF ME!"

They clustered onto the creature, smothering his feathers with O'Berry filling and beige whipping cream.

"OH, GOODNESS SAKES, NOT THE FLIPPIN' FILLING! THAT'LL NEVER COME OFF!"

As the tern tried to escape his creamy, edible prison, the pies relentlessly squashed him further like a trash compactor.

"MMMFFFF FFFMMFFMM MMMMMM!"

That's when it happened... the pies began to buzz.

The sun inched over the horizon. Light spilled over and flooded the icy land. It was the dawn of a bright, new spring day.

High above Ternville, inside the Mayor's Mansion, Mayor McFlapp snoozed peacefully in his bed... well, sort of. His wings and legs were up, as if straining against some invisible force.

The alarm clock rang.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

McFlapp stirred a little, then turned over in his sleep, tangling the sheets as he wriggled around like a puffle rolling in a pool of Puffle-Os.

Slowly, however, the pies' buzzing began to resemble... police sirens?

"What is this bloomin' madness, wot?" said the tern. "Wailing, tern-eating pies! What's this plot come to, eh?"

The pies began wiggling... then they broke formation and began to waltz across the nightclub floor. One of them took the tern's left wing and the pair tangoed like there was no tomorrow.

The alarm clock continued to ring as the air conditioning turned on, blasting cold air into the bedroom. McFlapp stood on his bed, dancing with an invisible partner. He was nearing the edge now...

Without warning, the nightclub floor tilted. It began to lurch from side to side, and within a split second it had frozen over into frigid ice. All the pies stacked on top of each other and began singing We are the World, except with a lot of buzzing and beeping. The tern and his partner skated gracefully over the icy rink.

McFlapp fell off the plush mattress. At the same time, the mansion's final wake-up call initiated, dumping gallons of icy water onto the expensive bedsheets.

Suddenly, the entire room flipped upside-down. The ice rink began to crack. The pies all fell onto the ceiling and began to roll around, singing as they did so.

"Trolololo lololololo!"

CRACK!

A huge crevasse appeared, running right through the middle of the ice rink. Then, from out of the crevasse, came a huge, raging, foaming ocean. It spilled from the ceiling and swept away the tern and all the pies, which were still singing. The current dunked the tern's head under.

"MUST... STAY ALIVE, WOT! glug glug glug..."

"...glug glug glug..."

McFlapp slowly opened his eyes, awakened from his bizarre nightmare. He was now in his bedroom, standing on the damp floor. He looked back at his bed, which was now thoroughly soaked.

"Oh... guess I was dozin' off, then, eh. No matter, I'll get Becky to dry this up."

The mayor straightened his doused nightshirt and strolled out of the room, ready to start his day fresh.

TO BE CONTINUED!