Agent Meltie and the Wedding Crashers

✅

, otherwise known as The Best Wedding Ever was the event in which Rihanna and James finally tied the knot, bound in holy matrimony. Of course, a wedding as blissful as this isn't complete without someone trying to screw it up.

The event
It all started after Rihanna's proposal. Yes, the fiancé proposed, which makes perfect sense for this unique couple. She was to be betrothed to James "Jim" Crane, a professional singer and snowboarder. She immediately got interested in him at age seventeen, but he didn't go steady so that Agent would be able to "go out" with Metalmanager. Although, Jim and Rih got engaged when they turned twenty-nine, the wedding was made official a year after. Today was the day in which the bride was to arrive and get her makeup done, and she was frantically searching for her dress. She couldn't find it anywhere, so she decided to go casual, which, again, makes perfect sense knowing her eccentric nature.

The bride-to-be drove around looking everywhere for flowers, unsure of whether or not her initial order had gone through to the wedding venue. But little did she know, her siblings and her friends had relocated to the United States of Antarctica, and were having a wonderful picnic out in the warmest weather of the year.

As the years went on, RS and her friends managed to stay together, still bonding over their common interests and spending time with one another. It was nothing short of ideal. The news of this wedding arrived via a phone call during what was initially a pleasant picnic.

Katie looked up to the sun and smiled. She was wearing a giant hat made from Judgie wrappers, and a dress made from bread crumbs. "It's so beautiful today," she remarked. The friends surrounding her nodded. Phineas ate a ham sandwich happily. Lexi sipped her apple tea. Rocket Slug stretched her legs and grabbed an apple, but was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.

"Hello?" she asked, picking it up. The caller was a number she didn't recognize.

"'Dearest Rocket Slug, I hope you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in your hometown, South Pole City!'" an automated voice announced.

Putting the phone on speaker, RS immediately cocked an eyebrow.

"'You will be in charge of planning the ceremony, but nothing would be ideal without the involvement of your closest friends,'" the voice continued. "'Jillymob, I would like you to rejoin Miss Slug's band as the lead singer. You've got a strong voice, and although it's been awhile since you wielded that microphone, you should still do what you love best.'"

Jillymob smiled, admiring the recognition.

"'Chickpenguin, I can think of nobody more qualified than you to host the reception. And knowing you are an amazing cook, Lexi, I want you to be in charge of catering.'"

The two girls beamed, their skills as party hosts and chefs about to come in handy. Lexi finally got the straw out of her beak. "Well, I had better prepare some recipes," she said fondly. "I am the cupcake master, after all."

Rocket smiled, and her brother yawned rudely. "'Phineas, I would very much appreciate it if you would allow me a song. Give this old bird a chance.'"

Phineas laughed. "Who's calling? Sounds like a huge dork."

"'Katie, you will be designing dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids.'"

Katie suddenly felt lightheaded. "D-designing dresses? For a wedding?" She put a flipper to her head, in fear of passing out. "Is it hot out here or what?"

"'And as for you, my dear friend, you will be playing the most important role of all: making sure this entire occasion goes smoothly. Yours, TSP AI.'"

Phineas began to laugh harder. "I was right! A huge dork!"

"But I don't get it!" Rocket wondered aloud. "Who's getting married?"

"'Oh, my apologies, Rocketta! TSP AI cordially invites you to the wedding of James Crane and Rihanna Meltissimo-Slugster.'"

"Your sister is getting married? Congratulations, Rocketta, that is great for her!" Lexi shook RS' limp flipper.

Rocket nodded, still in disbelief. "It is great for her. Really, it is. But I learned it from a phone call where TSP AI let me know at the last minute! And not from her!" She gestured in the direction South Pole City was. "Thanks a lot, Rih. You didn't make time to pop in and see me? And James? Who is James?"

Rocket stood up and took a deep breath, immediately trying to calm herself down. "Sorry. It's just that no matter how negative she was, we always had some kind of sibling connection. So it really just... hurts to be left in the dark like this. I'm extraordinarily happy for her, really, but-"

"What sibling connection?!" Phineas shouted from behind her.

RS ignored it. "You would know! We grew up together. She's my big sister, mortal enemy forever. Y'know?"

Her friends looked on in confusion.

"Never mind that. She moved so far away, so even if there was a chance of reconciling, it would feel too late."

Lexi stood up to face her friend. "But as one of your PFF's-"

The rest of the friends gave a confused look.

"-Penguin Friends Forever?-"

"Oh!"

"-I think your sister probably had her reasons to not reconnect with you."

Rocket scoffed. "As if that makes any sense."

"Well, no time to sit and sulk about it," Phineas piped in, in an attempt to cheer up his sister. "We should just go visit, stay in town, and make sure we can get those two ready for the wedding. You'll get your time to reconnect with her, and it'll be like all of this awkwardness never even happened."

"Yeah," RS said, taking a seat. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

The friends were riding up to South Pole City on a bullet train. Phineas34720 sat in a seat, looking bored and confused at the same time. "Still can't believe TSP AI wants to sing," he mumbled. Rocket glared out the window, her mind racing.

Lexi stood up and waddled towards her friend. "Why the long face, Rocket?"

RS rubbed her flipper on the edge of the seat in front of her and sighed. "I'm just worried... I've been seeing Rih less and less. about Sis. And now that's she's getting married and starting a new family with this James what's-his-face, I might never get to see her again!"

Lexi sat down next to the moody bird. "Well, you're her sister. She will always find time for you."

"Really? Because she didn't seem to make time to tell me about her wedding!" RS pulled down the window shade angrily and turned away, feeling betrayed and concerned. Why wasn't she made aware of something so important? Was the long distance just enough for Rihanna to finally give up on involving her in her life?

It didn't matter anymore, though - they had made it to the city.

"We're here, we're here!" Chickpenguin shouted excitedly as the bullet train made a stop.

"There are an... awful lot of security guards in the area, huh," Phineas mused. "It's just a wedding."

Katie looked over to him. "It's probably just because some people are just plain weird." She gestured to her hat and laughed. "Glad I was allowed, but just to be safe-" She stuffed her illegal headgear into her purse, which was made entirely out of old phone cords. "Now let's get going! We've got a lot to do."

Lexi wavered over to Rocketta. "And you've got a sister to congratulate."

RS rolled her eyes angrily and wandered off in another direction, mumbling.

TSP AI had himself perched atop a building, looking through a telescope. He tilted the telescope down to see his friend, Rocket Slug, and made a cheerful "beep-bop" sound at this discovery. Rocket, meanwhile, was not in the mood to see her friend, but was on the prowl to find this James guy, whomever he was. She ran all around town, looking everywhere. She stopped into shops and houses, looking all over for the groom, but he was right behind her the whole time! RS should have known when she reached into her back pocket for something and felt somebody else behind her instead.

"Rocket! I've missed you, kid," the man said. "How have you been-"

RS finally turned around, determined to strike against this stranger, but was greeted with a familiar face instead. Memories of him hanging out with her in their chickhood returned, and she remembered who he was. His name was James Crane, and he could snowboard and shred the guitar like nobody's business.

"Oh, hi! Didn't realize you were...so...familiar. I thought you were some weirdo my sister got interested in. You know how she gets."

James laughed and smiled. "Yeah, I sure do."

RS immediately remembered why she was there. "But why didn't my sister tell me this? Or you could have told me!"

Jim took a dramatic step back, beginning to walk her into the hotel convocation room where the wedding was held. "Well, anything regarding to the wedding is all your sister's fault if she didn't tell you. I'm not responsible for what she does or doesn't do. But I'm sorry for not reaching out. There's just a lot on my mind."

"I-I think I understand. Being the groom is pretty stressful, I'm sure-"

Jim cocked an eyebrow. "Well, yes, but TSP AI has also detected a threat to the city. We needed additional protection, which explains all the guards around the city. Your sister's been pretty busy too. Does that explain it?"

RS sighed. "Yeah, it does. Sorry I got so mad. Both of you guys are pretty busy and you've got limited time to arrange everything. But why wouldn't she tell me about something that important?" And then, eyes welling up with tears, "D-does she not love me anymore?"

James smiled. "Of course not. She's your sister."

The door creaked open, and a familiar bird stepped in: Agent Meltie. "I hope I'm not interrupting!"

RS smiled as hard as she could. "Hi, sis!"

"And you are?"

Rocket was confused for a second. Agent's her sister after all, the one who put up with all of her antics and was part of Team Rocket Slug in their chickhood. "I'm your younger sister, Rocketta Slugster. The main ringleader of our little group? Y'see, I always thought of you as the straight man/killjoy in our group, but..."

"Whatever."

Rocket gained a shocked look as her sister walked towards her soon-to-be husband, locking arms with him.

"I've gotta get back to work," James said. "Rih will check in with you all later. I'm definitely excited to have you all here. Aren't you, dear?"

Agent smiled deviously. "Absolutely."

They both walk off in the opposite direction, leaving Rocketta standing there, confused.

"What the-"

The former princess-in-hiding of the Happyface Isles was running. No, not running from a predator or anything, just running around to complete her wedding catering tasks. She dabbed the last bit of icing on her cake.

"Cake. Check. Ice sculpture. Check... let's see... Red velvet cupcakes with black filling?"

"Mmmmmm. Check!" Rocketta replied eagerly, taking a generous bite from the cupcake. "These are delicious, Lexi! You're an amazing baker."

"Oh, it's Rihanna Meltie! Hello!" Lexi exclaimed, interrupting her friend as Agent Meltie stepped into the room.

"Please," insisted Rihanna, "call me Agent Rihanna Lymerzo Meltissimo-Slugster."

"Well, hello Agent Rihanna Lymerzo Meltissimo-Slugster!" Lexi replied cheerfully. "Have you come to 'check out' what is on the menu for your wedding day?"

Agent nodded as she grabbed a cupcake. "Delicious!" she lied nervously. "They're... just delicious. Thank you for your hard work."

"Well, why don't you take some to go, then?" suggested Lexi, holding up a bag of the pastries. "You don't want to go hungry!"

Agent nodded and smiled as she walked out the door, subtly dropping the bag of cupcakes into the trash basin behind her.

Rocket was shocked. "Lexi, d-did you see that?"

"Oh, I don't know when my sister changed, but, oh man did she change! We never called her 'Agent Rihanna Lymerzo Meltissimo-Slugster' around the house!" Rocket complained to Katie, who was sewing away on a machine hurriedly.

"Did I just hear someone say my name?" Agent Meltie inquired as she stepped into the room, with three bridesmaids standing by.

Katie blushed. "Y-yes! I'm just so excited to design dresses for you and your bridesmaids." she laughed nervously.

"Uh-huh," Rih replied. "Are they ready yet?"

"Oh, of course!" Katie stammered, stepping forward for the grand reveal. A black, tattered Gothic dress with puffy sleeves, chains, and decorative beaded safety pins was displayed behind her on a mannequin. The veil, made from old fishnet stockings, casually hung on the left shoulder. "I think it's fairly elegant, but just your style too! What do you think?"

AM sneered. "I'm not a fan."

"Oh... I'm sure you'll be convinced after you see the bridesmaids' dresses!" Katie moved a small bed out of the way to reveal three dresses, done up in a similar fashion.

"I'm still not a fan." Agent looked beyond unimpressed. "Could you make them less...blech?"

Katie nodded nervously. "Yes, yes, of course!" She fished out a notebook and began to take note.

"Well, I think they're lovely," the first bridesmaid, Christina, remarked.

"Me, too," exclaimed the second one, Ally.

"I love them," the third one, Mikayla, chimed in.

"They're atrocious," Rih corrected. "Check back in with me later - maybe they won't be as ugly the second time around."

She escorted her bridesmaids out the door. Lexi cocked an eyebrow, but continued writing notes frantically.

"Geez, when did my sister get so dang annoying?" Rocket groaned under her breath.

Chickpenguin and Agent Meltie were standing in a foyer, complete with balloons, streamers, and party poppers. "So we've been over the games and the dances... what's next? Streamers? Balloons? Party fa-"

"No, I think it's perfect!" Agent interrupted. "If you were planning a Mwa Mwa Penguin's birthday party."

Chickpenguin gasped, in genuine disbelief. "That is... the highest praise I think I've ever received!"

The night had began, and TSP AI had gone into sleep mode on the top balcony of the building. He shook himself out of it best he could and began watching over the starry night, where Rocket and her friends were sitting down to glasses of tea and conversation. Much of the security guards in South Pole City had returned home, leaving him to keep watch as he often did.

"I'll bet I can guess what you're all thinking... My sister is a horrible bride!" Rocket Slug declared, slamming down her drink.

"What are you talking about, RS? I've loved designing for her." Katie replied.

"But she was so demanding!"

"Well, of course she was. It's her wedding, after all. Who can blame her for wanting it to be perfect?"

Rocket grunted and turned to Lexi. "And did you know she threw away your cupcakes after she told you they were good?"

"Well, she was probably trying to spare my feelings. It was my first time trying a filling like that," Lexi replied, simply shrugging.

"No," Rocket Slug corrected, "she was just being rude and insincere."

"She did scream at TSP AI during rehearsal-" Jilly began.

"Y'see?" RS interrupted. "That's rude!"

"-but he was really off-key, even for a computer."

"Never mind that." She turned to her brother, Phineas34720. "You agree with me, right?"

"How would I know?" Phineas sneered. "I've been involved in no part of this."

Rocket Slug growled.

"She's about to get married," Katie reassured. "I'd be tense, too, if I were in her boots."

"She is not being tense!" RS shouted. "It's so much more than that. There's something wrong with her, and you're all too caught up in wedding planning to see it!" And with that, she stormed off to go find James. Maybe he would be able to see what she saw. After all, he most likely spent the most time with his bride out of anyone.

Rocket knocked on the door of the groom. He opened the door and smiled.

"Do you think I look nice? This medallion is what I'm planning to wear to the wedding. It's pretty cool, huh?" He held up a silver medallion, letting it glint in the light.

"That is pretty cool, but... we need to talk. I think you're making a big-"

RS suddenly felt a shiver down her spine. She turned around and nearly jumped out of her skin at the sight of her stepsister.

"Oh, hey, Rih," James remarked.

"Could I speak to you for a moment, dear?" Agent Meltie asked fake-sweetly.

James gestured. "I'd better see what she wants. Sorry." He let her in and closed the door behind him.

Rocket, having been an expert eavesdropper since her chickhood, held her ear against the door. If she could just tilt her head a little more, ah, yes! She could hear every word now!

"Look, we need to talk," Rihanna began.

"I'm here to talk," Jim replied.

"I thought we agreed that you weren't wearing that."

"Oh, this medallion?" RS could practically see him strutting his stuff wearing it. "This belonged to my uncle."

"So?"

"So I think I should honor him by wearing it. He was the one who got me into snowboarding, so why not honor him?"

"You're disagreeing with me, huh?"

Jim scoffed. "Well, I guess I am. Listen, we can't keep arguing over silly things like this. But it feels like whatever I do just isn't going to cut it."

"I-"

"I'm done talking tonight. Until you can be rational again, you know where to find me."

He opened the door to see that RS was still standing there, looking as guilty as a chick stealing from the cookie jar. Surprised, Rocketta ran off.

"Rocket!" James called out. "Where'd she go? Looked like she had something to say to me."

"Just let her go," Agent replied, nuzzling against her soon-to-be husband.

James felt his stomach suddenly turn at her affection. He hadn't felt this way before, but he had a feeling RS knew what was going on.

Rocket was still running, finally ending up in one of the hotel rooms that was booked for the wedding. Her jaw dropped at the sight of her friends gathered around in dresses. Even Phineas was in a dress. "I don't look good in this color," he mumbled.

"Why are you all wearing dresses?!" Rocket exclaimed.

"Can you believe it?" Jillymob exclaimed, making her way towards her friend. "We're Agent Rihanna Lymerzo Meltissimo-Slugster's new bridesmaids!"

RS was shocked. "New bridesmaids? But what about her old ones? What happened to them?"

"She never told us," Lexi replied, looking down at her tattered orange dress, a beautiful yet edgy dress the color of an orange Mabelsicle. "But she did tell us that she would love us as last-minute replacements."

"Because we've been working so hard," Katie chimed in, wearing her new purple dress. "And we already know her so well."

"And you thought there was something off about her," Lexi interjected.

"Told ya she was a dream to work with."

"Green really isn't my color!" Phineas repeated.

"Yeah... maybe not. You'd look better in a green suit," Katie replied, pulling out some measuring tape from nowhere.

Rocket looked around, feeling betrayed by her friends. "I guess I'm really on my own, now," she mumbled, stepping outside.

"" TSP AI reassured as the bridesmaids (and Phineas in his spiffy new suit) demonstrated how they would waddle before the bride. ""

Rih entered the room, looking almost as elegant as she would on her wedding day. ""

James looked around, a confused look on his face. "Where is she?"

And as if on cue, Rocket stepped into the room!

"I'm here!" she announced. "I'm not gonna be a part of this if she is going to act like this! And neither should any of you!"

"I'm sorry," Jim subtly whispered to his spouse. "I don't think she should be acting like this."

Agent just groaned in response, rolling her eyes.

"Goodness!" Jillymob exclaimed. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?" Lexi inquired.

Rocket gave her friend a swift slap on the beak in reply, then pointed to the bride. "I've got something to say! She's evil!"

Everybody in the room gasped at this accusation. TSP AI just made an error noise in response.

"She's been horrible to my friends," Rocket continued, "she's obviously killed off her bridesmaids, and what's more, she just keeps arguing with her soon-to-be husband! She's got bad vibes all around. I'm not going to be part of this wedding."

Agent broke down into tears suddenly, her mascara running. "Why are you doing this to me?!"

"Because you're evil!" Rocket replied. "And if I don't stop you, you'll ruin James' life!"

Agent ran off, tears streaming down her face. RS turned to James, expecting him to congratulate her or at least thank her for saving him. But he looked about ready to blow.

"Do you know why we fought?" he asked angrily. "Because this wedding has been so intense for us. South Pole City may or may not be at risk of some kind of attack, so forgive us for tensions being high!

"I just-"

"And she decided to replace her bridesmaids because they were only concerned with the glamor of the wedding, not the event itself! And she's just so tense because I've been so busy and she's had to make all of the wedding decisions!"

"But-"

"She's wanted to make this perfect. She has so many choices to make! And now that you've drove her out of her own wedding rehearsal, there's no reason for you to even go to the wedding anymore. Even if you are her sister."

James left the room and Rocket's friends followed.

"" TSP AI messaged as he slammed the door. RS sat on the floor, actually thinking-a lot. It felt like forever before the door opened and Agent stepped in. She gingerly smoothed down her sister's hair, trying to calm her.

"I'm sorry," Rocket mumbled sincerely.

"As am I."

Agent Meltie's eyes began to glow green, more so than her natural color. The green in her eyes turned to flames, flames that submerged and engulfed her sister in a burning dome. Agent turned around, seeing as she was finished with the job at hand, and waddled off, smirking.

The green flames from before had sent Rocket somewhere she had never imagined possible. She had seen quite the myriad of strange things and places in her time, but this was something different. She found herself in a deep and dark cave, surrounded only by dripping stalactites and gemstones. She was alone. She was terrified out of her mind. "Where am I?" she asked. Her voice echoed loudly behind her, making her feel slightly less alone.

Suddenly, Agent's image appeared on a few of the glistening gems. "You're in the cave beneath South Pole City. Once home to greedy creatures who wanted to trade in the gems for money. And now, it's your prison!"

"Help!" RS shouted.

Agent Meltie cackled. "It's no use. No one will hear you. No one will find you." Her image began moving across the gems. "Some penguins have forgotten that this cave exists. And that's why it's the perfect place to incarcerate birds who interfere with my plans!"

She began cackling again, tilting her head back. Rocketta could only see her beak spanning across the gems.

"Plans?" Rocket inquired.

"Oh, right..." Agent blew off the plans like they were nothing, then shrugged overdramatically. "I'm just planning to mentally drain your sister's groom from the inside-out. No biggie."

Rocket got her fighting fists readied, her game face on. "Don't hurt James, you monster!" She threw a punch at the wall.

"You gotta catch me first!" Agent replied. "I'm over here!"

RS turned around and saw that Agent's image was reflected on the wall of gems behind her. She threw another punch and cringed, for the hardness of the wall had injured her right flipper.

"Nope, I'm over here!"

Rocket punched and kicked, but this monster just didn't give up. Finally, a wall of gems shattered, revealing the culprit behind the whole thing. RS tackled her.

"Don't hurt me!" Rih insisted. "I-it's me, your sister. I've been imprisoned, too. The Agent Meltie who brought you down here was an imposter."

Rocket snorted, but loosened her grip on the bird's shoulders. "Seems like a likely story."

"Honestly!" Rih shouted. "RS, I'm being serious here."

"Tell me something only the real Agent Meltie would know." RS shifted her weight, thinking for a moment. "What is the name of Fire and Ice's first album?"

"Explosion!"

"Released in..."

"2011. Now please - I don't care if you believe me or not. Just help me out of here."

RS felt her beak curl up into a smile as she helped the older girl to her feet. "It's okay. I think that was enough to believe you. I'm sorry for doubting you before."

The echo of the fake Agent Meltie's laughter rang through the cave.

"But we can't sit around and reminisce." Rocket Slug tightened her grip around Agent's flipper. "We've got to find a way out."

"" TSP AI recited mechanically, ""

His voice rang out through the cave beneath South Pole City.

"Oh, we're never going to save him," Agent noted.

"We will," her sister corrected. "Where there's a will, right?"

Even with that heroic quote at her disposal, her heart still raced. RS wasn't really sure of anything here - she had never been in a cave, let alone one in South Pole City. She turned to a certain area of the cave and began waddling there, gesturing for AM to follow. They were stopped by three penguins that Agent immediately recognized.

"Christina, Ally, Mikayla, you're looking well," Agent said flatly, as if she wasn't taken aback by this revelation at all. "Wait, y-you're my bridesmaids. Why are you here?"

The three only inched closer, their eyes glowing green.

""

"STOP!" Rocket shouted, stepping in through the door.

"Why does she have to ruin my special day?" The fake Agent Meltie burst into tears about as fake as her personality.

"Because it's not your special day. It's mine," the real bride announced.

"What?! But how did you escape my bridesmaids?"

"Oh, that," Rocket was stifling a laugh. "Well, the thing is... we threw a bouquet at them."

"That's..." The imposter paused for a moment. "That's awfully clever. But you're still too late."

"I don't understand," Lexi thought out loud. "There are two brides?! Oh man, am I hallucinating or something?"

"No, I think she's a Waddling. She takes the form of someone intelligent and begins draining the minds of all creatures around her," Agent Meltie said.

Suddenly, a familiar green flame began engulfing the fake bride. Her black flippers turned to white. Her teeth grew longer and sharper. Her red hair turned a shade of turquoise. Surely enough, there she was, the Queen of the Waddlings!

"Right you are, Agent," Queen hissed in a venomous voice, twirling her turquoise hair with her tattered flippers. "And as queen of the Waddlings, it is up to me to find sustenance and guide my troops well. South Pole City has more intelligence than any place I've ever encountered. My fellow Waddlings will be able to devour so much of it, and we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of!" She tossed her head back and laughed evilly.

"But they'll never get the chance!" Agent shouted. "The city's protection won't even give you a chance."

The queen cackled again. "Oh, I doubt that. We're here already."

Agent was silent. The queen did raise a good point.

"Now, no more interference. You don't want to go back to the caves, now do you? Ever since I took your place, I've been feeding off of the intelligence and knowledge of this city. And James may not be my husband, but he is my first victim." As the queen said this, she pulled the man in closer. "And, I'm sorry to say, but this city was unable to defend itself from the start. Do you see how easy it was for us to infiltrate it?"

Agent Meltie felt tears well up in her eyes. "No!" was all she could say.

"Soon, my army will break through. First, we take South Pole City. Then, the entire world! Ahahahaha!"

TSP AI wheeled himself in front of the queen, pushing Agent back a bit. ""

The crowd grew silent. His wheels squeaked as he moved in dangerously close. ""

"Oh, y'wanna go right now, huh?" The queen fired up her magic rays and zapped the computer. His monitor cracked and he fell to the floor with a mighty BANG.

"TSP AI!" the crowd gasped in unison.

"I guess this intelligence was stronger than I thought. And now I am more powerful than TSP AI!"

Rocket Slug gathered her friends and they ran off to defeat the Waddling army.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" The queen shouted after them, cackling.

"Go!" Rocket shouted as she dodged the Waddlings all around her. They began taking the places of the penguins around them. Soon, she found herself surrounded by fake Lexis and Katies.

"How did they-" Phineas34720 began, but he was stopped by the magical sounds of Waddlings shape-shifting all around him.

"They're Waddlings, remember?" Rocket Slug reminded her brother.

"They're Waddlings, remember?" her clones repeated.

"Don't let them distract you!" Lexi shouted. "We have got to set this right!"

So the six birds fought the Waddlings in some sort of epic-brawl-battle. Punches and kicks were thrown. Soon, all of the Waddlings in sight were defeated.

"But wait! There's more!" Chickpenguin shouted, looking around her. More Waddlings had begun to fill in the gaps, multiplying by the dozen.

"Oh, crap," RS groaned.

"You won't get away with this!" Agent pleaded. "My sister and her friends will-"

As if on cue, she was interrupted by the front doors of the building opening. A swarm of Waddlings dropped the penguins into the room, defeated and exhausted.

"You were saying?" the Queen added. Then she turned to the army. "Don't you know? The wedding's been cancelled! Now is our time!"

The army left in swarms. It was hopeless.

"It's funny, really," the Queen began, "Little Rocket Slug here was suspicious of my behavior all along! Too bad the rest of you were so wrapped up in planning the wedding to see that the suspicions were correct!"

"I'm sorry, Rocketta," Lexi said. "We should have listened to you."

"It's not your fault," RS replied, but deep down she still harbored a bit of resentment for all of that. "She fooled everyone."

The Queen laughed. "I did, didn't I? And this wedding, it's been just perfect."

"Hey, that's sort of like what I said before we got here!" Chickpenguin mused.

"But this wedding is all over now!" the evil queen continued.

"Get in there, Jim!" Rocket shouted. "Just do it!"

"And what good would that do?" the Waddling queen replied. "Nothing he could do would hold me back. The deed has been done."

Despite the comment, James picked up a small acoustic guitar clearly intended to be played during the reception, and tried to strum a note. The guitar fell from his flippers.

"I-I can't do it. I've just ... been drained too much."

"My mind will give you strength!" Agent Meltie began. She leaned in closer to her beau, nuzzling against his beak.

"What a lovely although ridiculous sentiment!" The Queen began to cackle. But she didn't see the true power of a couple like those two. With Agent's reassuring words in his mind, James ran up to the Waddling queen and bashed his guitar over her head with a mighty CRACK. She fell to the ground, whisked away immediately by the security that had been standing on call. And as for TSP AI, he slowly rose to his feet (um, wheels) immediately after, with the help of his good friend Rocket Slug.

""

In due time, a perfect last-minute wedding had been created by Rocket and her friends. Phineas' new green suit was looking even better than it did before, the bride finally found her dress (she was having it tailored at the venue the whole time!), and everyone was around to see the perfect moment. Everything seemed to be in order. The Waddlings had been kicked into next week and the real bride was here to experience her wedding. Rocket, coming down the aisle first as the bridesmaid, began to play the Bridal Chorus on an electric guitar.

"Here comes the bride, big, fat, and wiiiiiiiiiiiiide..." she sang out. The crowd gasped, for RS had performed the second most uncouth wedding action (the first being the previous Waddling infestation). As she realized her mistake, she slapped her flipper over her beak and began to play the familiar tune without the rude lyrics, even though she still continued laughing to herself throughout the instrumental tune.

"My bad!"

""

"Rihanna Meltie is fine," the bride interrupted. If TSP AI were still in his penguin body, he would have given her the staredown, but he ceased fire this time.

" "

A puffle ring bearer had them on a small cushion. Jim grabbed the rings and placed one on his bride's right flipper, then his own on his left.

""

James gave Rih one quick kiss, then stuck around for a longer one. The crowd began to cheer. TSP AI made his way towards Rocket and her buddies.

""

The wedding was over, but the after-party had just begun. A slow, melodic piano tune was playing softly as the bride and groom danced the night away. Rocket Slug nodded to Jillymob, who held up a microphone. RS strapped her guitar back on, Phineas spun the drumsticks, and Lexi grabbed her bongos. Fire and Ice took the stage once again, but this time, with TSP AI singing backup.

''The melody began as an upbeat, poppy tune. Song: I Am a Heart, by Hey Ocean!''

I am a heart that's hard to pin

You are an arrow sticking in

I pull you out and put you down

With all the others scattered 'round

You turn to roots, a tree and grow

I am a heart that's hard to pin

I am a heart that's hard to pin

You dig a hole and I fall in

But I'm still beating underground

Down here you think I won't be found

I won't give up that easy though

My heart's a seed, a tree will grow

My bark will be a thicker skin

I am a heart that's hard to pin

No, you can't win

Mine is just a little hard

Hard to pin

I am a heart that's hard to pin

You are an arrow sticking in

To pin me down's the hardest part

After the wedding and the after-party, everybody was well on their way home. It was getting pretty late way past time the time for a teenaged RS to be in bed. But she was twenty-two now and used to staying up late, There was no doubt about it, though, the day's events had exhausted her.

"Thank you so much," James remarked.

"It wouldn't have been a wedding without you, sis. Love you," Agent chimed in.

Rocket smiled and a single tear welled up in her eyes, either from tiredness or happiness or both. It was hard to tell by this point. "I love you too, sis."

James sat in the car and gestured for his wife to get in. "Are we ready yet?"

Agent nodded and took half a step in before realizing something. "Wait a minute. I forgot about this." She gestured to the bouquet of black roses in her flipper. The driver of the car rolled down the sunroof, and the bride tossed it backwards into a crowd of female guests and bridesmaids. Katie pushed her way through, as she had never caught the bouquet at a wedding before.

"It's mine! My preciousssssssss..." The bouquet finally landed in her flippers, but another female guest snapped it up. Katie chuckled nervously and looked the other way.

The bride and groom waved their goodbyes to the wedding patrons, cans and streamers rattling from their back bumper as they headed to their well-deserved honeymoon.

Result
Jim and Rihanna, now married, brought two children home named Bertha and Damien. Five years later, another penguin was hatched into the Crane family. Her name was Rocketeer, after RS.