David Jones

Captain David Jones is Baldurshroom's brother and an ancient, cursed TurtleShroom relative that roams the oceans in service to Mandy Mortis. He picks up the ghosts of creatures that die at sea and ferries them to the portal of the BOF, where Mandy sends them on their way, or grants them their Pass back to the living. Or, at least, that's what he's supposed to be doing, but that's another story (found below).

By fulfilling all of Mandy's duties at sea, he greatly cuts her workload and allows her to more efficiently rule over death. Unlike on land, Mandy has to go to the dead at sea; the dead come to her on land, meanwhile. Possibly, it's the effect of the raw power of the ocean, or it may be involved with other beings weakening her power by being at sea, like The Kraken and Flying Dutchhopper.

He, like Flying Dutchhopper, once crossed with Captain Jack Penguin, who cheated him on a promise.

Background
In the days of Khanzem, David hatched in what would one day be Mattress Village. He and his brother, Baldurshroom, were one of the many siblings that grew up on the family farm back then. They were all very close to each other, and untouched by Whoot's tyranny because of their isolation.

The same lessons on purity and "what's right" that have plagued the world for over one hundred years were given to David and Baldur in huge doses. Each eventually became, through differing series of events, fanatically devoted to finding and eventually destroying "The Secret".

Before David and his siblings parted ways as they grew, their father saved up all he had earned as a humble farmer to take them to the beach. It took days' worth of journeys, but their vehicle eventually got them to ther destination. The family had the time of their life, but David, in particular, fell in love with the sea. He decided, seeing the autumn sun falling under the waters, that he would live at the seashore.

In the 1940s, David, now grown up, did go to the ocean and set up his quest on the seashores in a village on the Eastshieldian coast. He was a kind fellow, but unlike his brother, he never found any leads to the Secret, and soon, he decided it was better that he pursue other something else in life.

He decided to become a fisherman.

Lacking funds for anything beyond bait and tackle, David lucked out when his village was chosen as a port of call for a cruise ship line. David befriended the captain and crew there, and they allowed him to fish and live on the cruise ship. He was very courteous to the tourists and became an attraction all his own, because of his hospitality.

The ship's captain took a big liking to David, and was impressed at his fishing skills. The captain brought him to the helm every now and then to let him drive the cruise ship. He was delighted at the thrill of driving a ship and soon learned how to do it fairly well on his own.

Sadly, after a year on the ship, in 1941, the captain fell off the cruise ship and died at sea. David quickly seized control of the ship and anchored it as he dove off the side to go and rescue the captain's body, hoping he hadn't died. Being a penguin, David was a good swimmer, even if he was wearing clothes.

The sun was setting. At a distance, he saw a green flash in the sky and a rowboat appear close to where the Captain had appeared. David hid in the open sea as he watched a penguin with a scyhe row over to the body, stab it with the scythe, and vanish when the sun went down with a second green flash (a meteorlogical impossibility). He immediately knew that the creature had something unnatural about it, and he intended to find out what.

He swam back to the cruise ship and informed everyone both of the captain's death and the rowboat and the green flash. The tourists and crew mentioned that they had seen it as well, and were as curious as he was.

Suddenly, and out of nowhere, a third green flash, this time when the sun had long set, appeared in the sky. Since green flashes are associted with sunsets, it didn't make sense.

A scowling, small penguin with wild hair and a very real scythe appeared on the deck of the ship. She glared at everyone, especially David, and announced that they had to say nothing about what David had witnessed, or they would face the consequences. Her name was Mandy Mortis, the gatekeeper of death.

David took a liking to her, oddly, thinking (wrongly) that her cold nature and disdain were because she had no friends, or something. Afraid of her supernatural position but always being a caring penguin, he tried to talk to her. Mandy decided to humor him, thinking she could later use him by playing with his emotions (items she lacked).

David talked to Mandy and ended up falling in love with her over the course of the non-stop dialog they shared that night. Mandy even agreed to arrive in a week to explain what she did for a living, and lied to him, saying that she would even use her position to aid him in getting "The Secret".

An overjoyed David told everyone the next morning about what Mandy had said. They had a funeral for their captain's body, and then the tourists and crew just mingled around on the anchored cruise ship until a green flash on the sunset of the seventh day signalled Mandy's arrival.

Mandy appeared and decided to explain her job to everyone. Needless to say, they were awed that the master (technically, the mistress) of death was before them. Some of them secretly thought that they could ask her for immortality or another form of special treatment.

David and Mandy retreated to speak some more, and soon, David did come to love Mandy, despite her power and relation to the Secret.

It was then that Mandy struck a deal, playing on David's naivity and his innocent crush. She asked him to simply sail the cruise ship to bodies that die at sea and come close to them. Mandy would allow the ship to use some of her power to call forth the ghosts of the dead and automatically ship them to Mandy.

Mandy said that, in exchange for him doing this job for a decade, she would marry David and then cooperate with him on unravelling and making "the Secret" better for everyone.

eedless to say, David was more than happy to agree. By shaking flippers with Mandy, David bound himself to Mandy's terms and conditions. Mandy, though, wasn't obligated. (It's amazing what shaving Director Benny can do for expandion one's power.) To seal the deal, she jabbed her scythe into David's chest, but it phased through him (as was Mandy's intention). She hadn't aimed to harm him, just bind him. As a fan of symbolism, Mandy chose David's heart as the "signature" on the "contract". The heart is the core of the circulatory system and a major source of life. When hearts stop beating, it's their time. To seal the oath, David's heart stopped beating and he no longer needewd to eat, drink, or sleep.

andy and David returned to the deck of the cruise ship to explain their deal, and she played on the greed of the guests and cruise ship's crew. She decided to grant each of them their selfish desires, mainly immortality or perpetual health until death, declining to mention that they were now, as David was, bound to the ship in exchange. After all, every ship needed a crew!

She told them this only after their agreements, and then she vanished, leaving the newly enslaved crew of the recommissioned cruise ship. For the next ten year, they couldn't leave the ship or step on land. If he was to step on land on an unappointed day or for too long, he'd turn to dust.

They had no choice but to raise a new flag over the ship and begin their new duty as a ship of death. David's kindness and demanor eventually eased the pains of the other prisoners, and they all became very close friends to one-another. His optimism and excitement at being Mandy's husband kept their morale quite high.

Ten years passed since that day, and David, expecting Mandy, was finally able to dock the cursed ship at his hometown village, which, by then, had become a ghost town because the fish were all gone.

David and crew sat and waited all morning and into the evening. As the sun set, a green flash arrived, but Mandy didn't. They had been betrayed.

After that, David weeped for hours and refused to speak to anyone. He always believed in promises and deals, and had never been betrayed in his life. Now overwhelmingly betrayed and cursed with a deal from the very penguin he had a crush on, he had no idea what to do.

His friends/crew tried to make him feel better, but he refused to budge, and kept brooding. Mandy had made him immortal to do his job, and now he had nothing to live for.

Taking advantage of the last few hours on land, David decided to declare void his contract because of what Mandy had done. That would mean he would have to do something about his heart, which was used by Mandy to bind him to his oath.

Not wanting anything gross or gory, he pretended to be a dead penguin and had his crew wheel him into a morgue. He said he was an organ donor, and they wanted him to remove his heart first. Since David didn't breathe or have a pulse as part of the deal, the mortician removed David's heart and placed it in an ice chest for a potential organ donation recipient. He went to clean his flippers, and when he returned, both the ice chest and David were gone. (David just hopped off the table when he was sealed back up.)

They took the heart and placed it in a chest. He had one of the fisher penguins that used to know David bury the chest, unaware of what it was.

Then, just before midnight, they escaped back to the cruise ship and sailed off. They hoped that the loophole worked, and that the immortal David's heart would turn to dust and void the agreement it represented.

The next day, David and crew realized that they had not broken the oath entirely. They were still cursed with the ten year rule and the bindings, but they had buried David's vow to help find the dead.

David was torn. He made a promise and was obligated to keep it, even if Mandy didn't. He wanted to keep doing his job, but he was too upset at Mandy to put the will into it. The self-conflict eventually wound uop keeping David busy, and he skirted his duties. Over the next dedcade, Mandy cursed David for breaking his oath (mega-hypocrite) by ruining David's appearence.

He turned the color of sea rocks, his clothes became tattered and draped in permanent seaweed, his eyes turned red, and flippers mysteriously turned into five-fingered claws. Moss and sea life clang to his clothes and to his feathers. Similar things happened to his crew. The cruise ship's stories and decks rusted- despite not being of iron -and were covered in moss, barnacles, and everything else that would be found on a sunken ship that sat underwater for decades. The ship even became structurally unsound and broken all over, and if it wasn't for Mand's oath, she would have sunk. Now, the Fourth Wall powers Mandy had given the ship were keeping her afloat.

Mandy wanted to kill him, though- thinking it would be fun -but because of his heart being "misplaced", she couldn't. To kill David, she'd have to first revoke his immortality by undoing the process with which she bound David (that is, phasing her scythe through his heart and back). Now, David had miraciously gained the upper flipper. Mandy respected that, being a cynical and emotionless penguin, and sent David a letter saying she respected him. (David did not respond.)

Involvement
Having no other purpose, David and crew returned to their duty and helped deliver ghosts to Mandy. This soon became boring as technology made the act of dying at sea more and more rare.

As time went by, the now ghostly and still-cursed David came to terms with himself and his situation and decided to do right. He began to sail his haunted cruise ship to various ports and hope that someone of noble and righteous attitude would appear and board it in curiosity.

Once there, one of David's crew (David himsef could not exit the boat) would get them on board, where David would offer them a deal in good will: work on his ship for a certain amount of time (it varied between a week and a year), and they would be granted, through David's powers, a guarenteed thirteen extra years of life onto their current lifespan, or, alternately, David could pull forth from the ocean some item the visitor lost and return it to him or her in perfect condition. (After all, how many times have people lost their cell phone, or a valuable, or, in some cases, a whole ship?)

When a creature accepts David's offer, they become bound to the ship for the set amount of time to earn the reward. During that time, time itself does not pass for the creature. (David, the ship, and his crew were made outside of time as part of Mandy's backstabbing deals.) In other words, one who boarded on July 19th, 2011, would return at port on July 19th, 2011.

David would then honor his word by extending their lifespan or calling back the item. So far, over two hundred penguins volunteered for the job.

While working on the ship, they take on the same ghastly appearence as David and crew, including the fingered claws, but David always manages to calm them down by saying it wears off when the offer is through.

Powers
Mandy gave David limited powers, but when he removed his heart and hid it away, a loophole was created that kept Mandy from revoking, limiting, or altering the powers she gave him. Now free to do as he wished (but still unable to step on land for ten years at a time), David soon learned how to expand his powers over death at sea to grant him something of worth.


 * David can:


 * Extend someone's life by thirteen years, or revoke the same amount.
 * Bind a creature under oath to serve him (essentially, indentured servitude) for a time he deems fitting.
 * Excercise limited control over the ocean for about a ten mile radius.
 * Drive his ship with mere gestures and thought.
 * Call forth any tangible, non-living item, no matter how old, to the surface in the condition it was before it sank. (This includes cell phones, junk, and even entire ships.)
 * Send the ghosts of creatures that die at sea on their way to Mandy. (This is his duty.)
 * Levitate a few inches of the ground.
 * Instantly teleport to/appear on a ship that gets close enough to him.

Personality
Despite his horrific appearence and haunted ship, David is actually a very kind penguin that believes in the old Jones Family rules of morality, purity, honor, and keeping their word, among other things. Essentially, he's a sea-faring TSP.

David doesn't usually get angry. In fact, when he's double-crossed or betrayed, he usually runs off and weeps. (His crew then goes after whoever ruined their captain's day. It is VERY painful.) This isn't because David is weak, but rather, because he doesn't believe in revenge, nor fighting.

Unlike a lot of his family, David is slow to anger and even slower to retaliation. This makes the immortal penguin vulnerable to would-be attackers and con-artists looking to exploit his powers.

Captain Jack Penguin
After completing his deal with Flying Dutchhopper to get an exquisite ship, the legendary Captain Jack Penguin eventually found David Jones. The Captain had embarassingly sank the ship that Dutchhopper gave him, and the Captain, being the master of the seas he was, knew that David had the power to raise the ship.

Putting on his best "nice guy" impersonation, he eventually tracked down and boarded David's cruise ship, where the ghostly penguin fell for his ruse, and per his usual kindness, promised to raise up an item after Jack pledged a year to serve him in a ship where time stood still (meaning he'd serve, and after it was done, it'd be the same day he got on). Jack whittled his agreement to eight months, and reached to shake David's flipper. Unfortunately for David, the flipper Jack extended was a phony rubber novelty item, so Jack was not yet bound to David's oath, even though David thought he was.

Proving his power, David immediately raised Captain Jack Penguin's ship. He directed it to follow his ship as an incentive to begin working, but as he did, Jack jumped off the cruise ship and onto his. David tried to use his power to enforce the oath he thought Jack had taken, but he realized that he had been tricked.

As he looked on in shock, horror, and awe, Captain Jack Penguin laughed at David Jones and turned his back, sailing off with a ship in mint condition.

Needless to say, David Jones does not like Captain Jack Penguin.

Trivia

 * Alongside Flying Dutchhopper, David Jones is the parody of the Pirates of the Carribean version of Davy Jones. Each one covers an aspect of a character too awesome to get just one parody.
 * The portal that the cruise ship passes through to send the ghosts on to Mandy takes the form of a giant locker.
 * David Jones is an expert on the pipe organ, but not as good as the Flying Dutchhopper.