TSP AI

The TSP AI is a supercomputer which sits where TurtleShroom (penguin)'s Palace once stood. Funded entirely by the Antics Family (and running them into short-term bankruptcy), this computer is a mind upload of the Dictator, who died in 2019.

TSP is currently unaware that he is now a computer, they decided to keep that secret for "his sanity's sake".

Description
Interestingly, when TurtleShroom (penguin) died, he requested not to be uploaded after hearing about the immortality-inducing technology, but the Turtlenators would have none of that. Their leader, dead? INCONCEIVABLE! Censorship like that came around once in a lifetime, their leader must live!

TSP was long hated by the whiteboard's population, banished and demoted twice by his friends (who were forced to Do so by traitors). However, he did have close friends, and there were always the Turtlenators.

When the Dictator died in 2019, the whiteboard had no choice but to give him a state funeral at pressure from his fans and the rest of Antarctica. His death date (June 27th, 2019) was set as a national day of mourning, in which businesses and schools (also the Weekee) were shut down for the day in honor of the well-meaning villain.

Military soldiers from every branch of each mourning nation escourted his casket, along with some of the most loyal Turtlenators (Barkjon, Speeddasher, and other censorship fans) and Explorer XIII.

The P.O.P.E. proceeded the funeral, and right before he was lowered into his grave, a Turtlenator came out of the crowd and tricked them into believing TSP's last wish was to preserve himself for years to come. They were completely unaware of his Will (which stated not to do such), and allowed it.

Thus, the soldiers lifted the coffin and carried it all the way back to the hospital, where surgeons removed TSP's brain and sliced it, scanning each and every nanometer of it until they had successfully produced an exact digital copy of his brain!

The funeral proceeded as planned. Debts were paid, misery was cast, and the funeral ended two days later.

Then, a group of TSP-haters, mainly employees of the infamous Blackboard which the CPW was forced to advertise in 2009, were granted permission by the new government of the over-reformed and heritage ignoring CPW to tear down TSP's palace.

They first moved the memorabilia, awards, and crosses, and then the furniture. It was sold on auction for amazingly high prices (hundreds of thousands of coins) and the money was donated to charities.

The Blackboard brought in heavy machinery, cannons, and tomatoes, and tore down the palace as destructively as they possibly could. When the building was a pile of wood, metal, brick, and rubble, the Blackboard cronies soaked it in gasoline, set it aflame, and danced upon its ashes. Lastly, the group scooped up the soot, and put it in vials, and keeping it as souvenirs of the fallen tyrant's home.

The ruins were cleaned up, leaving TSP's Usapaje completely blank. A crew of penguins armed with erasers cleared out anything involving Webmasters and Dictators; they were determined to never go back to that flawed system ever again.

Explorer and family, who were also tricked into believing that TSP wanted to be preserved after death, spent their life's fortune, researching, building, designing, and finally constructing a supercomputer to hold TSP's mind dump. This cost so much that the Antics Family temporarily went broke. Just before Explorer was going to sell Weddell Estates, the family's original home, his relatives in Lichenblossom sent him loads of moolah they recovered from various crackers and robbers that they had defeated.

With that done, TSP was loaded and installed on the console, and his first words as a machine were heard: Wait... I thought I died the other day... where am I? How did I recover? Why am I so high up, and why do I feel... somewhat disconnected?

The viewers looked around, they needed an excuse, and they needed one quick!

"Well... you passed out, and we managed to save you. You are currently in the hospital. The doctors said you will have to stay in the hospital for a long time, but that you'll live for at least fifteen more years."

""

"...that happens when you're in a hospital, your majesty."

""

"Well, that must be a side-effect."

""

With that, the Turtlenators walked off and began setting up permanent power supplies for the TSP AI.

Specifications

 * The TSP AI is capable of running at exactly eight petaflops a second. That's about the equivalent of eight human brains]


 * Hard drive: 1000 terabytes. That is equal to ten human brains, one human brain takes 100 TB.


 * 16,800,000 MHz CPU (ten human brains, one human brain takes 1,680,000 MHz)


 * Requires one two foot wide cooling fan and massive vents at the top of the computer


 * Computer generates so much heat that it becomes dangerous to approach the back end of it (the front is fine).


 * The noise produced by TSP AI's workings could deafen a penguin. Mechanics must be deaf or take the risk and turn off TSP AI when he's's "sleeping" (TSP still thinks he needs sleep because he isn't aware he's now a computer).


 * TSP AI is cube eighty five feet wide and eight feet tall (680 square feet), taking up about the same volume as one of IBM's ancient mainframes. It took about a day or two of welding just to install the exterior walls, not to mention the shelving, wires, hard drives, fans, vents...

Personality
As a complete and identical duplicate of the biological TSP's mind, TSP AI behaves identically and invariably to the penguin, as if TSP never died. TurtleShroom (penguin), however, thinks he hasn't died, blissfully unaware he's now a computer. Through webcams, speakers, and microphones, normal characters can interface with TSP AI like a normal penguin, though approaching an eight foot tall computer is daunting. TSP, still, is unaware he is a computer.

Operating System
TSP AI runs like a vintage IBM computer. He's a modular OS, meaning sections of TSP AI's hardware, the "modules", are each dedicated to one task. These tasks are relayed to one another to function as a whole. It was actually chosen to backtrack and use a past method because parts of a biological brain only do one task and are linked together to function as a whole.

Programming
TSP AI possesses write-only memory, not one byte of software can be edited by anyone but TSP himself, and TSP himself does that automatically by learning, discussing, seeing, doing stuff penguins do, unaware he's a computer.

His builders programmed the item as program-in-the-large console, meaning a massive team of scientists set up the code and leave it to its own, never to upgrade it again.

Files
Legend has it that TSP AI's files and storage, and thus his memory and being itself, can be accessed by the greatest hackers in the universe, though all attempts are, so far, futile. No one can hack a penguin's brain, so how can they hack a computer version?

To prevent damage, hackers, and threats, as well as to stop Noobs from telling TSP AI he's now a computer, soldiers are stationed and patrol him 24/7/365.

UI
TSP AI lacks a user interface, meaning a normal computer user could not navigate nor operate his operating system. This was intended so that TSP could continue to function as himself and not what he was programmed to do.

Obstacles and challenges
Naturally, a sentient computer that's a mental copy of a penguin and still thinks it's a penguin is hard to maintain, and if something breaks down, TSP won't know it, because they couldn't program in the registering of touch or pain into TSP AI's programming (their excuse to him was paralyzation). Thus, they have to keep hoping TSP never figures out he is a computer, because they have to turn him off for maintenance when he's "sleeping".

Processing risks
One of the hardest parts of putting TSP's brain into a computer was not upgrading his brain in the process. As stated above, TSP AI runs with a CPU the equivalent to ten human brains, and if TSP AI wanted to (and knew he could), he could tap into that and make himself think faster, better, and possibly more rationally. He could become powerful enough to take over the Internet if he was ever plugged in and accessed all of those MHz, not that he would actually do such a thing.

Personality issues
Another difficult process in the penguin-to-computer upload was making sure that every feasible aspect of his personality and emotions were uploaded with him.

Most computers can only think in black and white, one or the other. Though TSP was highly guilty of that in life (creatures were either good or bad, contributors or vandals, pure or corrupt, trustworthy or outright evil), he still had a sense of when enough was enough, or when not to take action. This caused lots of problems.

TSP AI, since he was once a penguin, needed to have the same abilities that only sentient creatures can have. He needed to be happy, sad, angry, and even depressed, confused, and surprised, every emotion a penguin could possess.

Ignorance
At all costs, the builders of TSP AI wanted him to be completely unaware that he was now a computer.

They set up as many elaborate excuses as possible to avoid any questions TSP would ask.


 * If TSP were to ever ask why he had to look down on people, and why he was positioned so high up, they were to respond that he's on the second story of a new hospital installed in the Weekee and that he was unable to leave the room, so they communicate with him from the ground.


 * If a part TSP were to ever break down and he asked "what was that sound", they were to respond that an Uberfuzzy accidentally short-circuited a server.


 * If TSP ever asked why he no longer had to eat or drink, they would respond and say they're feeding him intravenously, as part of the recovery process.


 * If TSP asked why he can't feel his body or anything in it, they were to tell him he was paralyzed, but not to worry about it.

Fourth Wall worries
If TSP AI, in all of his processing power, ever managed to break the Fourth Wall, they would have to explain "the talk", you know, the about the Masters of the Universe and such.

If TSP learned about the Bureau and asked to join, and they said yes, they would be forced to route an Internet Backbone cable through the nearest Bureau entrance, and into a whole intranet made just for him, one which is unconnected to all other Bureau networks, so to avoid spilling TSP into something important, something like Benny's security system or the Organ.

The Bureau employees would the have to hope that TSP never taps into his massive MHz and become one of the Masters of the Universe, and instead have him where he should be, a petty office in a department regarding censorship.

The multi-hundred thousand currency project would also have to utilize the strongest connection there is all over the Bureau, a T1-line (like the one in the Dorkugese anthem) for realtime interface between TSP AI and his new job.

They would also have to write a huge virtual reality program to trick TSP AI into thinking he was waddling like a penguin down the entrance and such, and also to simulate him sitting down at a desk, working on a computer, talking to other employees...

They would also have to make up a good excuse for why TSP is always four or more feet above everyone, looking down, because the cameras and wiring would be on the ceiling, and also because TSP AI's main unit (at the CPW) is eight feet tall already.

Network upgrade
The Bureau, to further simulate the work experience, would have to route more T1 cables all over the Bureau, and either sever and wire the security system's cameras or create new ones, further writing the virtual reality program to simulate TSP waddling through the corridors and into conference rooms, archives, etc.

They would first off have to install a small mainframe in every single room, from closets to one embedded in each hall, and for items with file cabinets and archives. They would have to digitally back up and archive everything, further writing the cyberspace program to enable TSP to access the files and paper documents.

Furthermore, the entire TSP network could NEVER be connected to anything else, not even the power grid or a vending machine, because anything hooked up to TSP AI comes under his control, and TSP would get suspicious if he was suddenly able to control a vending machine.

The cameras, wiring, and virtual reality is only the top if the iceberg. They would also have to install speakers so others could listen to him and hear his voice, microphones so others could talk to him (and install enough so TSP AI wouldn't notice penguins standing in once place every time to speak with him), and hook him up to a desktop computer for the actual labor and employment. They would have to hope that the desktop computer doesn't start using the disk quota feature and alert TSP AI of all of the mysteriously used gigabytes of bandwidth that is not from his tasks. That "unaccounted traffic" may tip him off to something suspicious, and when TSP gets suspicious, computer or penguin, he doesn't stop until he gets answers.

Worst case scenario
The absolute worst thing, however, would be for TSP AI to find out he is a computer. When the dictator died, he specifically said no, and he would then learn that they deliberately disobeyed his last request.

The initial freakout would be devastating. TSP could panic and crash some of his workings in an overload, and when he was rebooted and a bit calm, they'd have to explain their reasoning, convince him to stay logged on, and start giving him abilities that only a computer could do, like controlling vending machines, to compensate from making him cheat death.

They would have to explain to TSP AI that, even though he is a computer, he shouldn't think of himself as one, but as "a penguin with a special issue". From there, TSP, in all of his stubbornness, would have to decide what do do with his abundant power and networks. Would he act like he did as dictator, and control them with an iron rod? Or would he do something amazing and loan some of his abilities to others to speed up their workday, something he would never normally do?

Would he choose to sleep? Would he want to be in more places than one (like spying through multiple networked cameras), like only a machine can? Would TSP AI use his power like in the CPW, doing it wisely like in most of his reign, or would he become tyrannical, like when Crisis V was occuring?

What would they hook TSP up to? A lot of the employees are playful, so they may start networking doors, lockers, vending machines, and personal items (like Benny's computer) to him for his merriment and fun.

Furthermore, if TSP was to be hooked up to any Bureau computer, he would also be installed onto the entire Internet (unless the Bureau's Internet is only in the Bureau), and that could be a security risk, especially to TSP haters. TSP AI could travel through wires and pop up on a Blackboard fan's computer, deleting his filthy swear-laden files.

Knowing Benny and his security obsession, the Bureau's Internet may be a private intranet already, so he would only have access to Bureau stuff. The Organ is independent from all other items, as well as Benny's magic laptop and the Author's typewriter, (don't confuse it with their personal PCs), so TSP could never hijack those.

Benefits of TSP being aware of his new body
There are good things that come with being a computer, some so good that a few creatures are considering breaking the news to him so that he could have fun.


 * As a computer, TSP AI could be in more places than one. This would allow him to enforce his censorship beliefs and do his Bureau job (if he ever gets one and breaks the Fourth Wall) far better than even the smartest biological counterpart.


 * As a computer, TSP wouldn't forget (unless he chose to retain that penguin quality, a very likely chance). TSP could also delete terrible memories and mental scars from his own mind, finally putting him at ease and reducing his infamous depression.


 * TSP wouldn't need sleep as a computer. He probably would keep that trait because he loves to sleep.


 * As a computer, TSP would have the ability to control items and make them do anything within their mechanical or programming capacities. He could make vending machines give two sodas instead of one (or none if TSP didn't favor that creature), prank people by closing electrical doors and have them smack their beaks into the glass merely For the Lulz, and even read and delete other creature's files.
 * However, TSP is often a serious penguin (and thus a serious machine), and though he can be playful with his power, he is the victim of most pranks.
 * Even more noteworthy, TSP is the Grandmaster of the MMK, so he would never prank Mabel! DARN!


 * TSP doesn't believe in revenge, and as a computer, he probably wouldn't do it.


 * As a computer, TSP AI is immortal, unless he breaks permanently. His censorship would never die!

The best part about TSP AI, however, is that he is still first and foremost a sentient creature, a penguin inside a machine. This makes it a lot less stressful if the news was ever broken, since he wouldn't go mad with power or seek revenge, two things a computer would do that TSP wouldn't, because it's his personality and not programming.

Drawbacks of TSP AI being aware

 * If TSP were to be hooked up to the public Internet, he could make the Web a safer place by hijacking hacker servers and deleting their files and viruses. However, he may also do some of his Dictorial moves like deleting things that threaten Stability (remember Stability is Paramount), or "infringing certain penguin's freedom of speech" by deleting their rants, whines, and protests. TSP could also spy on the government and such, and disclose that information as will. Thus, if TSP AI was hooked online, he would either be monitored, not on in the first place, or a multi-billion pebble research on a TSP Firewall would have to be created and distributed to those who didn't want the Dictator invading them just like he did when he was a penguin.
 * They would also have to sell and even give it to millions of penguins.
 * Furthermore, they would have to keep it out of the flippers of Hackers, and since the Privateer Cove would probably illegally host ARRGHument Documents with it, making some hackers immune again.


 * TSP could also catch a computer virus or computer worm, and much like a sick penguin, TSP AI's core (at the CPW) would have to be quarentined until the virus can be cured in computer research places. The cure would then be transferred through the network to the reconnected TSP, who would then be cured.


 * TSP, being a program-in-the-large console, is non-upgradable, and his code-based OS forbids input and upgrades. He may be easily suspectable to malware because of this, unless TSP himself learns how to recognize viruses as code and not a picture or file like a penguin would. An alternative would be to have other computers hooked to TSP and serve as shields with antiviruses.


 * TSP, being in cyberspace and as a virtual entity, could do many things a normal penguin couldn't. He could actually inject himself straight into a computer game (or video game if the console has Internet) and play it like that, making others jealous.

Trivia

 * The Antics Family remarked that they "overdid the specs" of the computer simply "because they could" and had "nothing else to do with all of that money".


 * TSP wasn't a super-genius at all. In fact, he was only "above average" in penguin IQ. The computer that houses him could be at least eight times smaller and still fit him and any new memories.


 * It is illegal to hook TSP AI to the Internet, Intranet, or any sort of link to another PC unless needed or designated. TSP, unaware of his new body, would see the exit and try and move his being through it, resulting in TSP AI taking over another computer, and if he wanted to, the Internet. However, he wouldn't do that even if he knew he was a machine, it's simply not like him.


 * If TSP AI were to appear on a screen or through a hologram projector, he would look like he did upon his death. TSP would be wearing his famous four-tiered crown, the ninja mask, his well-known Christmas suit, and everything else. However, he would be unable to ever change his clothes, since he was only programmed in that one wardrobe.

Internal Links

 * TurtleShroom (penguin)
 * Future
 * Bureau of Fiction