Old Barbearer Islands

The Penguins' Empire of the Barbearer Islands, or Barbearer Islands, was a communistic empire in the Yowien Sea. The government was comprised of one penguin, Emperor Coldless M. Gutter, who was aided by a council of extremely intelligent computer programs. The nation was disgusted by its own citizens, Yow, the June Islands, and some of Yow's allies. However, oddly enough, it received aid from the United Antarctic Nations (despite the military unrest it had caused in the past years). Because a sole penguin ruled the government, they could lie about the nation's economic and political situations (which Coldless did numerous times). The truth was, by 2013 the government was in a very bad economic situation with sky-high inflation.

History
In contrast to popular belief, the first penguins to discover the island chain were Vikings around the year 200 AD. A couple settlements were placed on the islands. Little is known what these settlements were called, but it is known that by the year 1000 AD, the settlements were completely destroyed and the island was completely deserted. Some Geologists have theorized that near this time, a devastating earthquake hit the islands, causing the stone buildings of these Viking Colonies to collapse. A second one occurred not too long later, and it is believed that the Vikings abandoned the islands because they believe they were bad luck, never to return again. By the time when the islands were re-inhabited again in 2003, the remains of the settlements were just crumbled groups of rocks and the rare remains of ancient Viking pottery, jewelry, or clothing.

The Barbearer Island were rediscovered in 2000 by Feey1, on one of his voyages. However, instead of giving the land to the Yow Kingdom, he gave it to his friend Coldless.

Coldless built a settlement named Topia, which later became the country's capital. The islands had a large crab population, and a large wood source. Topia began trading with other islands in the area, such as Yow Kingdom and the June Islands.

In 2011 Emperor Coldless started to take an interest in outer space, and he made a plan to get "a small piece of space" by sending Barbearics to Space Colony 1. However, it would have taken until 2025 to buy a retired Yowien shuttle and access to the Space Colony.

In 2011 a war broke out in the islands. A penguin had attacked a crab, and when Mr.Blue heard about this he attacked Billings. The war was titled Barbearic Crab War.

In 2013, Frankterre invaded with the help of Snowzerland, Shops Island and Castilla and couped Coldess during the Great Yowien War. The island were immediately occupied, and the Frankterrans declared the islands as an Overseas Départment. Coldess was exiled to Slumolia.

Culture
The Barbearic culture was somewhat of a melting pot. Many Barbearic citizens came from Yow, with a large number of refugees from Snowzerland, Alemania, and Frankterre. The Frankish penguins brought their cultures, which spread throughout the islands quickly. The cultures of Yow, Snowzerland, and Frankterre made a very unique and interesting culture. Like in Frankterre, bakery items become popular in the Barbearer Islands. RocketSnails never caught on as a food though. The nation isn't much into sports, something that was passed down on by the lazy citizens of Yow.

Architecture
The Barbearic architecture reflected an Old World charm. They used carved stones and woods for barns and homes. Barbearics enjoy the nice bricks and wooden roofs. Many houses are colored green or yellow. The houses are very Frankish styled, with some Snoss touches.



Most buildings had flat overhangs that hung above the front door to provide shade.

Language
Around 80% of the population solely spoke English, 10% solely spoke French, and 10% solely spoke other languages. The nation had a language barrier problem, with the fact that there were so many French speaking penguins. This barrier had caused economic, and job issues that affected the entire nation. In 2007 Coldless tried to break down the barrier by demanding that every citizen speaks English, but the law didn't work.

Music
Barbearic penguins enjoyed country, pop, and jazz music. The most popular band was the Penguin Band, but they never appeared on the islands. There were also many local bands like Far South Movement, Jazz Crabs, The Purple Puffles, and more. Classical and rock 'n roll had begun sneaking their way into the musical culture too towards the time the nation was annexed.

Media
The Barbearics weren't very good with technology. Most personal computers were old or outdated, and internet was only available through the extremely slow Yow Access. Watching TV, however, was a popular pastime. Many penguins enjoyed watching TV whenever possible, and every household owned at least one. Only one cable company, Barbearic Cable Business, existed in the Barbearer Islands. They supplied over 10,000 TV channels, some in High Definition.

Sports
Here is a list of sports that were famous in the Barbearer Islands.


 * Surfing
 * Hiking
 * Biking
 * Track 'n Field
 * Baseball
 * Football
 * Soccer
 * Tennis
 * Golf
 * Basketball

Holidays

 * Independence Day- Established July 23, 2003.
 * Happy Friday- Established August 1, 2004.
 * Coldless' Birthday- Established April 5, 2004.

Fashion
The Barbearic fashion was highly influenced by Snoss, and Castillan clothing. Citizens usually wore nice large tunics and jewelry. But since 2007 the fashion started to evolve from tunics, to tight clothing with flashy colors. The 'Color Age' struck the Barbearer Islands, and young penguins wore the new fashionable clothing. But many elders still wore the large Barbearic tunics.

Cuisine
The cuisine was heavily influenced by the Frankish immigrants that came to the islands. Bakery items became extremely popular in 2006, including recipes involving Fish, crabs, and mollusks.

Local Foods

 * Crabs
 * Pineapples
 * Mangoes
 * Bananas
 * Peanuts
 * Mullets
 * Tomatoes
 * Lettuce
 * Acorns
 * O' Berries

Well Known Inhabitants

 * Emperor Coldless
 * He was the emperor of the islands. He is great friends with Feey1 and the late King Alexander.
 * Mr.Blue
 * He was known for his strange blue colored skin, and his high intelligence. However, he has since passed away.
 * Miss Mellisa56
 * She is known for her amazing dancing skills. She has performed in many dance contests and TV shows. She is trying to get into an acting career.
 * General Bot455
 * General of Coldless' robot army, and the most intelligent robot. He partook in many battles, and seems to have won almost every time.
 * Scientist BillyJon
 * Known for his amazing discoveries in the universe and biology. He has also discovered certain sea mammals and fish.
 * Lane Ants
 * He comes from a large history of country leaders, and was rumored to be Coldless' successor to the throne. He lived in the capitol, and enjoyed eating fishdogs.

Electricity
The Barbearer Islands received its electricity mostly from nuclear power plants and wind mills. Coldless supported the nuclear plants a lot, making monthly donations of 10,000 Gold Coins. It is unknown why Coldless supported the nuclear plants so much, many rumors had spread that he wanted his robots to have nuclear weaponry. But that is possibly not true. Though many 'green penguins' supportted the windmills, by setting up donations and getting others to help out too. A common phrase they used was Don't Be Mean, Go Green!.

Government
The government used at the Barbearer Islands was an empire. Coldless also tried very hard to have complete control of the islands, meaning he didn't hire any police officers, soldiers, governors, or mayors!

The government was extremely strict and ruthless. Emperor Coldless tried to stamp out all rebellion in the country and ensure complete loyalty. For example, the government levied 20% sales tax and 50% income tax on all citizens. This made the government extremely rich at first, although the nation still eventually fell into debt. There were other laws that prohibited sedition, rebellion, protests and demonstrations, and homeschooling.

Education
Luckily, education was a big deal to Emperor Coldless. He wanted all of his citizens to be very intelligent at science and engineering. So, he prohibited homeschooling, and forced all chicks to go to a public or private school.

Mandatory Subjects

 * Science
 * Engineering
 * Math
 * History
 * Physical Education

Elective Subjects

 * Art
 * Wood Shop
 * AV Club
 * Music
 * Dance
 * Writing

Military


Barbearer's military wasn't composed of penguins or crabs, but rather robot soldiers, similar to how Amataria's military is made up of robots soldiers. The bots were about the same size as penguins, and were designed to induce fear in their opponents. The military never fought in a war, but Coldless had hoped to make the army invincible. The citizens, on the other hand, were afraid that Coldless was beginning to become evil and crazy (which he was).

After his failure in the Barbearic Crab War, Coldless wanted revenge on his old friends. So being the idiot he is, he spent 90% of all the economy on rebuilding his military. He hired engineers, and scientist to make new soldiers for him that were human like. These robots were stronger, faster, smarter, and more fearful looking. These robots were only the beginning. Next Coldless took a loan from Snoss banks of 90 million Coins, and raised taxes on his citizens. He built more robots, and continued to spend way over his budget. The national debt of the Barbearer Islands rose so high, the Coin was soon losing value. Before long the Coin was only worth .00008 of a fish, and riots begin. Then Coldless did something worse, he started to make more Coins causing inflation. However, he didn't tell anyone about the industrial Coin making, therefore the Barbearer Islands didn't have inflation and the debt was paid off. Coldless built up his military of robots, and caused his economy terrible problems that no one knew about.

Navy
The navy was mostly made of large box vessels. These vessels were called toptlipetlocalis (or topts for short), which means "closed chest". A squad of robots was stored on each of the six floors of the vessel. A hatch in the roof allowed the robots to get out. The topts did not have any cannons on them, making them poor offensively. At the peak of the Barbearer Navy, there were over 200,000 topts, with five more being built each month.

Air Force
The robots in the military were able to fly, though it could hardly be called an "air force". Emperor Coldless tried to start manufacturing aircraft, but repeatedly ran into budget issues.

Statistics
At the military's peak, there were approximately 60 million robots in fighting condition, with a few hundred decommissioned and at most 50 manufactured daily.

Weakness
The army was made up of nothing but robots, so they could easily be outsmarted. Coldless tried working on a way for the robots to have more intelligence, but it wasn't completed before the nation's collapse in 2013.

Coldless also set up a self destruction system. He had two remotes that, when both are activated, will destroy all the robots. This would be used if the robots decided to over throw the penguins. The robots also had the tendency of breaking or malfunctioning easily if their internal systems are damaged.

Relations With Other Nations

 * Yow Kingdom- Horrible. The Yowiens hate the Barbearics for warring with them so much, and are always fearful of another invasion.
 * Castilla- Decent. Castilla does not like their robot army, though since they have become an enemy of Yow, they have found some interest in peace talks.
 * Snowzerland- Good. Snowzerland has signed a peace treaty with the islands when they declared themselves the enemies of Yow. Snowzerland is considering arm the island with nukes for "Self Defense" purposes.
 * USA- Neutral. The USA does not consider Barbearer Islands a threat or a potential ally.
 * Shops Island - Fair. They are friends with the islands only because of their common distaste of Yow.

Wars
See The Crab Wars

Politics
Despite the island chain being controlled by a single ruler, Emperor Coldless allowed the citizens to have political parties, which could send requests to be approved by the Emperor. Here are a list of Political Parties of the islands. Most of these parties still exist. on the islands.

Barbearer Neutrality Party
This party believed that Barbearer islands should stay a neutral nation that should not conquer, upset, or interfere with other countries. They believe that the Barbearer islands have the potential to do much more for itself than to conquer islands rather than conquering, conquering, conquering. Most citizens in this party had originated from Snowzerland, Alemania, and Castilla. This party wished that the Barbearer Islands wouldn't take the same paths as those countries in an effort to promote Antarctic Peace. This was the most popular and largest party in Barbearer.

Barbearer Green Party
The Barbearer Green party wanted the Barbearer islands to be eco-friendly by promoting the use of alternative power sources like wind turbines and solar panels. Like the Neutrality party, the Green Party also believes that the Barbearer Islands should stay a peaceful, non-conquering country so that the country can focus on other things. It is the second largest party in Barbearer.

Barbearer Military Party
The Barbearer Military party wants the Barbearic islands to conquer more land. They want the Barbearer Islands to grow to envelope the entire Ninja Archipelago and USA. This party is Coldless' personal favorite party. It is also the 2nd largest party in the government, and is still growing.

Geography
The Barbeaer Islands are capable of growing grass and trees. It does not get much grass and is a very warm island. The average temperature is 35 degrees Fahrenheit. Crabs, penguins, and puffles can still live there.

Cities
The 5 Barbearic Cities were:


 * Topia- The first settlement in the islands, which was also the capitol. Not far from Fort Woyard. It was known for it's large amount of immigrants.


 * Metrix- Next to Topia, it had a large amount of wood. It was the factory island for the robot soldiers.


 * Billings- One of the smallest Barbearic Islands. It had a large intelligent crab civilization that the Barbearics call Bar Crab City.


 * Villas- It was a large fishing town that many fishers came to. It also had a large market, where fish, Rhopper Berries, O' Berries, and more were sold or traded. It was also home to five different villas all owned by Coldess himself.


 * Japlin- It is the 2nd largest Barbearic island and has massive swamps. 25% of the land is swamp, and it is very moist.

Fortresses
Coldless has put his interest in building fortresses around the islands, he builds at least 2 new ones a year. He plan to connect all the forts by building portals that lead to other forts. This would create a very powerful protection system, that Coldless would like to build one day. But budget issues have stopped him.

Here is a list of all the fortresses in the Barbearer Islands.


 * Fort Woyard- The first Barbearic fort. It was constructed to help construct the country's capital and is used to check boats in and out of the islands.


 * Fort McHappy- The 2nd fort built in the capital. It is used by Emperor Coldless to house in while his house was being built. It is now the country's government HQ.


 * Fort Carolin- It was a large ware house where weapons, food, and tools are stored. It is now abandoned, when Black Mold was found in it.


 * Fort Lane- Located on Billings, it still stands. It was built for the same purpose of Fort Woyard. But unlike Fort Woyard, it is on land.


 * Fort Line- It is a massive stone wall right in the middle of Japlan. It blocks the swamp land from reaching the dry land.

Flag
The flag design was sent to Coldless by a citizen. Coldless loved the flag and made it the official flag of the islands. The flag portraits one blue crab, and one red crab. But during the Barbearic Crab War Coldless came to hate the flag and decided to make a new design, one that would portrait him. However, the new design was never finished and released to the public.

Motto
"If you forget history, it's bound to happen again."

- Emperor Coldless

The famous quote became the national motto. It had been very inspiring to Coldless, and it inspired the country a lot too.

Anthem
"Barbearer Islands, Barbearer Islands, oh how I love my home. Barbearer Islands, Barbearer Islands, oh how I love the land!"

- Unknown

The anthem was sent in by a mysterious penguin, thought to be the same one who sent in Yow's anthem. Coldless though it was good, and that it had to be the anthem.

Trivia

 * Emperor Coldless planned to use his robot army to conquer all of Antarctica, though many think his plan never would have worked.
 * Unlike Yow's Penguin Super Suits, the Barbearic robots are carefully designed and not rushed through production. Economists predicted that the extra cost would sink the nation into debt even faster than Yow, which it ended up doing by 2013.
 * The nation was going to send a pre-used Yowien space shuttle to Space Colony 1, so the Barbearers could a "small piece of space". However, at the rate donations were coming in it would have taken until 2025 to earn enough money to do so.