User blog:TurtleShroom/A Statement from TurtleShroom

"Those who hate their brothers and sisters are murderers. And you know that murderers do not have eternal life in their hearts.

Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him."

- Holy Bible; 1 John 3:15

DEAR FRIENDS:

I type this statement in order to make known a new direction in my life. No, it's not quitting, and no, it's not inactivity or any major change.

As any one of you can testify, I have a brutal, infamous homophobia: I hate gays. Now, to me, it seemed to be a righteous call to end public homosexuality with all the intensity and vigor I had. However, my mother did not. She told me not to hate gays, but I pressed on... until today.

Today, my mother opened her heart and mind and poured out to me what she really sees about my anti-gay statements. She fears that such raw hatred could turn me away from what is right and away from the Lord.

Saying that, as an autistic man, I have no limits, she fears what my homophobia could lead to. She spoke of gay people that would gang up and try to take my life, or those wishing to assault me, or worse. What's worse than losing my life, though? Losing my family. My mother said that I was raised in a holy family that taught unconditional love. She said she was horrified that something so dark (hatred) could manifest in such a way that is in total opposition to how I was brought up.

She came close to crying as she said it was worse than she thought, and, for the first time in my life, she said that she didn't know if I could possibly exit such a well of hate. She used words like "dark", "raw", and other things to describe them magnitude of my hate. She noted the intensity and fierceness in my tone when I began to denounce homosexuality (you can compare it to my "dictator tone" on the Wiki times ten and in a deep baritone voice). She has had years of experience with all sorts of people; the only time she heard that tone was in genuinely coldhearted, evil people.

The fact that this tone began to bring forth itself in me terrified her. She said she was afraid of what I "could become". She has always said that she'll lock me in this house until I can obey. She brought that threat again, but without the usual "you'll get over it though so don't worry" attitude. Here, she used it in a morbid manner that indicated that she was not locking me up for my own good, but, in my homophobia, she was keeping me away for the good of others.

That is to say, she dropped what she saw as my inccoruptible morality. She actually assumed that I would consider inflicting physical pain on homosexuals, or personally take it on myself to, as she worded it, "purge the gaydom".

She cried a bit and we continued talking. When I tried to tell her about statistics to defend my evil (yes, she said it was evil), she perked up and asked if that was what I did online all day. I vehemently denied this, because I don't, but it is true that I know too many statistics and case law on the target of my hate.

The talk was terrifying. I saw the fear in her eyes and the tears welling up. I saw her face and got a glimpse into what she thought I'd do. It was a fear like that which I could only imagine being done to a criminal aboutto be freed. In fact, I remember that very same look in many episodes of Law and Order SVU. It was the look of "don't let him go, he will kill".

Now, I'm not going to kill or hurt anyone... -but my mother actually considered that I could. This terrified me. I hadn't been that frightened in quite a while. It was genuine fear. Not worry; not anxiety. It was true FEAR, the kind you don't want to experience.

My mother revealed to me a dark path and an evil road that could destroy me as a person and shame my God more than any homosexual. It was a path, she alleged, of destruction and woe. It was a path that had "no limits", as she worded it. She thought my homophobia, and how I delivered it with such passionate hate, that I would become an evil, EVIL man.

Remember the Westboro cult? The one I despise? My mother pretty much said thjat I was becoming one of them and if I didn't stop, it'd be a dark road for me and my life.

It was at that very moment that I exited the room and wrote aletter explaining my next course of action.

That course is repentance.

THEREFORE, I hereby recant all homophobic actions I have taken and will now subscribe to hate the sin not the sinner. If ANYONE catches me beginning to rant about gays, it is your duty to kick me or order me silent.

HOWEVER, DO NOT INTERPRET THIS FILIBUSTER TO ALLOW HOMOSEXUALITY ON THIS WIKI. IT IS STILL WRONG, AND I DO NOT CONDONE IT. THE DIFFERENCE HERE IS THAT I WILL NO LONGER DWELL ON THIS CRUSADE AND WILL NOT DEDICATE MY TIME TO DENOUNCING AND DEMONINZING HOMOSEXUALITY.

This is final.

--Agent Isai (talk) 14:36, 28 May 2021 (UTC)