East Pengolia

East Pengolia is a communist nation that seceded from West Pengolia on May 1st, 2009. Unlike their counterpart, East Pengolia is said to be more democratic in nature, though they still have a wacky autocrat and a famous adviser. The country has also been accused of multiple penguin rights abuses as well, all of which are denied by the East Pengolian government. Workers run the place around here, so if you are rich, GET OUT! The workers will think you are there to hire enslave them and you will get whacked with FISH! (Correction: Fish will whack YOU!)

The Pengolian Split
Our story begins on April 30th, 2009, at a large banquet in which every Khanz Penguin within thirty miles of Penghis Khan's palace was attending. About 100,000 Khanz were there. Everyone from the richest creature to the infamous shoe thrower known as Bambadoo. We see Penghis Khan at the head of the table, as custom dictates. On the other side of the 50-yard table were the poorer penguins. Bambadoo and his friend with the laptop were talking among other penguins, particularly a strange one with a long mustache, a black cloak, and the Jack's Lantern dialect (the Jacko accent).

He was Bolsheevic Penguinsky, a member of The Society Against the Stupidity of Penghis Khan and proud of it. Bambadoo immediately struck up a conversation with him. The following transcript was recorded by a Penghis Khan fan who happened to be sitting nearby. It was declassified at 1:53 PM Penguin Standard time.

Bambadoo: Huh... I haven't seen you around here before.

Penguinsky: I lurk everyvhere, watching 'zee workers get yelled at by Penghis Vhan. I VATE IT! Can't you see he's an abusive tyrant?

Bambadoo: I threw a shoe at him.

Penguinsky perks up.

Penguinsky: ...vou did? Such courage!

Bambadoo: You hate his speech too?

Penguinsky: I vate his velling 'zee most.

Bambadoo: You know what? We need to DO SOMETHING about it. We can't just sit here and be oppressed by someone one third our size!

Penguinsky: You're right, vut how?

Bambadoo: We out yell him.

Penguinsky: Leave vit to me.

Penguinsky stands up.

Penguinsky: VOUR MOMMA'S SO ANNOYING, SHE CAN'T SHUT VUP IF TAPE WAS VRAPPED AROUND HER BEAK!

Crowd: OOOHHH!

Penghis Khan: PENGHIS KHAN THINKS YOU'RE FAT!

Crowd: OOOHHH!

Penguinsky: I'VE SEEN BETTER PWNAGE IN ZEE RULING VLASS!

Everyone is silent and confused.

Penguinsky: VOU ARE SHORT!

Crowd: O_O (no one ever calls Penghis Khan that)

Penghis Khan: THAT'S IT, UGLY! FACE PENGHIS KHAN'S FISH!!

Penghis Khan jumps on the table.

Penguinsky: I don't fear your vish.

Crowd: OOOHHH!

Penguinsky: You are a tiny autovrat who does nothing but vell at zee innocent vorkers.

Penghis Khan twitches.

Penguinsky: While we work all day and slap people with our vish, you hold those dumb jewels and yell at us.

Penghis Khan continues twitching.

Penguinsky: You have no vright to run zee country. We, zee penguins of Pengolia, should run zee country.

Everyone but Penguinsky: O_O O_O O_O

Bambadoo raises his flipper.

Bambadoo: I agree.

Everyone turns and stares.

Random Penguin: ZOMG IT'S THE SHOE THROWER!

Penguinsky: Zee shoe thrower of JUSTICE!

Other random penguins: Yeah!

''Other crowd members stand up and agree. They start chanting "COUP COUP COUP"!''

Penguinsky: VOU HERE THAT, PENGHIS?! THAT'S 'ZEE SOUND OF THE UNITED OPRESSED PENGUINS!

Bambadoo: CHARGE!

Everyone starts chasing Penghis Khan!

End dialouge.  

Several penguins start singing "We're Not Gonna Take It".

Penghis Khan quickly ran out of his palace. Waddling as fast as his tiny self could carry, he summons some servants and hops in a Limosine. The angry mob continues to chase him and sing. Penghis Khan croses the border into Eastshield. The mob persues, and starts to throw hammers.

Explorer happened to be walking down the road.

Penghis Khan ran up to him and starting screaming.

"PROPELLOR BIRD! PENGHIS KHAN IS BEING CHASED BY THOUSANDS OF CRAZY SUBJECTS WHO ARE THROWING HAMMERS AT HIM!"

Explorer smiles and giggles to himself, but quickly fakes a look of concern.

"Aww, that's a shame. What can I do to help?"

"USE YOUR FIFTH WINDOW POWERS, PENGHIS KHAN COMMANDS IT!"

"It's Fourth Wall, your PWNsomeness, and why should I? I kind of like their little song... We're not gonna take it... hmm, catchy. Sounds like a parody of... OH WAFFLES! I should have seen this coming! I should have read the script! MAYOR MCFLAPP, YOU ALLOWED A COMMUNIST REVOLUTION?!"

"Penghis Khan doesn't see the bird with the hat."

"Penghis Khan, listen. That mob wants to lock you in a broom closet and steal your fish. Waddle, waddle as fast as possible!"

Penghis Khan took off running, while Explorer looked on. As he disappeared out of sight, Explorer looked up to the clouds and laughed.

"A communistic revolt? That's new Mayor! Good one!"

"This is Penguin TV News bringing you a news report from Pengolia where communists in the east of the state have taken over and are currently throwing 'a party for vee vorkers vwho helped vus defeat Penghis Vhan'" the female newsreader said. "Here to cover the report is Matt Dawson. Matt?"

"Well thank you! I'm here with Bolsheevic Penguinsky live and the famous shoe thrower Bambadoo" Matt said. "Now Bambadoo is puttig up a banner of him throwing a shoe so we only have Penguinsky".

"Vello" Bolsheevic Penguinsky said. "Vi have taken over the vuptid reige of Penghis Vhan".

"Why are you doing this?" Dawson asked.

"Vi vorked in a show factory. Vi loved vit there. Vuntil Penghis Vhan came and shouted at ve. Vi went to Penghis Vhan's feast for some reason vi do not know. And vhere vi met Bambadoo the shoe thrower. Vi talked to vim. Ve said how he threw the shoe. And together ve chased Penghis Vhan out."

"So hows your communist -"

"Communist?!? Ve are not communist. Ve are socialist."

"Ok. Well we've ran out of time. Sorry. Bye."

TO BE CONTINUED!

After the Split
In 2010, Penguinsky published the "Social Socialists Act", which brought more factories and bustling cities, trading deals with the USA, reduced taxes and expanded free trade. The economy of Pengolia started to prosper, and the quality of life improved. In 2013, Bolsheevic joined The Great Yowien War in an attempt to help Yow from the imperialist nations attacking it, to no avail. The loss left a bitterness with Penguinsky, and so he gave weapons and aid to the Axis in the Frosian War. East Pengolia was also a major focus in the second half of the Antarctic War on Terrorism. So, from 2013 to 2016, sanctions were heavy upon the nation, which hurt the economy.

After Pengolia was invaded in the War on Terror due to aggression with Snowiny, Penguinsky realized the error of his ways and went back to protecting his own land and building up the economy again. By 2018, the standard of living in East Pengolia had tripled from what it was in 2010. The economy once again prospered once sanctions were lifted, and East Pengolia eventually became an economic giant for its size. What was once barren wasteland was turned into a land of opportunity, bustling with full offices, safe factories, igloos, and a nation focused on the workers.

Future

 * See also: Tear Down This Curtain

In the future, the mean, hardened communist Johnny Stallin takes power in East Pengolia. He doesn't care about the workers, and begins committing multiple penguin rights abuses against the population of East Pengolia, even more so than before.

In 2021, in response to this, Koobly Khan makes a speech, challenging Stallin to tear down the Steel Drapes, called Tear Down This Curtain. However, Stallin doesn't do that, but after that, the workers began to work to overthrow his oppressive regime. A year after that, Stallin dies in exile, after which the nation will tear down the Steel Drapes and reconcile it's relationship with the West. It will later go on to rejoin the USA.

Before that, the East Pengolians tried to sell all of their tanks, warships, and aircraft to other socialist and communist countries. However, they only managed to sell a few of them. All the tanks, ships and planes that East Pengolia had left were given to the USA military.

Currency
Despite being quite socialist in nature (workers run the place), EP still uses money and capitalism. East Pengolia runs on a currency called the "Soviet", abbreviated Ƨ. It takes 10,000 Soviets to make one Khanz, and 100,000 Soviets to make one CP Coin.

Language
The official language is called "Penguin Mongolian Scrawl", which was created by Bolsheevic Penguinsky when he was a chick. English is also widespread, but PMS is being taken up rapidly.

Places
East Pengolia is attempting to become industrialized, so Bolsheevic ordered a town to be built in the new nation. He called it Fishwow, and it now has 500,000 penguins, and is rapidly growing. In the border they share with their enemy, West Pengolia, steel drapes cover it so that penguins from the other side won't go through and so as penguins on this side. There is also the coastal city of St. Joeyaasburg that was built during the split.

Geography
The geography of East Pengolia is identical to West Pengolia since they were once the same country. East Pengolia is way windier than its counterpart, with gusts up to 60 MPH and sustained winds of 35 MPH. Unlike East Pengolia, West Pengolia has lots of oil, however.

Flag
The flag of East Pengolia is mostly red, symbolizing the color of the vegetable soup served at Penghis Khan's banquet, and the revolt that happened that day. The yellow thing in the corner is called a Sickle, which really has no purpose other than the fact that Bolsheevic carries one everywhere he goes (and that it doubles as a nifty fork). The fish, obviously, represents fish slapping and PWNage, and the fish is eating the sickle like a fishing hook, which, according to classified sources, represent Bolsheevic's control over PWNage (don't tell Bugzy).

Motto
The country has two different official mottoes.

1. Мы делаем собственные возраста лучше для ВAC! (We are doing better than their ownage for YOU!)

This motto was devised because Bolsheevic believes that everything should be done for the good of the penguins, and for the greater benefit of PWNage.

2. Все, что мы делаем, мы делаем для Вас, собратьев работники!! (All that we do, we do for you, fellow workers!!)

This motto again states how everything the government does is for the penguins.

Motto Pun Controversy
Recently, penguins have begun to mock the first motto, since the fact that "you" is at the end of the sentence and is in all caps. They created rather hilarious and insulting puns using the "YOU!" idea. The joke came to symbolize how East Pengolia is on the opposite side of Pengolia, and has two crazy rulers with opposite ideas.

This idea is credited to Bugzy, and his motto is actually a use of the controversial joke in question.

EXAPMLES:

''You know you want to add on here... for in East Pengolia, the list adds to YOU!''
 * In W. Pengolia, you get slapped by fish. In E. Pengolia, fish slap YOU!
 * Stand for Bugzy, for in E. Pengolia, Bugzy stands for YOU!
 * In the USA, the flag represents you. In E. Pengolia, YOU represent the FLAG!
 * This one was weird.
 * In Club Penguin, you fly Jet Packs. In E. Pengolia, Jet Packs fly YOU!
 * In the USA, you eat pie. In E. Pengolia, pie eats YOU!
 * O_O
 * Don't like Mabel, for if you do, in E. Pengolia, Mabel will like YOU!
 * O_O      O_O       O_O
 * In the McFlappingham family, you have a bally accent. In E. Pengolia, the bally accent has YOU, WOT!
 * In MAI, you can kiss anyone. In E. Pengolia, anyone can kiss YOU!
 * O_O
 * In the UPR, you love Democracy! In E. Pengolia, Democracy loves YOU!
 * In 12yz12ab Island, you like 12yz12ab. In East Pengolia, 12yz12ab likes YOU!
 * In South Pole City, you eat fattening foods. In East Pengolia, fattening foods eat YOU!
 * In a train station, you wait for the train. In East Pengolia, the train waits for YOU!
 * In Dorkugal, you bully nerds. In East Pengolia, nerds bully YOU!
 * Director Benny controls you, for in East Pengolia, YOU control Director Benny!
 * To become a member of the Bureau of Fiction, you need to know how to break the Fourth Wall. In East Pengolia, the fourth wall need to know how to break YOU!
 * O_O
 * In association football, you score the goal. In East Pengolia, the goal scores YOU!
 * If you sing a song, for In East Pengolia, the song sings YOU!
 * Everyone plays games. In East Pengolia, games play YOU!
 * You adopt a puffle. In East Pengolia, puffle adopt YOU!
 * You hear music. In East Pengolia, music hear YOU!
 * In Caseusopolis, you consume cheese. In East Pengolia, cheese consumes YOU!
 * O_O
 * In Club Penguin, you eat pizza. In East Pengolia, pizza eats YOU!
 * O_O
 * In Antarctica, penguins live in igloos. In East Pengolia, igloos live in YOU!
 * O_O O_O O_O
 * In Club Penguin, you ride on the back of the Hydro Hopper. In East Pengolia, the Hydro Hopper rides YOU!
 * You like waffles. In East Pengolia, waffles like YOU!
 * In PASCAR, you drive stock car. In East Pengolia, stock car drives YOU!
 * In Antarctica, you kill worms. In East Pengolia, worms kill YOU!
 * In Ghostlia, you consume mashed potatoes and peas. In East Pengolia, mashed potatoes and peas consume YOU!
 * Arguably, the most longwinded and one of the most O_O-ed parodies.

Anthem
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The Anthem of East Pengolia is We're Not Gonna Take It, which was the same song the riot that chased Penghis Khan sang. It was also the anthem of the well-known Club, and was sung during the Club Penguin Coffee Riot of Colonial Antarctica.

Government
The Government of East Pengolia consists of a leader called "Your OWNAGE Master" (Ваш собственный возраст мастер) who pretty much runs the country. Bolsheevic Penguinsky currently holds the position. The other head of state is called "The Penguin Talking about the Worker's Want" (Пенгуин говорю, о рабочие хотят), who receives hundreds of e-mails daily from East Pengolian citizens and their needs, wants, and such. Bambadoo currently holds this position, and he says he loves it. East Pengolia's legislature is the unicameral Assembly of the Workers, which has 600 seats.

The East Pengolian government is accused of multiple penguin rights abuses, though not as brutal as North Joseon, most notably with its citizen labor camps that produced weapons for the East Pengolian military during the Great Yowien War. Additionally, there is only one political party allowed in the country, with all other parties being banned. All citizens are forbidden from owning any property at all, which is instead owned by the government. East Pengolia also has a Minister of Denial.

Military
In 2009, after East Pengolia seceded from the USA state of Pengolia, they needed a military. The East Pengolian Military, which has 81,310 active soldiers as of 2018, with about 500,000 soldiers in reserve, protects East Pengolia and attacks East Pengolia's enemies. East Pengolia's military was heavily involved in many wars in the past, such as the Great Yowien War, the Puffalia Conflict, the Plague War, and the Frosian War, all of which East Pengolia lost. These losses severely decreased the size and power of the East Pengolian military, leaving it at a shadow of its former glory.

Navy
The EPN is East Pengolia's Navy, and is responsible for defending the seas in and around East Pengolia, consisting of a total of 49 ships; 21 frigates, 13 carriers, and 15 battleships. However, none of these ships are considered equal to the Pelesky and the Crusher by the East Pengolians. These sister ships are very dangerous, as according to the East Pengolian government, seeing them is enough to make an enemy retreat. This has never been proven, however, as neither ship has ever been deployed on open waters in war before. Actually, they are possibly just a bit more powerful than the other battleships.

Air Force
The EPAF is East Pengolia's Air Force, and consists of about 80 aircraft. Their planes are mass produced at a factory in north East Pengolia, but they have also smaller factories on the coast.

Ranks
Here's a list of ranks from highest to lowest.


 * General: The General is in charge of the whole Army. His uniform is red and has every badge on it except for medals he didn't earn. He normally doesn't fight,but if he has to he has a sword and a pair of tiny Fruit Blasters.
 * Commander: Commanders lead legions. They have a green uniform and have most badges. They carry two tiny Fruit Blasters and a dagger.
 * Sergeant: They lead regiments (one of 5 in a legion). They have a Snowball Machine Gun and a spear. They wear a green uniform.
 * Corporal: They lead squads (one of 20 in a regiment). They have a spear and a snowball pistol. They wear a green uniform.
 * Commando: Commandos are privates who get special training. They have all sorts of weapons like a whip, 4 Ditto Grenades, a snowball rifle, a spear, a dagger and a shuriken. They are normally dressed in black.
 * Private: They are normal troops. They have a snowball machine gun and a dagger. They wear gray uniforms.
 * Cadet: New recruits have this rank until they complete training. They don't have weapons. They wear a gray uniform.

Relationships with Other Nations

 * United Penguin's Republic - Poor. Not well liked for it's democratic belief. However, it's slowly becoming a Democratic-Socialist nation, improving relations.


 * West Pengolia - Very Poor. Stocking up weapons to destroy them.


 * Freezeland - Very Good. Any enemy of Penghis Khan and the "Noob Face" viewpoint is automatically a friend of Triskelle.


 * United States of Antarctica - Bad. Due to the motto pun controversy stated above, the USA thinks East Pengolia is a complete joke and East Pengolia thinks the USA is a cruel example of capitalism gone wrong. Make note that EP is still technically capitalist anyways (they have money).


 * MAI - Bad. They are starting to like this country as it officially recognizes the state as "independent". Simple form? MAI says "this nation exists and is NOT a rip-off. West Pengolia also has trade with the MAI. Their relations were completely devastated in January 2016 with the January Crisis.


 * Turtle Atoll - Good. Though not a true nation, Melvin Turtleheimer had this to say: "I think it's kind of neat. I've ner seen Khanz Penguins so united. It's actually a nice change instead of the unstable hatred they had on Penghis Khan."
 * '''Ed Island "No"

- EDfan12345


 * Caseusopolis - Bad. East Pengolia looks down at Caseusopolis and never buys any of its products. In return, Caseusopolis does not like E.P's Government.


 * Shops Island - Horrible. Shops Island and East Pengolia are bitter enemies, and have gone to war on multiple occasions.


 * United Provinces - Absolutely horrible. Before Christmas 2015 they had OKAY relations but after Christmas 2015 and the January Crisis their relations were completely destroyed.


 * Duck Island - Horrible. Duck Island doesn't like East Pengolia.


 * North Joseon - Good. They are also allies, and East Pengolia is North Joseon's main economic supporter.


 * Acadia - Horrible. Both nations had poor relations when Acadia was still a part of the Free Republic Union, but nevertheless tolerated each other for the sake of unity in the union, although Acadia did secretly plot to assassinate Bolsheevic multiple times and secretly supported East Pengolia's enemies in war. After Acadia left the Free Republic Union in 2016, however, Acadia's hate for the country became unhinged, with Acadia constantly threatening and provoking East Pengolia, which almost led to war between the two countries. Though unable to attack East Pengolia due to the country's membership in the Free Republic Union, Acadia sends around 80 million Fish worth of foreign aid to West Pengolia to fight East Pengolia.


 * However, most everyone loves their anthem.

Inhabitants

 * Khanz Penguins
 * One High Penguin - Vaselii Levski
 * Other Penguins (communists and socialists who have moved here from other countries)
 * worms.

Villains

 * The Khanz Penguins themselves.

Transportation
They use a new, highly-modernized train system with lots of PENGHIS KHAN SUCKS ON LEMONS signs painted all over. Boats rush in and rush out the country's coastline to provide necessities. The national airline is Aeroflore, which took away half of Air Pengolia's fleet.