Foe Stummer

Simon Smith (born May 27rd, 1961), stage name Foe Stummer, is a musician, singer and songwriter of pop music - and rock music. He works as a duo with Bernie, a retired tour-guide. He is an ace at the guitar, and is best known for making incredibly catchy melodies. He's also really good at covering songs. As he result, he and his companion make a comfortable salary of at least 10,00 coins per day.

His one weakness?

A hatred of rock-and-roll.

This is rather ironic, seeing how militant rock-and-roll-ism could lead to his path to fame, and that many penguins have noticed the severe rock-and-roll-ish element of many of his songs...but hey, who really cares? As Stummer himself puts it, "I oppose all rock-and-roll!"

Early Life
Foe Stummer hatched as Simon Smith on May 27th, 1961, with one brother and two sisters, to Cecilia and Jamie Smith, who were part of a... very unusual family indeed.

The reader may wonder at why this family may be unusual.

Well, this family hated rock-and-roll with a passion.

Later Life - Curse of the Three-Stringed Guitar
After many years of such peaceful anti-rock-and-roll activism, disaster happened.

Simon and his good friend Paul were in the basement one day, looking about for interesting fragments of pop music, when he stumbled against a triangular black electric guitar, which had only three strings. It was Kenneth, the guitar which was part of family lore, due to have allegedly protected the house when it was being burgled one day (the thief tripped over it and alerted the household). Naturally, Simon was fascinated at this piece of family history, but, for some obscure reason which he regrets to this very day, implied that he was about to strum it, and asked for Paul if he had any advice on playing guitars.

Paul's response?

"Don't do it," said Paul.

Simon scoffed his advice, and his flippers tripped over the strings...

"Don't do it," said Paul, somewhat louder than last time.

He ignored this statement, and his flippers were about to strum...

"In the name of the anti-rock-and-roll-ers, don't do it!" exclaimed Paul.

The damage was done - Simon was playing a rock-and-roll tune on the guitar, and making Paul quiver in shock.

"I don't want to stay here down in the basement - you're absolutely and completely awful, you are!" said Paul, who then disappeared.

As it was, he lost a great many friends that day, but his reputation massively improved. He became known as the "Rock-and-Roll Prodigy", and penguins from all English-speaking countries flocked to see this random chick playing Elvis on the magic instrument.

He was still against rock-and-roll, but nobody listened. After all, he couldn't keep away from the guitar anymore, and rock-and-roll-ish tunes continuously poured out of him. It was the (probably nonexistent) Curse of the Three-Stringed Guitar, which applied to Kenneth only, and made its unfortunate players addicted to playing rock-and-roll. He had previously been unaware of this, and his horrified family had only alerted him about it a few days after the event.

Things got very bad.

His former colleagues and companions backed away from him. His friends gasped when they saw him. His family even considered running away to Club Penguin without him, so they could escape the shame.

He was done for, as the Puffish say.

Still, he didn't lose spirit. From that day onwards, he began to proudly tell everybody that "I oppose all rock-and-roll!"

Quotes

 * "I'm opposed to all rock-and-roll!"

Trivia

 * With enough temper and strength, any guitar he wields is rumored to be able to destroy anything, even cages.
 * As proved here, it really does smash open cages.
 * This is a parody of Joe Strummer and of Vic Goddard.
 * His most famous song is I'm in the Garage (with My Mabel Detector), which is obviously a big hit with Mabel haters.
 * His and the band's second-most famous song, made more recently, is The King Save Swiss Ninja.
 * As many may expect, the song actually makes fun of Puffle'and's anthem, and goes like this, but with more lyrics -
 * Teh King Save Swiss Ninja!
 * He ain't no penguin bean!
 * He's a Fashist pengween!
 * Noooooooooooooo fewwwwwwwwchtah!
 * Noooooooooooooo fewwwwwwwwchtah!
 * Noooooooooooooo fewwwwwwwwchtah!
 * For Swiss Ninjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
 * The song's immense success has even made the cover of the album containing the song (a picture of Swiss Ninja's head with the crown and beak covered with the words "THE KING SAVE SWISS NINJA") made into t-shirts, and even teacups.
 * Rumour has it that the song was adapted from an existing song also making fun of the anthem.