Talk:Corruption in Polaris

 ――–    ―――――     23:42, 8 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Sorry, but does this article have any other purpose but to show a Liberal society filled with telling flaws? This has clearly required a lot of work, and is certainly promising, but it comes across as a Broken Aesop rather than an actual article. It's full of links to Wikipedia and out-of-context, fourth-wall-breaking political commentary. It's a pity, as this could be a great article if worked on. --NotAnEditor 21:03, 8 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Maybe if you had looked up the history, you would notice that this article is still being worked on. The thing is titled Corruption in Polaris. What else would you expect besides political commentary?  Yours Truly,   Explorer 767 ( DON'T MAKE LEMONADE! GET MAD!  )   v   •  [ e ]  21:07, 8 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Balance is key to any story, AG. Without this corrupt blackness, Polaris would be a holy/upright/flawless/glorious/sparkly/wonderful/paridise/glorious Mary Sue utopia. As for the Wikipedia links, if I didn't use them, no one would know what I was talking about ! The headers are made to keep my thoughts on tack. Each one isn't certain to get its own chapter, but I placed them there to keep my mind on track if I ever get the chance to resume this. Also, corruption is political by nature, and the purpose is to list its corruption (see the title). -- † TurtleShroom ™!  Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †     :)  :)    <keywords content="club penguin, CP, Club Penguin Wiki, Club Penguin Fanon Wiki, children's game wiki, rockhopper, aunt arctic, gary the gadget guy, yarr, elite penguin force, EPF, herbert, puffle, CPW, TurtleShroom, Explorer, fanon, Club Penguin Fan Fiction Wiki, fan fiction, CPFW, penguin, child-friendly, online writing, wiki, Swiss Ninja, XTUX, humor, funny, safe, secure, free, membership, Free Membership, MMOG, MMORPG, self-hosted, Arda, Bill Gate$, art website, EBUL, MIB, parody, parodies, club, penguin, clubpenguin, stories, free, membership, G, Wikia, penguins, Rocket Slug, Bill Gates, memes, meme, music, parodying, your mom, politics, dick cheney parodies, political parodies, Polaris, Mattress Village, censors, censor, censorship, TSP, TS, TurtleShroom Productions, board of censors, comedy, Club Penguin Wiki Network, what is this I don't even, ZoneSAMA, ZK, storytelling, CPFW, Anti-Wikia Alliance, TurtleShroom Productions Proudly Presents, Explorer 767, rated G, decency, waffle, waffles, pancake, pancakes, strudel, Str00del " />LIKE A BOSS    †           †        I JUST SHOT A DICK CHENEY WITH A GIANT LASER   CLICK FOR SPAM 

@Explorer:
 * 1) I know it's not finished. I'm commenting on the article as it is now, and making suggestions for it's future development. Nonetheless, fair point. I shouldn't expect it to be perfect at this stage.
 * 2) I meant real life political commentary, not in-universe!

@TurtleShroom:
 * 1) I appreciate that, but it still comes across as more of an attack on the principles behind said utopia rather than a counterbalance to the utopianism present. I'm sure this was far from intended, but it's the impression I'm getting. I was suggesting that this aspect should be toned down.
 * 2) I understand that you're using a lot of obscure technical terms, and want to be sure that readers understand you. But it does also add to the impression that this is aimed more at bringing down real-world positions than fictional ones. Again, I'm sure that's unintentional, but I personally (IMHO and all that) think it would help to try and minimize links to Wikipedia, and instead either avoid the terms if possible, or explain them in-article. I understand this is sometimes impossible, and that's fine. I'm just making suggestions, after all, I'm not exactly in a position to order you into anything (and even if I was, what would be the point? It's your article.)

NotAnEditor

16:35, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

This isn't supposed to be a commentary on RL politics; it's what happens when TS takes political corruption and exaggerates it as much as he possibly can. If TS wanted to write a political commentary, he probably would make it a bit more obvious. (I think.)

And explaining every single term is going to bloat the thing up so much that it's going to be hard to stay focused on the actual topic. We can't intersperse multi-paragraph explanations of things like riders and filibustering. Your suggestions are well-intentioned, but I don't think this is what we need for the article.  Yours Truly,   Explorer 767 ( DON'T MAKE LEMONADE! GET MAD!  )   v   <span title="No trivia today, folks. =\">•  [ <span title="Tweak if you dare!">e ]  18:43, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

I know he's not trying to write political commentary, I'm just worried that it sounds too much like commentary.

Also, how does it take multiple paragraphs to explain riders or filibustering?

"Politicians often include clauses ("riders") unrelated to the main purpose of the bill, intending to sneak extra laws past their opponents ."

"Some politicians make long, boring speeches, hoping that they can delay bills passing."

In fact, many of the sections explain the terms perfectly well anyway.

Still, I understand that some Wikipedia links will have to remain. I'm just suggesting they should be minimized.--NotAnEditor 21:17, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

Eventhough I'm more left leaning than my peers (Sancho is the sole exception), Liberalism does have it's flaws. -- Agent Johnson |  I'm Brit-ish and cause of that, I'm Liberal.  21:24, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

Your point being?--NotAnEditor 20:17, 10 May 2011 (UTC)

Conservatism has many flaws too. Don't insult liberalism if you don't do the same for conservatism, as in: You have to look at both sides.-- Sanchonachos Being Liberal Rocks!  21:34, 10 May 2011 (UTC)

Dude, this isn't a discussion of Liberals V Conservatives, it's a discussion of the ARTICLE.--NotAnEditor 21:34, 11 May 2011 (UTC)