Xet on It

The activity performed by Midas and Herb on July 30th, 2010, addressed by the BOF Midas and Herb's Chronicles of Xet: Episode, Xet on It, is a sprawling and insanely amusing event that forges unlikely allies, bribes strange characters, and nearly sends the ship of heads of state of Planet Z on a crash course with the earth!

Witness, if you dare, the unnatural alliances made by a psychotic babysitter and a legally-blind ufologist, bribery handed off by a penguin that's OBVIOUSLY an alien, and of course, music and the item vanishing! Hang on to the edge of your seat, because this is going to be one satellite dish building, ship hijacking, Resisty-referencing, Sye driving, Perry fighting, gold bribing, alien busting, Rocket Slug visiting, cane carrying, head of state near-arriving jamboree!

...-and it begins... right now!

Chapter One: We Have to Do SOMETHING Today...

 * Midas and Herb's Igloo, West Tri-State Lane, Club Penguin

Midas and Herb sat under the tree behind their igloo on West Tri-State Lane, bored out of their minds. They had, for the time being, exhausted their ideas, and honestly just wanted to sink into the ground out of boredom. Nothing sounded fun or even remotely amusing at the moment, so their next best course of action was to just... sit and waste the day away.

Their mother, Miss Aurumen, came outside, glancing down at the two boys inquisitively. "Midas, Herb... what's wrong?"

"WE'RE SSSOOOOOOOO BORED," Midas replied with a groan.

"Well... there's plenty to do today. This isn't really like you."

"I know, Mom, but I simply can not think of anything to do."

"Hmm... that's a shame. Fortunately, I think I know just what will fix that. Your father and I are going down to South Pole City for the jeweler's convention, and then we'll be at Taste of the South Pole for the rest of the day. If you'd like, you can tag along and explore the city while we attend the events!"

Midas got up, immediately feeling invigorated. "That would be great! What say you, Herb?"

Herb nodded.

"Then it's settled!" Miss Aurumen announced. "Into the car, everyone!"

"Wait, Mom, I don't think it's safe for us to be wondering around alone in the big city. Don't you think that Canren should tag along while you guys are at the convention?"

"That's a great idea, Midas. I'll call her right away."

The boys nodded as she contacted Canren, who arrived almost instantly and hopped in the car next to them. "I've got my eyes on you today," she growled.

The family and babysitter traveled to a city off of Club Penguin and hitched a ride on Club Penguin AirFlights to the Capital of the United States of Antarctica. As the airplane made its way to the capitol, Midas and Herb happened to be watching an in-flight documentary. It was talking about aliens and The Stage, and whether not such things were true.

"The big question here is 'are we alone?'. Is someone out there, contacting us, or are they silent? If we are not alone, how many other realms of life are out there? Could there be entire civilizations? Perhaps, but perhaps not."

The plane continued as the boys watched the movie. Canren fell asleep.

"Through all the evidence we have shown, there is certainly not a presence of intelligent life. However, not everyone agrees with the conclusion made by most of the scientific community."

The video played onwards, and the boys' interest was piqued as the documentary showed a strange, dark-colored penguin - a stark contrast towards the bright and cheery background he was at - sitting on a park bench, as documentaries so often depict.

"Sye Grimom, lifetime paranormal expert and son of the famous bagel chef, Doctor Layer, claims otherwise," the narrator said.

"To find aliens, you simply need to know where to look," the on-screen penguin explained. "In fact, I have evidence to believe that there are aliens right here, right now." Sye reached into his player card and pulled out a portrait of an oddly green penguin. "This 'penguin', for example, lacks the traditional white chest patch that you our I both don, as penguins. See how his beak is green and his wig is extremely strange? These are telltale signs of the oncoming alien armada. This alien here is 'a special invader' sent by- hey, HEY! Don't take the camera away, I'm not -kkzzzzzt-!"

The documentary changed to footage of an even darker looking penguin, a purple-haired video game-playing Gothguin with black boots and a dress with a skull. Her eyes seemed to be at least partially closed, as she was feverishly mashing the buttons of her game and refusing to look at the camera.

"Veranda Grimom, Sye's brother, seems to concur with him."

"Aliens? Yeah, they're out there," the penguin stated flatly, not looking up from her game.

"Anything else to add, ma'am?"

"No."

"Would you mind looking up from that game for the audience?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Mpht." Veranda scoffed.

"We now turn to Penguin Micro, who establishes a different kind of alien, one that governs our minds-"

The television turned off as the plane's PA announced their arrival. They were there. The plane slammed into the ground, knocking everyone on board off their seats.

South Pole City International Airport

"Now arriving at South Pole City International Airport. We hope you have had a safe landing. Remember that you can't sue us for the poor landing; you signed a waiver. Thank you for riding with us and have a glorious day!"

"Finally! We're here!" Miss Aurumen stated, stretching as she stood up. Mister Tacet quietly held onto her flipper as they, the boys, and Canren exited the plane. "Your father and I are off for the jewelers. Here is all the coins you'll need to explore the city, and if you need anything, we're just a phone call away. Canren, make sure the boys don't get into danger or mischief. If you need me, you know my number."

Midas produced a document and handed it to the woman. "Mom, I need you to sign this paper authorizing us to build new infrastructure for the city."

Miss Aurumen chuckled and rubbed Midas' hair. She took the clipboard, the paper, and the crayon, and signed the consent form. "Your imaginations will be of great benefit to your future life. Never let it die out."

With that, Miss Aurumen and Mister Tacet hopped in a taxi as the brothers waved goodbye. Canren, however, continued glaring at the two.

"I repeat: I'm watching you!" she announced, beginning her march into the city. "This is the day you WILL get caught!"

Midas and Herb ignored her, glancing down at a map of South Pole City.

"Well, since we really don't have any idea on what to do today, maybe we should just meet people?" Midas suggested. "Herb, who has moved here recently?"

Herb held up a portrait of Xet and about ten other random penguins.

"Hey! Didn't we see that green guy in the documentary?"

Herb nodded.

"Well, why not meet him? If he IS an alien, who know what he could teach our world? ...-and, if not, we'll always have something to build for him. Come on Canren, we've got things to do!"

The boys and Canren called for a taxi, bound for a small neighborhood in the downtown area- Resisty Circle -not far from the South Pole Capitol.

Chapter Two: Confides from Outer Space

 * Xet's Base, Resisty Circle, South Pole City

Deep in the confines of an evil house-shaped laboratory, a strange green bird-like creature was sitting on a chair. Right at his feet was what seemed to be a compact robotic vacuum.

"Vam, every minute we sit here, those foolish penguins remain free from the yoke of the Zitizen Empire," he monologued. "You and I both know that to prove to the Blessed Thinnest just how excellent we are, we must conquer this puny, lava-hating world."

"I like this game!" Vam replied, wheeling around in circles.

"VAM! Pay attention, this is IMPORTANT!"

Vam screeched to a halt. "Oh. Sorry Xet!"

"Okay. Now..."

Vam scooted off, clearly not listening. Xet rubbed his temples and sighed as he went back to his work, compiling data about penguins. Suddenly, the computer alerted him to an guest outside.

Xet waved away the computer. "Send the parental mechanisms to greet them. Make sure they think we're normal."

Midas and Herb stood at the door to Xet's strange house. A crack went straight from its top to its bottom, and it was painted what seemed to be a dark maroon. It was as if this house was assembled together by some factory builder who refused to weld it together.

It didn't seem natural. Every other residence in this small neighborhood was an equally dim, ramshackle igloo, and behind all of the poorly-built igloos, towering skyscrapers of South Pole City cast huge shadows over the entire neighborhood, giving an ominous dimming of the sunlight over the entire neighborhood. A chilly wind lightly blew, causing the boys to shiver. They rang the doorbell several times, each time hearing a Moo Penguin make its familiar mooing bellow.

The purple, wooden door creaked open and two extremely creepy, mechanized robots appeared. One was supposedly a male adult penguin, and the other a female.

Midas and Herb looked at each other and then back at the robots.

"Well..." Midas remarked, "Seems as though he's trying to develop a sort of robot thing to protect his house. I guess this one - " Midas said, pointing to the father robot that was currently chewing on the threshold of the door, "- represents the father, and this one - " gesturing to the mother robot that was repeatedly saying 'Meap Meap Meap' while stretching its claw-tipped flippers up and down, "-represents the mother... Creepy."

the father robot exclaimed.

Midas looked at Herb and back at the robotic parents, both brothers extremely creeped out.

"...so... he's an orphan trying to design parental figures? Sort of sad, but not so much as it is creepy."

Midas just stared. Then, he regained his composure, remembering what had brought him and Herb here in the first place. "We're looking for Xet-"

The mother robot placed one of her arms on Midas' beak.

The father robot chimed in.

Midas frowned, glancing down at his clothes. "It's... a robe, ma'am."

Herb snickered a bit and covered his mouth with his flipper. The robot mother grabbed Herb and randomly lifted him up in the air, about to throw him.

The father also chimed in.

Herb just remained completely calm and stoic as the robo-mother held him up. He wiggled his flipper free and struggled to reach the robot's neck. He managed to grab it, and gave a hard tug. The robot's poorly built neck joints snapped, and the circuitry went offline. It fell to the ground as Midas looked on in awe of his step-brother. The robotic father ran back in and shut the door.

Canren, who had watched the whole thing from behind an upside-down lawn gnome at the sidewalk, was trembling. Still, she overcame it as she suddenly became defensive of her entrusted penguins.

She waddled up to the doorstep and pushed Midas and Herb aside, banging on the door. "HEY! You bucket of bolts; I want to have a word with you!"

The door opened and the father robot reappeared. Canren whacked his head off with a purse she had pulled out of her player card. He fell to the ground, too.

"Thanks, Canren," Midas remarked, as Herb nodded. The door remained wide open.


 * The Grimom Residence, Sye's Room

Sye, meanwhile, was working on some sort of little doodad, wearing a pair of earphones to monitor the sounds near Xet's base. Veranda was sitting on a chair nearby, playing her Snowtendo DS. Sye perked up as he heard the struggles and clanging between Midas, Herb, Canren, and the robotic parent machines.

"They... they took them out! Wow! Veranda, come here and listen to this!"

Veranda didn't look up from her game.

"Ah, never mind." Sye turned back to the machine, completing it. He got off the chair and held it up proudly, like his father would after he succeeded in making an invention (or a bagel).

"Finally!" Sye rejoiced, "I've finally completed the bug I need to hack into Xet's computer!"

Veranda breathed loudly. Sye turned to Veranda.

"Veranda, do you not see the significance of this?"

Veranda was silent. Sye sighed and took the game console from her.

"Veranda, this is import... import... im-"

Veranda looked up and cast the most horrid glare of anger Sye had ever seen.

Sye gulped, quickly placing the game back in front of her. "Oh.... uh, sorry, sis. Here you go... -and I'll, uh, do your homework for a week!"

Veranda nodded, took the game, and once again was staring at it, concentrating.

Sye waddled out, saying goodbye to his father, as he headed out to Xet's base to plant the bug. As he was about to enter the bounds of Xet's property, someone out of nowhere chucked a tomato at him. Sye turned and scowled at the kid, a really annoying one who always screamed.

"FOUR EYES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY? FINDING A YETI?"

Sye growled to himself and ignored it, slapping the tomato off the side of his face. However, the penguin had some goons that came and crowded around Sye, beginning to beat him up. Canren saw this and ran over, picking up Sye (emperor penguins are much larger and stronger than Adelie penguins) and running off.

"Thanks," Sye said, gratefully, not even minding how quickly she was running or where she was going. All he knew was that he was in a bridal carry, in the arms of some mysterious stranger.

Chapter Three: Voyager, the Hideous New Scheme
Midas and Herb, meanwhile, decided to let themselves into Xet's "house". They opened up the door and were astonished by the ugly furniture, peeling wallpaper, and dirty floor.

Xet was quickly alerted to the intruders, hopping into his lab's elevator. "Vam, stay here while I go up and stop these INTRUDERS myself. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"

"Standing still is FUN!"

"That's good, Vam."

Xet's elevator took him up to the cabinet of the "kitchen" sink. Pushing the door open, he saw Midas and Herb in the living room.

''Okay, Xet. It's just some stupid penguins. Remember: you're one of them,'' Xet thought on his march to greet them.

"HELLO PENGUINS!" Xet shouted, "My name is Xet and I am a penguin, like you!"

"Hi Xet. My name is Midas and this is Herb. We just wanted to welcome you to South Pole City."

"I noticed that you took out my obviously real parents. How sad! That's not how penguins, like you and me, behave!" Xet stated, continuing his ruse.

"Xet, we know those aren't your parents."

"Nonsense!"

"Xet. They're robots." Midas said, flatly.

"No!"

"Fine. However, you seem to be an avid inventor. What exactly is your aim?"

"My aim? My aim, penguin, is obviously to CONQUER THIS WORLD FOR PLANET- uhh... I mean, I don't have any special aim... my aim is to live a normal, productive life, like any NORMAL penguin!"

Midas was confused, but went along with it anyway. Maybe this guy was a theater kid practicing a monologue? "Well... we love building stuff, too. It's fun. You seem to be into it, but I think you could use some help. We're very good at technology and most anything you can think of, so just name it and we'll help. We have all day!"

Xet turned his back to Midas and Herb as he began talking to himself. "Hmm, these foolish penguins may make excellent pawns for my EVIL plan! Why, with their technology, I bet I can stage an invasion here for my leaders!"

"THAT'S IT!" Xet announced. "Fellow penguins- like me -I can use your help. You see... I have much passion for..." he looked around the house, finally settling his eyes on a familiar black box with antennae. "TELEVISION. Yes, the primitive box that has moving pictures in it."

"You want a TV show?"

"No! I want a BIG SATELLITE DISH."

Midas laughed. "Oh please, we could do that in our sleep. So, what kind? C-band? Multi? Ku-band? Big and Ugly?"

Xet thought for a moment. "X-BAND! When I was coming to this puny- I mean, when I was looking through a telescope, I saw a pathetic little alien probe headed out of your- our solar system."

"Let me guess," Midas stated, "that little one that went down the solar system through the termination shock and is apparently in the direction of Planet X."

"YES THAT'S THE ONE!"

"Yeah, I figured. This strange penguin with a propeller cap told us about it."

"EXCELLENT! So..." Xet began, "Do you think you can build a satellite dish that can contact the thing AND use said thing to beam further items deeper into space?"

"Oh, yes. I see you're interested in contacting aliens?"

"ALIENS?" Xet erupted into laughter. His ruse was working! "No, I am a penguin just like you! There is nothing in the stars but penguins. I just want to send signals, that is all."

Herb leaned over a bit to see Vam moving trying to climb into a dirty armchair and falling inside instead. Midas looked, too. "Cool! Is that one of those new compact robot vacuums? Mom's always wanted one of those."

"Hey XET XET XET XET XET XET XET XET XET XET XET XET XET XET!" Vam began screaming, startling the two boys.

"What?" Xet responded, unfazed.

"I'M A CHAIR."

Xet slapped his "flipper" upon his "beak".

"Come on Xet, we're burning daylight!" Midas announced. "Herb, I KNOW WHAT WE'RE 'GONNA DO TODAY!"

Chapter Four: It's a Slug, Slug World
"Phineas... I'm out... out of... breath," Rocket Slug said whilst she tried to breathe. "All that... running. Heard Xet... was here..."

Phin glanced up, seemingly not out of breath at all. "Yes, but all that running is good for our buns and thighs, right?" he remarked with a cheesy grin.

"Why couldn't we have taken a plane here or a taxi or even our skateboards?" asked RS, feeling herself catch her breath in front of a dark maroon house. "And NO."

All of a sudden, she glanced up. "Phin! We made it to Xet's!" She excitedly banged her fist on the door several times, rang the doorbell for a while, and considered bashing the door with a hammer from Phineas' toolbox, but no response.

Xet, meanwhile, was still speaking with Midas and Herb. He decided to ignore the knocking and continued with the plan, as Midas nodded.

"Yes, we can certainly do that."

Midas extended his flipper to shake with Xet's, as he stood onward.

"...what am I supposed to do, penguin?"

Midas paused. "It's called a handshake. I mean, we don't have hands, but yeah, it's called that. You don't know what a handshake is?"

"No."

Midas decided to help him. He took Xet's "flipper" and shook it, not noticing that Xet had thumbs. "Okay. Let's go!"

The team went out the back door of Xet's home to begin construction of the satellite.

Rocket Slug stood outside the door, continuing her routine of door-knocking and doorbell-ringing and gazing through the peephole. "HEY! HEY! Anyone in there?"

"They must be gone," Phin finally stated. "We'd better go find them."

"MORE RUNNING?"

"Yep."

"UGH!"

Canren, meanwhile, was still speaking to Sye as he was shivering in fear from those who had clobbered him. He had yet to regain his composure. Canren found the small, dark little penguin rather adorable, as she always did have a soft spot for nerds. She placed a flipper on his back and rubbed him gently, trying to calm him down. "Don't worry, I think they're all gone."

Sye relaxed a bit. "Yeah. I think they are. Again, thanks for saving me back there."

"Don't mention it."

Sye smiled and reached for his cane, using it to pull himself up. "Well, I guess I'd better introduce myself. The name's Sye Grimom."

"Canren Sermunculli."

The two shook flippers and smiled. They were short of words, especially Sye, who found Canren to be quite attractive.

"Well, I guess I'd better be going, then!" Sye nodded as he walked off.

However, before he could go far, the two heard some familiar voices in the distance.

"Come on Herb, that steel isn't going to move itself!"

"Vam! Guard the base- house while I'm away!"

"Okey-dokey!"

Sye growled to himself. "Xet..."

Canren scowled, too. "Midas... Herb..."

The two turned back to face each other, noting the similarities in their reactions to these voices. Sye turned back and continued to walk. It was then, of course, that another bully burst out of a bush near the sidewalk, wearing a Zeus the Moose head from the Team Red vs. Team Blue stage productions.

Sye screamed to high heaven as the bully laughed. He- like everyone else -knew Sye was absolutely terrified of moose. Just to torture him further, the moose-donning penguin pulled out some walnuts and placed them in his beak, crunching them loudly (even though penguins didn't need to chew), causing Sye to fall to the floor, gripping where his ears would be in pain. Supposedly, he was very sensitive to the sound of crunching.

"Stop! Please, STOP! No, NO! THE MOOSE! PLEASE, STOP THE MOOSE!" Sye shouted, sobbing hysterically and curling up as much as he could. He continued to shiver at the horror of a moose penguin eating nuts.

Canren glared and pushed Sye aside, telling him to make room. She grabbed the bully by the collar of his shirt and cast him a serious glare. "Is THIS how you have fun?" Canren asked, seething with anger. "Picking on a poor chick by dressing as his worst fear and harming his sensitive hearing? The kid's practically BLIND. BLIND, punk, BLIND. As if picking on the helpless isn't bad enough, here you are bullying the disabled! What else do you do for fun? Pickpocket old people? Take advantage of those who give money to the poor? Steal Christmas presents?"

Canren tore the bully's moose head off and pointed her flipper in his face.

"You are sick. You are evil, you are low, villainous, disgusting... no girl will ever like you. So go away and crawl back into the sewer you pulled yourself out of! Get out of here, SCRAM!"

The bully stepped back and ran off. Canren picked Sye up and carried him to a safer place, again rubbing his back to calm him down. She may be crazy, but she still cared for chicks. It was why she became a babysitter, after all. Sye looked back up and thanked Canren a second time for all she had done for him. Canren told him it was nothing, and offered the penguin to hang with her for protection, while she searched for her other responsibility.

Chapter Five: Millions Served, Some Slapped
RS and Phineas were still running around South Pole City, trying to find Xet and Vam. They stopped into a McDoodle's, one of many around the city, to take a break and maybe get a clue. And maybe a burger, too.

"Welcome to McDoodle's, may I take your order?" asked the zit-faced teenager at the counter.

Phineas, not paying attention because he waddled away to the Silly Meal toy display, didn't reply to the cashier.

"What's with your friend?" asked another cashier.

"He's my younger brother." replied RS sweetly. Then, she suddenly screamed, "PHINEAS, PAY ATTENTION!" She then reverted back to her smile.

"Oh, Flywish action figure that says 10 phrases in English, Spanish, and French, I love you." Phineas kissed the display, and then immediately turned around, walking dizzily towards the counter. "Uh, oh, hi, hello. Sorry. Have you seen a penguin come in here?" he asked the cashier.

"Yes. At least a hundred per day!" said the cashier sarcastically. "Why do you need to know?"

"We're looking for a specific penguin, though," Rocketta replied. "He's dark green with a lighter green beak, either a skin condition or a really good makeup job, no chest patch, and he wears purplish-pink robes with a backpack. A stupi-er, advanced compact vacuum cleaner follows him around everywhere. He also has deep black hair and violet eyes. His name is Xet."

RS fixed her hair and dug into her pocket. She was now holding up her Ice-Phone, making it obvious that there was a candid shot of Xet on the touch screen.

The penguin shrugged, then rolled his eyes. "We serve food here, Miss."

"Well, we're going to serve REVENGE or something like that soon," Phineas said cheesily, starting to walk out. Rocket Slug reached into her backpack and smacked Phineas with a waffle iron.

"Ow! What was that for?" he asked irritably.

"We're not going anywhere until we get clues. Facts. And maybe a frappe for me; I'm parched," said RS, staring into space for a second thinking about mocha. She suddenly slapped herself back into focus.

"Can we get a Silly Meal? I want those yummy fries! And that Flywish action fi-"

SLAP!

"THANKS!" moaned her brother sarcastically, rubbing his arm.

The cashier raised what would constitute his eyebrows at the random physical aggression of these kids. He'd better tell them all that he knows. "Fine. He was in here earlier. He asked about our 'MILLIONS SERVED' sign and brought up slavery. I told him that we only serve food, and then his little vacuum tried to jump up here, fell upside down, and they both left...THAT'S ALL I KNOW PLEASE DON'T HIT ME WITH A WAFFLE IRON.''"

"Thanks." Rocket Slug replied. "Oh and can I have an iced Doodle Frappe, and a Doodle Nugget McSilly Meal?"

"Five coins, please."

RS dug around in her cargo pants pocket, then dropped the coins on the counter.

"Can we get the food now?" Phineas complained, obviously deprived of his instant gratification. "This service is slower than a gastropod tied to unlit TNT!"

SLAP!

The teenager, addressed by his name tag as "Joey," eventually handed them the food. They sat down, ate, and continued their investigation.

Meanwhile, at Xet's evil base, Midas and Herb were successfully building the satellite dish. Vam was wheeling around the backyard squealing, and the robot father was trying to yank out Midas' hair. "OW!" Midas screamed. "Stop it!" he said, hitting the robo-father in its face. It sparked and fell to the ground, catching fire.

Xet glared, practically shooting beams of animosity from his purple eyes. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FATHER?!?" He growled, but then recalled keeping his innocent act. "It's...okay. Just... be a little more careful, please?"

Midas nodded, clearly with every intention to keep defending himself against this antagonistic father figure. "Mm-hm..."

Chapter Six: Hey
Rocket Slug was waiting at the front door once again with Phineas34720.

"Rocket, they were here ALL ALONG!" Phineas whined, finally able to see the backyard. "I had to WALK all the way here twice for NOOOOTTTTHHHIIIINNNGGGG!"

"We had to walk all the way here, Mister Buns-and-Thighs," RS corrected. "But now we have intel! And you got your Flywish action figure."

Midas, Herb, and Xet turned from a dump truck loaded with the steel to face the sound of the voices. While Herb remained at the controls, Xet and Midas climbed out and faced the newcomers.

Xet was the first to speak. "INTRUDER!" Xet shouted. "TRESPASSING ON THE SANCTITY OF MY BASE, ARE YOU?! VAM, ATTACK THEM! ...-AND HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAAAAAAAAAMMEE?"

Vam stopped circling, and some electrical noises followed as his eyes turned red. "SIR YES SIR!" he shouted with a spark of intelligence. He began to travel the distance to Rocket Slug and Phineas, sucking up pebbles and snow from the ground as he went. Then, as soon as the intelligence came, it faded. Vam's eyes shifted back to their powder blue color and he stopped charging forward. A stupid grin came over him again as he returned to circling the two siblings idly. Rocket Slug and Phineas looked at each other, and for a moment, the entire yard fell silent, with nothing but the whirring of Vam's motor to break it.

"This day just gets stranger and stranger." Midas commented. Then he took off his glasses and squinted at Phineas. Putting them back on, he spoke: "Wait, I know the kid in the striped shirt! Why, it's Phin.. -eas! My science fair rival!"

Midas shivered as he said 'Phineas', as if something electrical had shocked him. Little did he know that parodies were effected when in contact with their real counterpart, the parodee. If a parody gets too close and stays too close to its parodee, it can harm it. In Midas' case, saying "Phineas" had a weaker, but identical effect.

"Hey Ph-Phineas!" Midas said again, ignoring the shivering.

Phineas waved to Midas, but his attention was diverted as the air created by Vam's suction began pulling on his feathers. Phineas smiled at Vam, and picked the vacuum up. "Well, aren't you a cute little household appliance!" he said, as if he was talking to a baby.

"I AM!" Vam shouted back.

"Who's a happy vacuum? Who's a happy vacuum?"

Vam giggled maniacally. "I AM I AM I AM! WHEEEEEEEEE!!"

Rocket Slug slapped Phineas.

"OW!" Phineas placed Vam back on the ground reluctantly, where the robot continued to orbit his feet no matter where he went.

"I LIKE CORNBREAD!" Vam shouted.

"Look sis, it likes me!" Phineas said.

More slapping followed.

"Why'd ya hit Cornbread, tall Lady?"

"Yeah, why'd you h- Cornbread?"

"IT'S WHAT I'M GONNA CALL YOU!" Vam shouted.

"That works for me," Phineas replied.

Herb, still in the dump truck, was silent. Well, more silent than usual. Midas, just now paying attention to Herb, turned and looked up at his step-brother in the truck. The pupils in Herb's eyes had widened, like deep pools of water, and he'd just been staring in deep thought... staring at Rocket Slug!

"Herb? Herb?"

Herb did not respond. All he could focus on was her. Her attitude towards her brother, her willingness to wield a waffle iron, the way she has just the tiniest bit of a milk moustache from her iced frappe...

Rocket Slug noticed Herb's staring as well.

"Rocket, I think the quiet one likes you," Phineas whispered as Vam still circled.

Rocket Slug performed quite a "O_O" face in reply, waving at him awkwardly.

Herb waved shyly, still with big eyes, and leaned back a bit on the truck's dashboard, throwing the gearshift in neutral. The dump truck began rolling backwards. Herb jumped out of the truck as it rolled away. Part of Xet's fence was crushed as the truck picked up speed. Since Resisty Circle was a cul-de-sac surrounded on all sides by skyscrapers of the city's downtown, the dump truck didn't roll far until it entered a busy intersection and slowed to a stop.

"Herb! There goes all our steel!" Midas exclaimed. "What happened there, man? You never usually lose focus!"

Herb spoke in his suave accent. "I... was weak."

Explorer, meanwhile, was waddling down the street, looking up at the skyscrapers and to the tall fence that was separating this street from the properties at Resisty Circle.

"I don't know why I'm here. The Mayor said to walk on the downtown street next to the fence that partitions Resisty Circle. He said that something 'good' was going to happen to me today."

The dump truck rolled onto the road out of the busted fence.

"That'll do just fine!" Explorer said happily, running to the dump truck and climbing in. "And the keys are still inside. SCORE!"

Explorer cranked up the truck full of steel and began driving off, thinking of all the wonderful things he could to to Mabel with these raw materials.

Back with Canren and Sye, the two were still together behind the bush. The bully had run away moments earlier and she decided to stay with Sye as she recollected her thoughts. She turned to the nerd. "Sye, I'm in charge of two maniacal boys, and I MUST find them right now."

"Well, I might as well come with you. I need to find Xet. He's up to something horrible."

"So are they."

"Really?" Sye said, smiling slightly.

"Yeah. They are always building something unbelievable, but every time I try to show Miss Aurumen, their mother, the evidence vanishes-"

"-and no one believes you?" Sye interrupted, still displaying a caring, sympathetic smile: the kind that says 'I understand'.

"Yeah... Wait, how'd you know?"

"I have my own burden to carry," he said, sadly. Canren frowned and put her flipper on Sye's back again.

"You can tell me. I know what it feels like to never be able to bust something that's so obvious."

Sye smiled. Finally, a friend that could understand his pain!

They both bent down in an O-Berry bush near Xet's backyard so they could see over the fence.

Suddenly, a dark-colored, dark-haired, and dark-dressed female penguin walked up to the bush, eventually noticing the rustling and bending down. She didn't look very nice, but she had a determined look on her face, a look that said, "Get my brother and sister into trouble."

Canren looked up at the figure. "Who are you?"

The girl looked down, tossed a lock of hair, and smiled. "I'm Agent Meltie, on a mission to get my brother and sister in trouble. They're always doing all these wild things and Mom never catches them. What are you guys up to? Hanging out in the bushes or somethin'?"

Sye gasped. This girl was intense. Everything about her fashion sense and demeanor reminded him of Veranda, but something told him she was much more than that. Maybe she was spooky and apathetic, but if she was talking to him, surely they had something in common! "There's this kid, right? Xet? And I KNOW for certain, that he is an alien. Nobody believes me but my sister Veranda, and she's apathetic and just doesn't care in general..."

"Ugh..."

"Right. So anyway, I'm just the 'crazy weird kid' with all this Zitizen-tracking technology, and whatever I try just snowballs downhill from there."

Canren smiled. "And I defended Sye from a mean bully. Turns out, we're on the same type of mission. I'm a babysitter."

"Hey, so am I!" Agent chimed in.

"Yeah. So I babysit these kids, Midas and Herb, and they build all this crazy stuff and go on these wild adventures, but their contraptions always vanish from thin air and I'm just standing there, hoping that it would come back from outer space or a guy's garage or wherever it ended up in, but it never does, ever. And then they build something more elaborate the next day, and I'm crossing my flippers that it's indestructible and going to stay for a while, but, guess what? The same thing happens! Their mom, Miss Aurumen, never catches them. It's a hard job."

Agent M began to tap her chin. She thought pretty hard about their situations. "So, what are you trying to accomplish today?"

"I'll steal Xet's...contraption thing-a-ma-bob he and the guys are building..." Sye started.

"...And I'll drive it to Miss Aurumen, because Midas and Herb helped build it..." Canren continued.

"And then, I'll have Canren here dress as me and drive it near the schoolyard during recess, so then Xet will be EXPOSED! I'll be right! They'll have to love me then!" Sye stood up, gracefully leaning on his cane.

Agent raised her eyebrows, surprised at the nerd's commitment. "Wait, you're cutting class?"

"Yep." Sye nodded and smiled, to finally seem "cool" for once.

Agent smiled. "That's awesome."

Canren knew what was going to happen. "I feel a song coming on."

As soon as she said that, the sunlight vanished into a Night Club-esque row of colorful lights. The snow-covered mud sunk down underground to reveal a stage. Pretty soon, Sye threw his cane to the side, grabbed a microphone, and prepared himself to sing. Agent, knowing immediately what to do, pushed a red button on her phone to play a ring tone.

(The song is Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend.")

Hey! Hey! You! You! I will be victorious! No way! No way! I think you need a re-think Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be victorious!

Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that you think that No way! No way! I know you're not that dumb Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be so correct

You're telling lies, oh my my, make me look crazy Try to expose you all the time, so yeah maybe Don’t you know what I could do to make you see the truth? (the truth, the truth, the truth) Don’t pretend I'm all strange 'cause I'm intelligent And, oh yeah! Push me down, I'm back up again I can tell you know the truth but you're scared to tell

You're always incorrect You walk so your back's erect I think you should get in trouble now And that’s what I gonna blog about!

Hey! Hey! You! You! I will be victorious! No way! No way! I think you need a re-think Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be victorious! I want to be so correct

I can see the way, I see the way you stare at me And even when you mock me, I know it's clear to see The alien, the same time, over and over again (and again, and again, and again!) So come over here, lemme expose your antennae Better yet make yourself vanish, okay? I don’t ever want to hear your evil plans ever again (and again, and again, and again!)

You're always incorrect You walk so your back's erect I think you should get in trouble now And that’s what I gonna blog about!

Hey! Hey! You! You! I will be victorious! No way! No way! I think you need a re-think Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be victorious!

In a second you’ll be exposed to the public 'cause no one, no one can do this better There's no other, so whatcha been doin'? You aren't penguin, who are you tryin' to be?

Hey! Hey! You! You! I will be victorious! No way! No way! I think you need a re-think Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be victorious! Hey! Hey! You! You! I will be victorious! No way! No way! I think you need a re-think Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be victorious!

Hey! Hey!

The stage becomes normal grass again, a background dancer throws Sye his cane, and nobody even said anything during the whole thing, which was proof that they were too entertained to disrupt him, or...

Sye tapped the girls. "Are you awake? Dead?"

...asleep.

Agent Meltie stretched out and tapped Canren, who immediately woke up. "Wha-" Canren scratched her head. "Oh, Sye was just.. singing that song again. It's by some weird human. Hmm. Well, enough of that, we'd better investigate what they're up to."

Agent craned her head over the bush to see and gasped. "PHINEAS AND ROCKETTA ARE WITH THEM?!?"

Sye pushed her over. "Let me see." He saw the shining glow of RS' hair and knew it must be her. "TWO aliens together, working on a project?!? Wonder how that will go down!" He fixed the spike in his hair.

Rihanna gave Sye "the Look". "My sister may be a little odd, but she is not an alien! Whoever put that thought in your head needs to shut the bagel up and stop filling your mind with LIES!" She punctuated this with another tousle of his hair spike.

Doctor Layer Grimom, meanwhile, felt a slight disturbance. "I feel as if someone has stolen my toaster..." He paused. "Or, is it the bagel?"