Anne Yeager's Diary

"Sometimes, I look back into my early entries and wonder "What was going on in my mind...?" Now I know, as a changed and matured woman, that maybe not knowing is best; ignorance is bliss, after all."

- 19 year-old Anne

Anne Yeager's diary, or Anne's big, stupid book of pointless secrets as Alexander calls it, is exactly what it is; Anne Yeager's diary. Anne writes her emotions in this old journal, dating all the way back to her fourth grade years. Anne plans to publish it one day, along with other books she hopes to produce in the future. The antique diary is stained and torn from wear, tear, brotherly shenanigans and coffee spills. It was a gift from Anne's father on her birthday as he didn't want her to keep her emotions bottled up inside of her. She added a wooden lock button to it shaped as a coffee mug, symbolizing her favorite drink and occupation.

The reason she continued to messily tape, staple and glue more pages to it is because of her sentimental affection towards it and she loves to read over how she has grown over the years. Her grammar and spelling has improved quite a bit.

July 7th, 2003
"Dear diary,

Hello, diary! I hope i remember to use you as much as posible. Its really late right now... 10 a clock pm! And its also my birthday and Im trying to get occustumated to writeing in here. I have so many things i want to tell my freinds, but i never know how to! I dont even know if they are really my freinds. They just seem so distant. I like them and all, but I never feel like they truely care for me, like I want to care for them. I just wish I had true friends that I could share secrets with! Ugh, my dumb brother Alexander is comeing to try to look in my diary... it was nice writeing in you for the frist time!"

- Anne Yeager

July 9th, 2003
"Dear diary,

Today and yesterday were boring, but at least it was sunny today. Alex hasnt been makeing my life so easy, ither! Hes always trying to look and my diary and Ive only writen in ONE PAGE! We havent done anything fun for summer yet and school is gonna come back before we know it! Sigh, if only i had some real friends to talk to!"

- Anne Yeager

July 10th, 2003
"Dear diary,

This summer has been very lame so far. Theres nothing to do, and I think Im gonna need glasses! My vision is blurry and I cant see anything super far away! I just gotta keep it a secret and nobody will know. Here comes Alex again... gotta go!"

- Anne Yeager

July 11th, 2003
"Dear diary,

Hey diary- Ive finally come up with something to keep me not bored! Ive been reading a lot of mom's spy novels and their pretty good, but now I wanna write a story. So Ive been trying to make some characters for my story. I want to make a story about a secret agent. Her name is Guadalupe Jade San Alvaro and she's trying to save the world. She has a best friend named Skipper Jackson and they go on adventures together to stop evil villains. Its gonna be so amazeing, you just watch!"

- Anne Yeager

July 14th, 2003
"Dear diary,

Ugh! Alex actually thinks I got secrets when I can barely put a signle thing about anyone except for him in here... he always is bothering me! Why would he care what I think about him when I tell him hes just an annoying jerk everyday? Why cant he just go outside and play football with his REAL friends?! I dont have any true friends but he spends everyday inside trying to make me miserable. He never understands me... oh, do I wish I had a nice older sister instead!"

- Anne Yeager

July 15th, 2003
"Dear diary,

If Alex got paid for being ANNOYING, we would all be rich! If he werent so stupid, we would probably get along much better, but no! He HAS to try to snag my diary to read my "secrets". How can I have any secrets if its the middle of summer? My only secret is how much I hate him, and that's not very much of a secret! Sigh, adios diary... The bully brother is back. Hasta pronto!"

- Anne Yeager

Trivia

 * This is an extremely loose parody of the diary of Anne Frank.