Tsar MobileShroom I

His Autocineti, Tsar MobileShroom Jones I, also known as Tsar MobileShroom, Czar Jones, MB, the Car Czar, or simply MobileShroom, is a powerful and high-ranking government official who presides over the restructuring of the now-bankrupt Gaston Motors. He takes his job and transportation very seriously. His brothers include prestigious penguins like TSP and Tortugadesetas.

MobileShroom was appointed to his position in 2009 by Minister of Treasury Barrick Abanana, whom he secretly doesn't like.

Background
MobileShroom was always a get-around penguin. As a chick, he loved transportation. On vacations, he believed that getting there WAS the fun! He loved riding in a vehicle, the thrill of his parents driving down the highway at 80 MPH excited him. He always longed to drive. MobileShroom didn't believe in desktop PCs. No, he took his work on the road! It was only mobile internet phones and laptops for him!

When he finally became old enough to drive, he bought himself a rickety old car from before there were companies, had it outfitted to match safety standards, and hit the streets... slowly.

His passion for driving and knack at all things automobile landed him a title of royalty in Barrick Abanana's bureaucracy. He is the official Car Czar of the government.

As Car Czar
MobileShroom, as Car Czar, is probably the most powerful figure in the automotive world. He sets the limits, he writes the standards, he requires a seat belt for every passenger and grants the freedom to choose whether or not to have car insurance (he prefers the freedom of choice).

Powers
The car czar does the following...
 * In charge of the restructuring of the auto industry.
 * Dictates what must be in cars, what safety standards they must meet, how green are they, etc., if any.
 * Extraordinary powers to compel “interested parties” in the industry: lenders, auto dealers and union representatives - to make concessions.
 * Anyone the car czar feels isn’t doing a good job is summoned to his office for discussions.
 * Authorize loans to automakers.
 * Set restructuring goals and evaluate the progress.
 * Negotiate deals between automakers and “interested parties” on the long-term restructuring plan, includes setting up meetings.

On the road
MobileShroom is one of the slowest drivers on the highway. If he is even three miles over the speed limit, he takes his foot off the gas and coasts back to the proper speed. He becomes guilty if he exceeds the speed limit once so ever, claiming that he "feels like a criminal". This ends with a lot of road rage from the cars behind his.

Phrases yelled at Tsar MobileShroom I when driving
(yell something else at the czar, add more road rage!)
 * "SPEED UP, SPEED UP!"
 * "THERE ARE FIVE CARS BEHIND YOU, SO SPEED UP"!
 * "CAN'T YOU GO ANY FASTER, GRANDPA?!"
 * "YOU'RE THE CAR CZAR, YET YOU DRIVE LIKE A TAXPAYER! A NOOBISH TAXPAYER!"
 * "HEY YOU, GET OFF THE ROAD!"
 * *honks horn*
 * &#&^#&^#^%$W@Q^%#$!@#$%^&*
 * THE NURSING HOME CALLED, THEY WANT THEIR SENIOR BACK!
 * GRANDPA!!
 * "My meerkats are dying in the back!!!"
 * PRESS THE VERTICAL PEDAL ON THE RIGHT NOT THE HORIZONTAL ONE ON THE LEFT!!!
 * YELLING, APPLY DIRECTLY TO MOBILESHROOM! YELLING, APPLY DIRECTLY TO MOBILESHROOM!
 * ...You're slow!
 * HURRY UP I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY LAB!
 * GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU ROAD HOG!
 * WHAT ARE YOU, A TELEPHONE OR A FLIPPIN' MUD RACER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
 * WHAT?!?
 * THIS IS BELLY RIDICULOUS! GET OUT OF MY WAY, YOU SLOWPOKE!
 * ARE YOU SLEEPING, GRANDPA?!? WAKE UP! DRIVE FASTER!
 * YOU'RE TOO SLOW!
 * CREAM PIES AHOY!
 * IT'S CALLED AN ACCELERATION PEDAL! YOU PRESS ON IT!
 * I LIKE TURTLES THAT ARE NOT LIKE YOU!!!
 * HIT THE ROAD, BOY!
 * FLAT TIRES PLEASE?!?
 * "HEY! GET OUT OF THE ROAD! WHERE'D YOU GET YOUR LICENCE FROM? A CEREAL BOX?!"
 * HEY YOU! SPEED UP! OMG, THE DRIVERS IN MCDONALDS CITY! ERGH!
 * Did you know it's a against the law to drive too SLOW? WHAT?!!! YOU SAID IT! *honks horn*
 * IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP, I'LL THROW MY ONION PICKLE AT YOU!!!

Quotes
MobileShroom is driving like a grandpa on the highway.

Mabel (in Explorer's limo): HEY, GRANDPA! GET OFF THE (&%*&^%$&*^ ROAD!

Explorer: Mabel, I don't think you-

Mabel: I'VE SEEN TREES GO FASTER THAN YOU!

Explorer: Mabel, that's the-

Mabel: HEY GRANDPA, PULL OVER SO I CAN YELL AT YOU!

MobileShroom pulls over and steps out to confront Mabel

MB: Yes?

Mabel: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c........

MB: Yes, yes...

Mabel: AHH, DON'T TAKE MY LICENSE!

Mabel runs away.

Explorer: O_O

Explorer hugs MobileShroom

Explorer: THANK YOU! I NEVER KNEW IT WAS THAT EASY!

Gaston: You're mean!

MB: You're bankrupt!

Some passing randomer: OOOOOOHHHH!

Barrick Abanana: It is with great pleasure that I appoint, err, MobileShroom as the subordinate manager of cars and the automobile in this harsh time of, err, recession. May he, err, prosper and retain the car industry from falling.

PUP Member: Yeah, but he's a Power N00b!

Barrick: But he's such a big fan of bananas- err, I mean cars.

MobileShroom: (whispering to James Mccane) Weirdo.

Mabel: GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU *$%#&%*$%&^%*$ ROAD HOG!

MB: I am not a road hog!

Fudd (who snuck in the back): Oink Oink!


 * Why do I drive so slow, you ask? I ask you, why do you drive so FAST?


 * I like SUVs. I can't fit in those compact green cars... which is why I'll make SUVs more fuel efficient!


 * Barrick Abanana is nuts... DON'T TELL HIM THAT!


 * One reason my parents were glad about my slow driving was because I'll never get pulled over for speeding.


 * Did you know it's a against the law to drive too SLOW? Seriously, it is. I'd do something about it, but I control car spending and economics... not the roads.

---

Trivia

 * MobileShroom doesn't like compact "green" cars. He plans on making SUVs more fuel efficient.
 * Hippies and PETF hate MobileShroom.
 * Cheddar Ninja lists MobileShroom as one of his "arch-enemies".
 * In his spare time, MobileShroom loves to play with Heated Axles toys.