Canren

Canren (full name, Canren Prensus Sermunculi) is a psychotic penguin who was placed in charge of chick-sitting Midas and Herb while their parents were out doing their jobs. Her single goal in life is to catch the two penguins she is repsonsible of caring for building, quote, "insane and evil contraptions", leading to her earning a claim to fame on Tri-State Lane as the ultimate Tattler.

Background
Canren, like the rest of her family had this, shall we say, problem with an attempt to catch a fellow creature in the act of wrongdoing. Since family records were kept, WAY back in Olde Antarctica, historians have discovered years of records of Canren's ancestors tattling on others. In Colonial Antarctica, for instance, one of Canren's ancestors waddled through the streets screaming about the king's tyrannical practices: "TOOWWNN, THE KING IS USING YOUR TAX MONEY TO MAKE A TITLE SEQUENCE!". Naturally, no one wanted the monarch to waste money on promotional art. The Sermunculi family can easily be attributed to stirring revolution.

Canren herself has been a tattler her whole life. She snitched on classmates, teachers, law enforcement, any wrongdoing she spied. When she was mysteriously employeed as the chick-sitter for Midas and Herb, she was in for the shock of her life, after discovering their habits of building outrageous items and contraptions.

She has Miss Aurumen (Midas' mother) on speed dial, and she routinely calls her about once a day (minimum) for her children's antics. By the time she rushes home, however, the item is gone, and poor Canren is rendered crazy. However, Miss Aurumen seems to care for the twisted girl, because she always comes when called, despite the fact she's a professional jeweller.

Miss Aurumen has yet to see any of Midas and Herb's items, with the exception of Midas' gold, which she always assumes is hers just lying around in the name of his obbsession.

Canren attempts to catch them day by day, relentlessly. Make note, though, that Midas and Herb are none the wiser.

Canren is very fond of Franky the Squealer, a penguin she met on the job.

Parental History
Canren's parents were also notorious tattlers. Both of them spied on their coworkers in their places of employment. Her mother was a cubicle-office worker, her father was also a cubicle-office worker.

Each one would continously peak over their cubicle and witness their fellow employees doing unthinkable things, ranging from eating Judgies to unproductive game-playing and even, dare I say it, littering!

At the sight of the wrongdoing, the parents would make [[Media:Canren Laugh.ogg|this weird laugh]] (the whole family does it) and call their boss with the issue (he's on speeed-dial).

For fifteen years straight, Miss and Mister Sermunculi had to jump from one office job to another, endlessly fired from any position of their respective comapnies. Each time, they were laid off for the same reason: "they couldn't shut up!".

One must understand why they did so! Is it not harsh to fire an otherwise productive employee? No, not if you ask anyone who has ever hired Canren's Parents! The boss had to deal with the Sermunculi family's tattling, day in and day out: "BBOOOSSSS, {employee name} is/are {wrongdoing}!".

The finally landed a job in the PSA as spies.

Involvement
Canren, like her ancestors, routinely spies/stalks Midas and Herb, and because she is in charge of caring for them, their parents don't press charges.

She has witnessed most of their inventions (minus the keesh cannons of The Great Darktonian Pie War), and has called Miss Aurumen for every last one.

Professor Shroomsky took note of her obbsession and hired her for the newly created Antarctic Investigation Authority. She currently serves as a major spy for the group, and like her parents, makes for an excellent espionage master.

Canren is deeply in love with Franky the Squealer, an ex-gangster on the run, who has such a similar passion for tattling. She also made fast friends with an equally psychotic little fellow named Sye, a near-blind, routinely bullied penguin who swears that one of his classmates is an alien. Since both Sye and Canren always lose their evidence right before they can prove themselves, they became fast friends because of how much they relate to each other.

Trivia

 * Canren's family surname, Sermunculi, is Latin for "tattle".
 * Canren actually has a criminal record: "twenty seven instances of nonviolent, voluntary stalking". The number has stopped growing since Canren now stalks and spies for the government or Midas and Herb.
 * Both of her parents are PSA spies. Canren herself is a spy for the AIA.
 * Mayor McFlapp has commented on Canren, stating that "she would make a very jolly well good Director, with her confounded snoopin' around on people all the bally time, wot wot!"
 * Mayor McFlapp was then reminded by his secretary that he tends to snoop a lot on others, too.
 * Willy the Penguin thinks she is just utterly annoying.
 * She is a parody of Candace Flynn from Phineas and Ferb.