Quest for the Golden Waffle/Archived Inclusions

Okay, you know the drill. This is where people can post bits of the story before they've happened. --Sir Kwiksilver of TARDIS- Someone set us up the bomb. 10:29, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Chapter 7: The Cake Is A Lie
 Gary's Family Mansion, Blizzardville, South Pole City, USA''' 4:44 PM, November 28 Gary and Kwiksilver walked up to the door of the giant, ruined mansion. Kwiksilver was scribbling on a notepad, writing an interview.

"So this is your family mansion, G?" asked Kwiksilver.

"Yes, it belonged to my ancestor, Ølly, in the days of Khanzem. After Club Penguin was discovered, my family packed up and moved out. It hasn't been cleaned lately."

"Yes, I can see," said Kwiksilver, looking at the trashed and vandalised house. G pulled a heavy iron key from his inventory and unlocked the door. They both walked inside.

Kwiksilver and G walked up a hallway. They stopped, looking at portraits and G explaining who was in them. Kwiksilver yawned and leaned against a giant suit of armour. It clattered to the floor, revealing a big red button.

"Oh noes!" cried G, "The vintage armour!"

"Relax, G. What's this red button doing here?"

"I have no idea," said G, "It looks old. I wonder..." His voice trailed away as he pressed the red button.

WHIIIIIRRRRRRR

The piece of wall swung around, and Kwiksilver and G disappeared.

To be continued...

Behold The Weegee Board!!!
"I need to see an inventor," said Explorer, after Erasmus had stopped laughing.

"Why don't you see Ølly?"

Explorer agreed and took out his map. Unfortunately, the map showed USA places, not Khanzem places. Explorer would have to choose a location based on historical data.

He hit the button that would take him to South Pole City in 2009. Since G's family mansion was nearby, and considering the Flight Brothers lived there too, Ølly would probably be where his family lived.

Erasmus saw Explorer pull out the map and teleport. Just before he teleported, Erasmus noticed Explorer left his bar of gold behind.

"Hey, Explorer! You forgot your--"

Explorer teleported.

"...gold."

He was correct! Appearing at what would become the small suburb of Blizzardville, Explorer took out a compass, found north, and walked in that direction. After about fifteen minutes, he spied a stone shack with straw thatching, and in the far distance, what looked like a little bike shop.

Explorer nervously knocked on the ornate wooden doors of Ølly's lair.

An old penguin came to call. He looked like he belonged in an RPG Game. His scarlet robe coincided with the black undercoat, and coupled with the monacle and mustache, he was qute a site to behold.

Explorer, struggling not to ask if he was late for a "Stellar Travel convention" or the Medieval party, walked in.

Once inside, he saw such strange sights. There was a telescope in one corner, vials and flasks and such of all sorts of colored potions, and an odd item sitting on a pedestal in the center.

"Χαιρετισμούς, φίλε. Είμαι Ølly, και πιθανότατα γνωρίζουν τι ψάχνετε."

[translate.google.com Ølly spoke Geek. Just his luck.] Fortunately, Explorer had a handy English to Geek dictionary.

"I'm looking for a way to go Back to the Future."

"Η απάντηση είναι σαράντα δύο." was Ølly's response. He said "The answer is forty two."

Explorer slapped his flipper against his face and turned to the author.

"DID YOU DO ALL OF THIS TO START QUOTING INTERNET PHENOMONON? DO YOU ALSO KNOW THAT YOU REFERENCED THAT ONE INCORRECTLY?!"

Explorer turned back to Olly, who was now working on a seismograph.

"Ølly, I have to get back to 2009 and save the world from Seargent Str00del!"

Ølly froze and turned around.

"Didst thou just say... Seargent Str00del?"

"Yes."

Ølly stepped back.

"Ah, the position of the planet Pluto did forsee a penguin like thee seeking the information you just requested... though, it may have been the orbit of Uranus."

Explorer tried hard not laugh after he said "Uranus".

"You're an astrologer too?"

"Aye. Now, I don't really comprehend if I can send thee back to ye own era. Let me check-eth the Book of COC-Abiding Spells."

Ølly proceeded to a towering bookself.

"I have found what I seek!"

Ølly pulled out what looked like a Chinese-Checkers board. It was glowing, and had green "L" written on it. On it was a very disturbing picture of a surprisingly familiar figure. The black text read "Αυτή είναι μια διαδικτυακή φαινόμενο.", or "this is an online phenomenon".

"Um... why is that a picture of Luigi engraved on a Chinese Checkers Board?"

"Clearly thou dost not understand the power of this item! This is a Weegee Board."

"Don't you mean Ouija Board, and isn't that COC illegal?"

"Nay!" Ølly shouted. "I meaneth what I speak. Weegee board."

"Weegee Board?"

"Aye! Didst I stutter?"

"What can it do?"

Ølly handed Explorer a scroll.

"If you need assistance in a hotel, please view the enclosed instruction book." was its text.

Explorer was annoyed and received another scroll from Ølly.


 * Weegee Board. A Weegee Board is a very dangerous item. Folklore states that staring into the eyes of the creature in its center results in loss of identity, temporary submission to Weegie's evil demands (namely, destroying Mario), and in severe cases, it can be permanent. It is not recommended to stare a Weegee down. If counter-staring occurs, the victim may become a Weegee statue. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Explorer, not wanting to risk being at the mercy of an Internet Phenomonon, stood in the center of a {insert nerdy shape here} that Ølly drew in the dirt floor.

"Okay. Thou must stand as still as possible whilst I turn on yonder lamps." Ølly nodded and placed {number of vertexes in shape} flashlights at the vertexes of the shape. He turned them on and began.

Holding up the Weegie Board high above his hands, he started doing the Cabbage Patch dance with it. After turning a backflip, he shouted:

""

"Wait, you just said "That's Mama Lui-"

TTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Explorer vanished, and in his place stood a stone statue of a Weegee.

"Hmm.. I did not forsee this," hmmed Ølly, "Explorer hath become a Weegee Statue! I must findeth a way to reverse it."

He never did, and the statue stood there for the rest of the century.

The Destroyers of Fax Machines, Past, Present and Future
I'm planning on writing a bit where Icmer in Nyc's final descendant teleports Explorer and the gang to the distant future to confront them and avenge the destroying of his family's appliances. It will be very funny, very random and very, very Icmer.--Sir Kwiksilver of TARDIS- Someone set us up the bomb. 10:29, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

The Troublesome Trio and Fred materialized in a dark room.

"Hey, who turned out the lights?" cried Barkjon.

Explorer flipped a switch on the wall. The light revealed a dingy ballroom. The paint was peeling off the walls, ancient furniture was covered in cobwebs. It was a mess.

A loud voice sounded, making everybody jump.

"Finally. Finally," it said.

Fred looked around for the voice, then shouted, "Who are you?"

"You may remember the fax machine."

A giant hologram fax machine appeared next to Happyface.

"You destroyed it, Explorer. With the paper cup."

A projection lit up on the walls. It showed Explorer throwing away a smoothie cup, which broke through the walls of the rubbish chute, catching a knife that cut a string holding a giant calculator, which in turn, destroyed the fax machine.

"Or maybe I should go further back," the voice boomed, "To the typewriter."

A giant typewriter appeared. The projection cut to Explorer slipping on a rolling pin, which destroyed the typewriter.

"You also destroyed it, Explorer."

"Or maybe I should go a bit more recent. To the CyberType."

A keyless keyboard appeared, then was destroyed by a plastic water bottle.

"Happyface, you did that."

"Every appliance my family received," boomed the voice, becoming a bit emotional, "You people destroyed it! You are the destroyers of fax machines, past, present and future!"

"My family was at first not sure it was you, but we found out. We found out, all right. I am the last of my family. I vowed to get vengeance on you people. And I shall..."

Spotlights suddenly lit up, and focused on the owner of the voice. It was a penguin, wearing tattered clothes. He looked remarkably like Icmer In Nyc.

"Icmer?" said Explorer, "What are you doing here?"

"I am not Icmer in Nyc. I am the Last Icmer! Sign this!"

The Last Icmer shoved pieces of paper at Explorer, Happyface, Barkjon and Fred. They inspected the paper, then signed it.

"You are now the proud owners of these four portable fax machines," said The Last Icmer, "Now deal with this!"

The Last Icmer pulled out a golf club and smashed the fax machines furiously to the confused gaze of the Troublesome Trio and Fred.

Escape from the Chomp Flower
Dorkugese Jungle, Dorkugal 5:54 PM, November 28'''

Barkjon, ZapWire, and Fred continued to walk through the Dorkugese Jungle. Wires hung down from steel trees and occasionally the would spot what appeared to be a ghost. Fred was shaking as he held a sharp, acute triangle in one of his flippers. Then all of a sudden Barkjon spotted something in the distance.

"Hey you two come over here! I think I've found civillization!"

Fred and ZapWire cheered and ran as fast as they could. They were both used to modern technology, and they were getting tired of the jungle.

"FREEEDOM!" Yelled ZapWire.

But just as they reached the town they noticed it was foggy, and very dark. Most of it was lit up by neon lights, and the only sound was the occasional snap of an old wire.

"Wh, what is this pl, place?" Asked Fred nervously.

Barkjon went up to a sign that was also lit up by neon lights.

"Ghost Bottom. Accepting ghosts into our pit since 1989."

Fred, and ZapWire shook as they held onto each other.

"I, I can't even tell the restrooms apart, "said Fred nervously.

He pointed to an old building that had two worn off signs on each side. It was obvious it was a restroom though.

"Th, thats an easy one Fred. Just wait f, for s, someone to come out and th, then you'll know."

Just as he finished saying that a cloaked penguin floated out of one of the doors. Fred started shaking.

"Maybe we should wait for one more."

Then another cloaked penguin came out of the other door. This one was holding a torch. Then another torch holding penguin came out of the first door. Fred screamed.

"I WANNA GO HOME!"

His voice echoed through the jungle and Barkjon walked up to the two nervouse penguins.

"Be quiet you two. You don't want to attract anything."

I'll write the rest later.