User blog:TurtleShroom/The TSP Conspiracy, and

On Februrary 15th, 2010, I tuned in to a certain 8:30 PM show that was airing a new episode. The show in question can not be mentioned because it is unclean, but I watched it with my grandfather. Said show was a satire of politics.

The most notable part of the show, however, was a certain character who lived in a White House bunker, secretly controlling EVERYTHING, literally, EVERYTHING regarding the government. He was immortal, he could access any federal building through a tunnel labyrinth, and he secretly controlled everything from the bunker. Until 2009, he could wonder about freely, but he was cursed to then stay in the bunker after that forever, and should his body ever touch the sun, he would crumble to dust.

He claimed to have used the previous president as a puppet, and that HE was in total control of everything since George Washington crossed the Delaware (and even appeared in a portrait of it at the Smithstonian, which he also controlled). He said he controlled Congress, the Federal Reserve, the Supreme Court, etc. etc., and even what soap opera airs on primetime (the only non-government thing he had power over). He said that he never stopped because he couldn't handle not being in complete control of everything.

The protagonists accidently exposed said character to the sun and he crumbled to dust at the end, not knowing of his curse. They had convinced him to finally stop controlling everything and let the country run itself, as it should. He was elated to go and experience the world, but crumbled to dust upon walking into the sunlight.

Who is this character, and why am I writing about him in a blog post?

Well, who he is will be a top secret, but I said all of that to lay down an interesting past for TurtleShroom (penguin).

You know, my TurtleShroom (penguin) article is pretty good, but I was thinking... TSP has a pretty lousy past for such a villanious, influential, industrial, powerful, omnipresent, annoying, and wealthy character.

That got me to thinking.


 * How did TurtleShroom (penguin) get his money?


 * How did TSP meet Explorer, and when?


 * What did TSP do between his job at an amusement park and his post as Dictator?


 * Are those other jobs mentioned there real, or did TS remain in the amusement park business?


 * Why doesn't TSP have any connection to any other form of villainy?


 * Why doesn't he ever take off that crown?


 * What would be good dirt against TSP, had the comrades aired an attack ad (an attack ad on TSP is a possible video oppurtunity)?


 * Who are his cronies and what are their connections?


 * Just how many friends in high places does TSP have?


 * CAN THE DICTATOR REALLY BREAK THE FOURTH WALL?


 * Why are there ONLY pictures of TSP as dictator?


 * Is he hiding something?


 * Why does TSP love amusement parks so much, long after he supposedly quit the business?


 * Who REALLY has that 31% share of stock in Puff Flags?


 * Why does The Inquisitor have the TurtleShroom Productions logo on his robe, and why does the Inquisitor have a HQ in Puff Flags?


 * Why is TurtleShroom always there when someone is doing something bad on the CPW?


 * How does TurtleShroom instantly pop up in any Shout Box and any whiteboard on Weekees?


 * How does he get there so fast?


 * Does he REALLY mope in his palace all day?


 * Why are there some rooms with signs reading "HIGH VOLTAGE" or "EMPLOYEES ONLY", if TurtleShroom (penguin) lives alone and maintains his palace through hired assistants?


 * Why do all of TSP's palace chandeliers contain candles instead of lightbulbs?


 * Why is the fourth and final floor of TSP's palace off-limits to tours?


 * Why do those who visit late at night here whispering above them from the third floor?


 * What is with TurtleShroom (penguin)'s constant investments in the Itinerod?


 * Why is it that, in some employees-only rooms in Puff Flags, you can see the TurtleShroom logo on the wall?


 * Why doesn't TSP let anyone go in his walk-in-closet in his office?


 * Does TSP have OTHER crowns?


 * Why doesn't TurtleShroom (penguin) ever change his outfit, unless in CP for a short-term occasion?


 * Why is there always a sombrero in ever Puff Flags gift shop?


 * Why do Nachos get free admission to Puff Flags?


 * Did TSP really give up his old amusement park job?


 * What in the world does TSP do when we're not watching?


 * Why does he have papers in his desk regarding amusement park budgets?


 * Who leaked those?


 * Why is TurtleShroom (penguin) so secretive about what he does ever since his retirement from his office?


 * Why can you hear footsteps in his palace at night?


 * Does TSP conduct other businesses than the CPW?


 * Why can't Mayor McFlapp ever track him?


 * What led Explorer to be a fan?


 * Why does Corai get free admission to Puff Flags?


 * Why is there a lone roller coaster out near Yoenah that no one has ever mentioned?


 * Why does is there a meeting room building of sorts under neath it?


 * Why is there a tree planted on its rooftop garden, and why does Olivia have a picture of it on her computer's desktop?


 * Why is it that, on July 3rd of every year, Puff Flags raises a seventh, TSP-dictatorship flag? Why do they do so on Easter Sunday? On June 27th? On December 27th?


 * How is TSP everywhere and watching those who misbehave?


 * Why does TurtleShroom (penguin) refuse to talk about what he did before the CPW?


 * Why is all he tells- when he tells -about his job at that amusement park?


 * How can someone be so incorruptible and ummoving?


 * Does TurtleShroom have something to hide?


 * How does TurtleShroom (penguin) know what a JobJab is, and why does he never use that Deletion Rod anymore?


 * Why does MobileShroom cringe when someone mentions that Rod?


 * Have you ever noticed that scar on MobileShroom's neck, and his infinite ban on the CPW?


 * Why was it unbanned after one minute with the comment "sorry, I was aiming at a Walrus, not you" on it?


 * How was that removed from the CPW's block list... until now?


 * What is with TurtleShroom and the urge to have control over everything he does?


 * Why does he freak out when something disobeys his plan?


 * Why is TSP sometimes thought to be sighted in the South Pole Capitol at night, even though he doesn't have a key?


 * Did you ever notice that manhole-sized patch in the floor of the Capitol lobby?


 * Why didn't they repair that?


 * Couldn't the government have afforded to cover that with a rug or tile, or something, especially since the rest of the floor is hardwood?


 * Does TSP have more power than he wants you to believe?


 * Why are there similar holes in other federal and noticable buildings, like his palace, Frost Clocktower, and Explorer's igloo?


 * Explorer, have you ever noticed that hole in your igloo?


 * Has Fred?


 * Why did TSP show up with a contract when Midas and Herb tried to build a log flume ride?


 * How does TSP pop up out of nowhere? Is there a connection between amusement parks and TurtleShroom?


 * Again, how does TSP appear everywhere, when his teleporter is that of a generic playing card?


 * Why do all of TSP's bodygaurds have a lifetime pass to Puff Flags?


 * Why does TSP go to Puff Flags every year?


 * What does TSP have to do with Puff Flags?


 * Why aren't there any other known amusement parks besides Puff Flags and the Fall Fair?


 * Can Turtlenators REALLY apply for lifetime passes to Puff Flags if they can ask TSP?


 * Why is TurtleShroom (penguin)'s past so poorly detailed?


 * How is he so secretive?


 * If TSP can really break the Fourth Wall, why do BOF Doinkometers never go off, and why can't BOFM detect it either?


 * If TSP does have amusement park connections, how powerful can that be?


 * How did Conductor Hertz get persuaded to compose for TurtleShroom? "An awesome song for an awesome dictator" is a stupid reason.

All I'm saying is that TurtleShroom (penguin) has something to hide, and that his wealth can't come out of nowhere. Remember, he didn't spend a single SithClub Point on his palace, his crown, or his theme song.

I thought this up after seeing said show (at the top) and that character.

Soon, very soon, the truth will be revealed. The parodee and inspiration... well, I'll give hints. If you figure it out, DO NOT TELL OR COMMENT ABOUT IT ON THIS POST, OR I WILL DELETE THE COMMENT. I want to build up the SUSPENSE.

-- † This is Serious Business! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) THE GAME. † 02:52, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Okay. Now that we have added SUSPENSE, please go HERE for the follow-up/answer. -- † This is Serious Business! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) The answer is DICK CHENEY. † 22:08, February 18, 2010 (UTC)