Rookie

"Sometimes, I accidently glue my sunglasses to my face, which is just silly, because I'm usually just trying to glue my hat on."

- Rookie, Club Penguin Times (Issue CCCLX, 9/18/2012)

Warrook "Rookie" Chintzovy, also called Club Penguin's Village Idiot, is an extremely clumsy PSA agent/PCPA worker that seems to embody Murphy's Law. With Rookie, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. His older brother is Cookie, the owner of CookieMakers Inc., his uncle is Green Ninja, and his best friend is Doodle Dabble. He is the shame of the former Penguin Secret Agency and played a key part in causing both its failure (HE GAVE HIM THE FREAKING PHONE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD) to capture Herbert and its ultimate fate: dissolution.

Background
Rookie came from a small town in the Antarctic Peninsula, and frequently visited Club Penguin Island in the summer. However, he was a total klutz from hatching, and caused several disasters in the town (one of which included blowing up the county water tower).

Eventually he was banished and sent to Club Penguin, where he tried to apply for the PSA and become an agent like his uncle. To the entire agency's surprise, Rookie was accepted (after 44 attempts) despite his clumsiness, and has wrecked almost every single mission he has participated in since. His real name was AR Turaz. It stands for Aklutz Rookie Turaz.

School
After the opening of the Club Penguin University in July 2013, Rookie went to school to learn more and be less clumsy in his life (or at least we think so, ask Director Benny if you aren't sure). He confirms he actually enjoys school and wishes he goes to school everyday year round, as discovered in the Club Penguin Times. In fact, it was soon discovered he always gets A's or B's, which is odd behavior for a brain like his, especially the fact HE GAVE HIM THE FREAKING PHONE.

Involvement
Rookie is widely regarded as Club Penguin's "village idiot". He messes up any mission he is actively assigned to. The PSA tried to remedy this by making him stand completely still and hand out papers. It actually worked. He also has a serious crush on Psyche, in which the feeling is anything but mutual. (She put the Gigaton bomb he gave her for her birthday in his toilet. Ouch.)

Conspiracy Theory
Rookie is regarded by conspiracy theorists to be a physical jinx, an embodiment of bad luck, assigned to the PSA as a revenge move by a higher power. They point to his endless blunders in the agency and the refusal of the Director to fire him, despite the fact he should be. Those who also believe in the Philly Cheesesteak Test note that he joined the PSA right after the test ended, and point out to some sort of connection, although it's most likely not the case, at least by those who don't.

Rookie's Biggest Blunders
Rookie has caused or ruined the following:


 * The evil motives of Scientist Squid. Rookie destroyed his cave by wrecking a Hydro Hopper boat on it. Poor thing.


 * THE PHONE. HE GAVE HIM THE FREAKING PHONE. Herbert had asked him for a customary "one phone-call courtesy", upon which HE GAVE HIM HIS FREAKING PHONE. At least it was shut off at some point. And unfortunately, Klutzy didn't snip it in half. That could've been Klutzy's chance to stop being evil! But he was involved in a stupid game.


 * THE OTHER PHONE. HE GAVE HIM THE OTHER FREAKING PHONE. QuackerpYngu had asked him to borrow it, upon which HE GAVE HIM HIS OTHER FREAKING PHONE. At least QuackerpYngu gave it back before joining The Evil Something. And unfortunately, Rookie didn't stop QuackerpYngu after that so he still got away with the Y-Virus and some grenades! But Rookie was too stupid to stop him.


 * Delaying a mission. Rookie explained that the Gift Shop's coin vault was untouched and unhampered. To prove his claim, he shut the vault and FORGOT THE FREAKING COMBINATION. This forced the agents attending to search for the vault's access code. Had he not shut the vault and the coins were found on the ceiling, the agents may have caught Herbert operating the Electromagnet 3000, as opposed to merely getting a fur sample... but who knows? Not us, and DEFINITELY not you.


 * Exploding a water tower. Seriously, Rookie.


 * Delaying a rescue operation. When he attempted to save three stranded penguins, he became lost himself, for crying out loud.


 * Getting lost and forcing a rescue mission. He was saved by Jet Pack Guy after an agent located him in the Wilderness. Lesson learned: If at first you don't succeed, don't ever do it again.


 * Giving Psyche a Gigaton Bomb for her fourteenth Birthday. Don't ask why.


 * Routinely exposing the PSA. In fact, Rookie has given the secret away so many times that by 2007, the PSA was known to exist despite denial... ROOKIE!.


 * He broke Green Ninja's TV with a baseball bat while he was watching Pengjago: Masters of Pufflejitsu.


 * Doing an April Fools Prank that went WAY out of control.

The "Rookie effect"
Rookie's curse doesn't seem to remain only in the hegemony of the PSA. Indeed, his absorption into the EPF did nothing to nullify it, and his hometown still has some signs of his clumsiness (in the form of cracks, paint overs, and replacements). It seems that anything Rookie participates in receives his curse for the duration of his stay, and anything he touches or assists will feel the effect as well, for a given time.

Folks down at the Bureau of Fiction's Department of Research have dubbed the externalities of this curse as the Rookie effect. While they are not completely sure as to the nature of the effect, they are certain that it is an unintended consequence of the curse he embodies. As the anthropomorphic personification of klutziness, the effects of his stupidity are probably not limited to himself and his actions. With a little knowledge and training, he might even be able to manipulate his bad luck, and use it as a weapon against other evils!

Trivia

 * Rookie is afraid of clowns.
 * Rookie likes trains.