Mister Jones' Rap

Mister Jones' Rap, also called the "Pallet Rave", and known widely for its bonus track, a single by DJ Crow called Codacil, is a Terrain grime and dubstep song penned by TurtleShroom and the teenagers administrating the Mattress Village Board of Raters. Who said Mattress Village wasn't "cool"? To aid in the song, DJ Crow and the teenagers of the MVBR performed the speedy rap parts that old TurtleShroom couldn't do, and are credited as featured performers in the song. The song was written by TurtleShroom and the MVBR. DJ Crow produced the song.

"Mister Jones' Rap" was expected to be released as a single but never happened. It did manage to enter the Top 40 of many charts - becoming TurtleShroom and Friends first official entry on the national charts. ("Mister Jones' Rap" reached #40 on the USA chart.) The rap released on May 26, 2011 for digital download. Per Unoian tradition, it was also released on cassette tape and vinyl record.

A second, bonus track called Codacil was released alongside the rap by DJ Crow. It was produiced when DJ Crow asked TurtleShroom if he could make his own, separate version of his part. TurtleShroom, grateful to Crow, accepted. The bonus track, titled Codacil (an old-timey word for an amendment to a will/estate), included a short solo of DJ Crow with more modern lyrics, to exhibit his unique talants at rapping, independently of TurtleShroom's work and simpler lyrics. It ended up outselling the real "Mister Jones' Rap". DJ Crow's bonus track came as a bonus in the digital download, and was the B-side track on the cassettes and records.

Initial version
 TURTLESHROOM:  See, what some penguins don't realize, is that, you can't stereotype us censors as, an evil group. We do it because we want to protect you all. For you, chicks, me, cities, friends, this country, you name it, we're there for you. It matters not to me if you don't think clean is "hot", we're 'gone clean it! We are here for your purity. Bottom line! There is a whole lot of smut out there, so we have got to keep crushing it. You know, censor like Hays Office.

 DJ CROW:  Cover your eyes! Unplug that PC! Call in the guys So they can go wild and they can Clean clean clean clean!

We clean and suppress identity Why, express yourself When it's so un-hoe-lie? Dress proper! (Clean clean clean clean!)

Here we go now! Crushing evil ideas! Clean it up! To the filth in the back Clean it up!

Then we'll run out of the party get the drunks Trying to get away as they drink that purple stuff! I swear crime's too much 'Cause there's never enough They draw on the floor We clean it up -and lookie there They also viewed crap online!

 TURTLESHROOM:  We are censors! We suppress evil ideas! -and no we will not go stop There's some things to know not! For we are censors! Censors! Censors! Censors, censors!

Oh there's filth in your browser So we clean it like Hays Office!

 MVRB Rater:  Cleaner than a fallow with fresh snow in winter, and you 'gotta understand not all's meant to Chitter, with curses back to back, that's 'gonna fall 'fore the law as obscene flat, we're not 'gonna stop there's exceptions and things to hide crush and take a chance, protect your minds... (Clean clean clean clean!) Cleaning stuff that'd make you nauseous, don't even ask 'bout the octopuses[sic], be cautious and more than often, the tale'd be good without filth that's common, there on the Web's often unnatural sites you'll never sleep if you saw some of that so, we folks get scarred but make this stop, it shouldn't exist, GREAT SCOT!

  TURTLESHROOM:  We are censors! We are protectin' your chicks! -and no we will not go stop There's some things to know not!

We are censors! Censors! Censors! Censors, censors!

Oh there's filth in your browser So we clean it like Hays Office!

We are censors, We are as stubborn as rocks, Be it in song, site, dance, word or not, It don't matter or not!

For we are censors! Censors! Censors! Censors, censors!

Oh there's filth in your browser So we clean it like Hays Office!

Be it in song, site, dance, word or not, It don't matter or not!

Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean!

 EVERYONE:  Call in the guys So they can go wild and they can Clean clean clean clean!

If you've got a filthy fetish then we'll Clean clean clean clean! If you even think of swearing then we'll Clean clean clean clean! JUST CLEAN! Clean clean clean clean!

We are censors! We are protectin' your chicks! -and no we will not go stop There's some things to know not!

-and we are (clean) That's right (clean) That's right Censors! Censors!

  TURTLESHROOM:  It's all for your protection, So we clean it like Hays Office!

We are censors! We suppress evil ideas! -and no we will not go stop There's some things to know not! For we are censors! Censors! Censors! Censors, censors!

Oh there's filth in your browser So we clean it like Hays Office!

{Instrumental whines down.} $$Fin$$

DJ Crow's bonus track (Codacil)


DJ Crow agreed to perform the song as TurtleShroom wrote it, but on the condition that he record a second, bonus track to be released with the CD. TurtleShroom agreed. Titled Codicil, it eventually outsold the actual song.

(DJ Crow's lyrics were actually considered to be in the actual song, but they didn't sync properly with the music.)

 DJ CROW: </tt> We're gonna get clean, so cover your eyes The choices to roll are all clean so don't make me throw that dice Unplug that PC! Call in the guys So they can go wild, bet'cha didn't revise! (Clean clean clean clean!)

We clean and suppress identity Why, express yourself - with no obscenity? When it's so un-hoe-lee... ... why mess with me? I'm the gahh-goalie! (allow it fam!) So dress proper If you don't wanna get high like Rockhopper Understand... that my barz go harder Cleanliness will punch you in the beak, like a b-b-b-b-boxer (Clean clean clean clean!)

Here we go now! Crushing evil ideas! Let's go rob the Pizza Parlour and set up our own pizzeria (Clean it up!) To the filth in the back, bruv are you saying cleans' moist? Who you do think you are? Mr Trimmer Joist? (Clean it up!)

Then we'll run out of the party, and get the drunks Trying to get away as they drink that purple stuff! I swear crime's too much 'Cause there's never enough They draw on the floor We clean it up And lookie there They also viewed crap online! I'm gonna make sure the cleanliness goes into the negatives. Minus sign. Then gonna make this clean (iisssh) go from moist to hard. Refine. Cleanliness will invade the world It'll curl, hurl, swirl, twirl and whirl - what a glitch Until I say so. So just shut up before I switch.

Trivia

 * The speedy parts of the song are sung by members of the Mattress Village Board of Raters, since TS can't rap.
 * DJ Crow's bonus track outsold the real song.