Ponyo Fan

    pwbstarttitlestartReally Ticked Off RSnailstitleend

Really Ticked Off R-Snails is the greatest selling and highest grossing arcade console in the history of Antarctican gaming. Found in arcades all over the continent and abroad, the game rakes in untold millions of coins and tokens. If the official story is to be believed, the game was submitted to a small arcade company by an anonymous Dorkugese Penguin in early 2010 and was given teh licensing green light by Snowtendo after the company was overwhelmingly impressed. In conspiracies are to be believed, the game was developed in hi Con, and various minions of Mister Icarius placed arcade machines throughout Antarctica. When nerds and no-lifes flooded the arades the next morning, they found it, and made it a new smash hit... emphasis on smash.

Plot
According to the intro screen on the arcade game, the plot centers around multiple greedy Screenhogs that were jealous of the ability of RocketSnails to use advanced and speedy methods of travel, while they were left in the dust, literally and figuretively, using nothing but their feet.

Screenhog- THE Screenhog, not a Screenhog -devises a cunning plan to level the playing fields. In the dead of night, he orders whole armadas of little piggies to swipe the propulsion from the sleeping snails. They wake up in the morning to realize they could no longer move like they once could. Their rockets were untied, their steam engies shut, the uranium moved, and the solar panels stripped.

RSnail- THE RSnail, not a RSnail -immediately took measures to mobilize his own group of RocketSnails to counter the theft of the Screenhogs. Since snails were so slow, the Screenhogs erected fortresses, ramparts, and great walls to separate themselves from any retaliation.

RSnail sought the help of Dara, who concocted a sinisterly sadistic idea for breaking through. They were going to use a catapult. (It's miserable for the snails and the swine.)

Now, armed with a ridiculously painful weapon and a determination like no other, the player's job is to throw RocketSnails at walls and hope that their collisions will take out the Screenhogs within. No, really: that's it.

Gameplay
The arcade game features a few buttons, a slider, and a joystick.

Players control the RocketSnail's catapult. Using the big joystick, they calibrate the catapult's angle of trajectory (e.g. high, low, in the middle). Using the slider, they adjust the strength of the catapult: it can throw it with all its might or make a lesser toss. Pressing the yellow button to the right of the joystick fires the slingshot and unleashes the poor RocketSnail.

RocketSnails
"This will be VERY painful!"

Screenhogs
"WHATEVER YOU DO, JUST KEEP STANDING STILL!"

Winning
The object of the game is to rack up points. It's one hundred points per structure block, five thousand per Screenhog, ten thousand for all RocketSnails not fired, and one hundred thousand for THE ScreenHog. (Using THE RSnail forfeits the level with zero points and skips to the next one.)

Although players could theoretically rack up a high score in just a few levels, the only real way to ensure oneself on the list is to play the entire game.

The game is over if a player runs out of RocketSnails fourteen times. There are one hundred levels and oppurtunities for one-ups throughout.

Reaction
The money was immense, the praise was immense, and the reception was immensely positive... unless one is a RocketSnail or a Screenhog. It is needless to say that these two groups despise this game. (After all, it is a universal fact that RocketSnails and Screenhogs are harmoniously friendly to each other.)

Penguins for the Ethical Treatment of Fish routinely protest outside arcades when they install a copy of, but like always, they are ignored, or, in some places, gunned down- with tasers and gas -by riot police.

Trivia

 * This game is a parody of the insanely popular Angry Birds game: a touch-screen oriented game that throws cute little birds at structures built by equally adorable little pigs. Seriously.
 * GLORY AND POWER TO THE PIG KING
 * Despite what one may think, the highest score on any RTORS game is actually Fred 676. The game mainly involves angles of trajectory; this is a skill that Fred mastered as a little chick. (Veranda is in second.)
 * MORE GLORY AND POWER TO THE PIG KING