How to be Popular and still be Yourself

How to be Popular and still be Yourself is a nonfiction[Citation needed?] book by Emily von Injoface telling the reader how to be popular, like her, without losing your individuality. The book itself is very popular, having sold many copies and receiving some critical acclaim. However. many other critics who have criticized the book for not living up to its title and for being unrealistic. It remains controversial for its content.

Introduction: Emily's Life and Philosophy
First of all, I'm assuming that you're reading this because you're unpopular. It is not wise to be making assumptions, as they can lead to wrong conclusions, but I am doing so anyways since there is no other way I could have written this book. If you are popular, this book will be near useless since it tells how to be popular in the first place, not how to become more popular.

I am happy to report that I am making a book telling how to be popular. Sure, those have existed before, but the content contained within this book is so much more than just a guide to popularity. This book if followed properly will make you popular, well-known and well-liked by a majority, and still yourself at the end of the day. The last part might be misleading, as this book will allow you to retain most of your qualities: your inner beauty, your personal interests, your goals and desires in life.

However, a part of you is holding you back - the thing that makes you unpopular. That part must be destroyed, or at least modified in a way that would allow you to accelerate through the social pyramid. You will also temporarily have to change your beliefs and values to set yourself on the right track, or it's back to square one. If you want to be popular, you are going to have to be strong. If you want to be popular, you are going to have to be mean. If you want to be popular, you are going to have to step on others on your way up. Once you are popular you can relax and help others- but not on the journey.

Keep in mind that I have written this book for anyone who wants to become popular. Even though I have gone through a lot of these experiences myself, you do not need to. You do not need to have constantly had unpopular people around you in your youth. You do not need to have virtually grown up in a television production set. In short, you do not need to be Emilia von Injoface to be popular. Eva Parlorine had a much different background than me, but she is also very popular. My other friend Elizabeth had a different background than both of us and she's popular. Each of them has retained their personalities along the way.

As stated before, you'll have to change at least a little before becoming popular. The qualities you're changing aren't the ones you may think. You can be stupid and still be popular. You can be ugly and still be popular. You can be poor and still be popular. Heck, you can be stupid, ugly, and poor and be popular. You just can't be lazy.

If you want popularity, you will have to work for it. It's true that being ugly, stupid, or poor will require you to work harder than the ones that aren't; obviously nobody can ultimately be popular without effort. Some common misconceptions that I presumed the reader would think would be that this book will make you "the best", "the richest", or the "most popular". That is not true. Best and popular have different meanings. Best means unsurpassed. Popular means well liked and known.

Other than that, there is a major difference. Popularity can be measured. Being the best is entirely based on opinions, and we all have varying ones anyway. I am going to admit something that I hesitated to say before: I am not the best. Nor am I the best at something like, well, giving advice on popularity. There may be someone better than me that I don't know of.

Same with the rest of my family. This is what very few of them understand. Alkamesh's methods aren't the best ways of practicing medicine. Uncle Lenny is not the best stage director. Matt is not the best cookie-giver. Indeed they are very good at what they do, but they aren't the best. This book will tell you how to be very good at some things, but you won't be the best at everything right off the bat.

Moving along, popular people are usually rich, but it has been stated before that poor people can become popular. This book will tell you briefly how to manage and spend your money, but in no way is it a cash-making guide or a get-rich-quick scheme. Lastly, being the most popular is similarly to being the best in the fact that it is a superlative. However, I know that I am the most popular, and I'm not just going to let someone surpass me :D.

With that said, enjoy the book.

Your pal, Emily Von Injoface

Chapter 1: Popularity in the Home and Family
A great way to practice popularity is in your own home. Your house is full of items that can be useful in getting what I consider "popularity points". Mirrors that you can look at yourself in, hygiene products that improve your health and looks, clothing and makeup... These are among some of the things you can apply to better yourself. Also, since the home is private, nobody will be able to see you modify yourself, so if you put on something that is rather embarrassing, you will be the only one to see it.

(Or rather your family sees it. I am not too big on my family. We all have... issues.)

However, I realize that your family is likely less dysfunctional than mine and you share stories, secrets, and spend time together. You probably had or have a loving mother, father, and possibly siblings who will support you. Unless you actually have serious problems with family members, it is best to trust them, especially if they had or maintain some level of popularity now. Is your mom a head chef? Is your dad a CEO? What about your brother - maybe he coaches for a sports team or your sister helps out with the Puffle Scouts. Ideally, any level of authority usually indicates popularity, as enough people thought you were good enough to be in charge of something.

Trivia

 * This book is very popular in Snowzerland, namely among youths still trying to find themselves.
 * The Fashion Police swears on a copy of this book during their meetings.
 * As do Mean Girlz, who each own a signed and bedazzled copy.
 * Rocket Slug feels strongly about this book and argues that its effects on youths are detrimental. As someone who has gotten caught up in this "pipeline" herself, she believes that true popularity is impossible to measure and doesn't matter.
 * This, of course, isn't met without some backlash. After all, isn't she popular in her own right with unpopular penguins, who look up to her for guidance and friendship? Curious!