The Absurd Mission/Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: A Badly Botched Breakout
(Perspective switch!)

Clovis and Dave clicked the buttons in the correct order. Leonardo and about 4 normal agents stood by.

Clovis looked nervous.

"Dave, I think they're going to be ready for us. What level are the prison cells?"

"Around level 8, I think. Near the armory."

Clovis shuddered. "I KNOW this is a trap. We're walking STRAIGHT INTO A TRAP."

Dave laughed.

"Relax, dude. We've always gotten away."

Leonardo seemed a bit nervous also.

"Yeah, but they've stepped up their game from last time. A lot. They got all of the others together, IN ONE SPOT, and they defeated them all. And they have new weapons. I've heard they've got a fellow named Fraz and a giant bus."

Dave laughed.

"Bah, this will be a cinch. Run in, run out with our friends. It always works!"

Clovis thought otherwise. The probe came out.

"Dave Hochstadt."

The elevator hatch opened, and they all leapt in.

The elevator went down to Floor 8, and it dinged open.

There was nothing. All the prison cells were empty. Every single one.

"What the HECK?!?" said Dave.

They looked around. No weapons. No armor. No prisoners. The room had been looted!

And the elevator closed shut behind them.

"Huh?" said one of the agents.

Then, a horrible looking thing came out of the darkness near the closet. It was a giant metallic robot, with a dangerous looking metallic weapon, and a horrible red robotic eye.

"IT'S A TRAP!" screamed one of the newer agents, and he ran away towards the elevator door.

"IT'S LOCKED!"

The robot got closer.

"PREPARE TO BE EXTERMINATED!" Rex's voice resounded through the speakerphone. The robot came towards them. Clovis pulled out his Katana and attempted to stab it through.

"Ha, nice try! This is made out of titanium and iron. Good luck breaking this!"

Three of the agents dropped their rifles and raised up their hands.

"YOU COWARDS!" cried Dave, as Rex in the Metaltron chased him around the room, shooting electrical blasts at him.

Rex laughed evilly as he knocked out the other two agents.

Austin's voice resounded through the speakerphone.

"Ha, you cowards. You can't even beat Rex!"

Dave's veins throbbed.

"I. AM. NOT. A. COWARD!!!!" he screamed, and he lifted up an IRON CABINET and hurled it at the Metaltron. It hit the Metaltron, and knocked it over.

"Ah, crud, this thing can't get back up, and I can't open the door. I'm DEFEATED?!?" Rex said in disbelief as the Metaltron toppled over onto the floor.

Dave stepped onto the fallen Metaltron and stared into the camera.

"I'm coming for you next!"

SN, Austin, Java, and Johnathan all shuddered at the same time.

Dave and Clovis grabbed an RDA Gun off the wall and welded a hole into the elevator. Dave clicked F6.

"The lunch room?"

Dave gestured to the three agents who had dropped their guns.

"Don't be cowards. We're heading down to the RDA lunch room. There's going to be danger there for certain. Clovis and one of you should head up to the Barracks."

Clovis shuddered.

"Splitting up? Dave, that's a BAAAD idea."

"Heck, they're probably splitting up the captives too. Look, I think this time they're prepared, ready, armed, and they've got the upper hand."

They split up. First, Dave and the two agents with him went to the lunch room.

"Nobody here... Either. You! Check the closets."

Suddenly, three blasts of Ditto Snowballs flew right next to him. Dave spun around, but nobody was there.

One of the EPF Agents realized what was wrong.

"OH CRUD, HE'S GOTTA CLOAKING DEVICE!"

Austin laughed through the microphone.

"Nice guess. But NO."

Suddenly, Dave turned and looked through the corner of his eye. Behind him were two ninjas, mostly disguised. Dave could barely see them.

He flew at one of the ninjas and shot him in the face with a banana blaster. The Ninja went flying backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.

"So you've discovered the ninjas? They were a present from Pen Chi. We helped him escape, and he said we could use a few of his ninjas if we wanted."

Dave and the two agents looked around, trying to see the other one. One of the agents fell to the floor, suddenly. Both the others jumped.

"Check vitals! Is he alive?"

"Yeah, he's fine. They seem to want to take us all prisoner."

Dave spun around.

"There's gotta be something else in this room. This is too easy."

Suddenly, two nozzles appeared out of the walls.

"Right you are!" said Austin through the speaker, and ditto gas sprayed out.

Dave and the other agent ran into the elevator at light speed, knocking tables over on their way.

He radioed up to Clovis.

"CLOVIS, THIS IS DAVE. EVERY LEVEL IS A TRAP OF SOME SORT. WE'RE DOWN TO FOUR MEMBERS. REPEAT, EVERY LEVEL IS A TRAP."

"Dave, this is Clovis. We're approaching level 2 now."

Clovis's Perspective

Clovis and the other agent reached the Shooting Range on Level 2 by climbing up the elevator cables.

"Okay, Dave, we don't see anyone. It's a hallway with two rooms."

"Be wary."

The other agent checked the door.

"Nothing in this one."

He walked to the other door, and then suddenly flew back, blasted with several ditto snowballs to the head.

RDA Troopers flew out of the shooting range, blasting at Clovis.

"DAVE, IT'S A TRAP!"

"I TOLD YOU THAT!"

"DON'T MOVE THE ELEVATOR UP OR YOU'LL KILL ME!" cried Clovis, as he leapt down the elevator chute, wall jumping.

"Gotcha, Clovis."

The RDA Troopers peered down the chute.

"Do you think he's dead?"

"Nah, he's a Hochstadt. They're High Penguin and favored by the universe."

".... Well, phone in with Austin. Tell him they'll be at Floor 12 soon.

Dave's Perspective

Dave slowly lowered himself down the floors. Apparently, the Snoss only had time to booby trap a couple of floors. Nobody was in any of the information floors. That meant they were either on Floor 4, Floor 11, or Floor 12.

He grabbed his battered radio.

"Clovis, check Floor 4. I'll get 11 and 12."

"Gotcha, Dave. I think we should just get out of here."

Dave shook his head and turned off the walkie-talkie, as he crept into Floor 11. The Experimental Room. Huh, nothing here. Just... What was that black stuff? X-Virus? That wasn't good. If the Snoss were messing around with X-Virus, and got a variant which would serve them..."

His thoughts were quickly stopped when he heard noises nearby. He turned around. There was a squad of War Bots right behind him.

"Well, back to the scrap heap you go!" he cried as he kicked one and smashed another into the wall. He kept fighting them. The War Bots were unarmed, so he wasn't sure what's going on."

Austin was eagerly anticipating what came next. He walked back and forth, pacing. If his plan went right, then hopefully the mind control chip XTUX had lent him would work.

He aimed at Gottfried. SN stared.

"Austin, are you SURE this will work?"

"Yes, I'm SURE." Austin said, rolling his eyes.

He shot Gottfried with it, and Gottfried stood up.

"Your wish is my command."

"Good! Go capture Dave."

Gottfried headed to Floor 11.

Meanwhile

Clovis checked out Floor 4. Just a few stasis chambers and guns on the wall.

He didn't notice a gun barrel sticking out of the cabinet.

BANG!

Clovis slumped to the floor.

Dave stopped. He had heard a bang on the other side of the radio. The last War Bot had been destroyed easily.

"Clovis?"

No answer.

"Clovis?"

Still no answer.

"Clovis?!?"

He heard Johnathan's voice through the radio.

"You're not going to be talking to him that much in jail. Or when he's knocked out."

Dave spun around. This situation was horrible. All the agents were knocked out, Clovis was knocked out or dead, and he was in a base filled with enemies.

Well, he'd just check Floor 12.

Floor 12, Austin and SN's Perspective

"Say, why'd you put a big jacuzzi in a RDA Base anyway?"

"Uhhh.... Vacation!"

Austin looked around.

"A perfume bottle?"

"Er.... Well, ladies love when I smell like that."

Austin suspected something was up.

"A PURSE?"

"That's Maddieworld's."

Suddenly, Dave kicked down the door, aiming his gun at Austin and Swiss. SN quivered and ducked.

"You wouldn't dare shoot me! Do you know who you're dealing with?"

Austin laughed maliciously.

"Get em, Gottfried!"

Gottfried suddenly ran at Dave with his sword. Dave ducked, and started running away.

"You're running away? Here, this should make things easier."

Austin threw a sword at Dave. It whizzed by him, cutting him slightly.

"There's yours!"

Dave picked it up and started dueling with Gottfried. This was hopeless! Gottfried was a professional swordfighter, and, well, he didn't know how to swordfight. Desperately, he shoved Gottfried in the pool.

"Ey! Those microchips are expensive!" cried Austin. "Now I'll deal with you myself!"

He grabbed a Maverick Snow Blaster and shot Gottfried in the head.

"Now, Dave, you're hopeless. I'm a professional. You're an agent. I beat Fisch, WITH THE SENSEI STATE. You've got no chance."

Suddenly, Dave's eyes whizzed to the cages in the back of the room. There were the Hochstadts!

The sensei state... Of course, that was it!

Austin cut into his thinking.

"Err.... Crud. SN, you still have the Sensei State?"

"NO! He took it away!"

"Crud."

Austin pulled out a green flag and threw it at Dave.

Dave was confused, until the 30 RDA Troopers dropped from the roof.

"And if you've been wondering, THAT's where the RDA Troopers are."

Dave shot a massive fireball at Austin, but he dodged it. Then, he shot ice beams at the RDA Soldiers. He hit a lot of them, and they tumbled off the ropes, frozen.



"That's gonna hurt." said Austin. Unluckily, he stopped paying attention, and Dave hit him flying with a blast of water. SN angrily ran over to the slushie stand and started... Throwing slushies at Dave. Not really a threat, but all the fire, ditto snowballs, and deletion rays that were being shot out of the RDA Soldiers were. He ran over to the cages and busted one open. Yilk and Piper escaped, but they were shot down by all the missles flying. Piper nearly was deleted, but it only deleted most of his hair.

"I'M BALD!" he screamed, as he was knocked out. Then, Dave busted open two more cages. Corai and Brendan were let out of this one, and Corai made it out to the exit and into the elevator which closed. Brendan wasn't so lucky.

"STOP THEM!" screamed SN.

Dave felt dizzy. Even in the sensei state, he couldn't stand all this fire for long. He broke open another cage, and Vickers and Fuut-Ga leapt out. Vickers also made it to the elevator, but Fuut-Ga was shot down also. Dave felt the Sensei State wearing off. Crud. He had to go. He blasted open one last cage, and Jock leapt out to be pummeled.

Dave ran towards the exit, and leapt into the elevator with Corai and Vickers.

"Okay, we're going to stop at floor 4." said Dave.

The elevator dinged, and Dave got a sight of Johnathan standing on Clovis with his gun barrel pointed into the elevator. He shot twice, hitting Vickers before Dave pummeled him with a blast of ice. Dave grabbed the unconcious Clovis, and the Elevator dinged up again.

In the Recycling Center, waiting for them, were Leonardo, Rookie, and a couple more agents.

"I see you rescued Corai, leader of Chi Con and this puffle here. Good job. Where'd all my agents go?" said the head agent.

Dave gasped out from exhaustion and fell down.

"Agents... Knocked out... Ninjas, Austin, Metaltron... Swiss Ninja..."

Leonardo signaled for the agents to carry off Dave and Clovis. He talked to Corai.

"What happened?"

"They-they booby trapped the w-w-w-hole place. I'm never coming to this recycling center again."

Leonardo suddenly got a message.

"Dear Leonardo (I know you're up there), this is Swiss Ninja. We'll offer up your silly gang as hostages. Here are the prices.

Gottfried: 50,000

Piper: 60,000

Fuut-Ga:70,000

Brendan:80,000

Yilk: 20,000

Jock: 90,000

Fisch is not for ransom. After you buy the other members, we'll meet you at Diamond Falls to trade two of you for Fisch and Jock. They will be our prisoners for several months, and we promise they will not be killed. D'ya get it, puffle?"

Leonardo groaned.

"They're offering them as HOSTAGES. This will cost a ton!"

Jet Pack Guy stepped out from the large group of agents.

"The EPF won't pay for your friends, but maybe others can."

Leonardo groaned again.

He messaged SN.

"We'll buy Jock and Piper. I'll give you the check at the Volcano. Bring the others."

Wiona, who was near by, disguised phoned Austin. Fraz also called.

"The EPF apparently won't pay for the Hochstadts. Huh, I wonder why. They've done a lot, according to Dorothea."

"Enh. They're like that. Thanks for all you've done, Fraz. You can probably go now-after all, at this point it's just transactions. It's been great meeting you!"

SN suddenly interuppted.

"And you all get free SN plushies and propaganda posters!"

Austin, Fraz, and all the passengers of the bus rolled their eyes. Clarence looked at the poster.

"Those posters are snoss so great."

"CLARENCE."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

Below, Austin and SN high fived. This had worked PERFECTLY. They had WON.

Or so they thought.