Illumination-Looking Luxurious Underminer Masterfully Inceptively Not A Triangle Interstellar

"Half of your life will never happen thrice."

- The Illumination-Looking Luxurious Underminer Masterfully Inceptively Not A Triangle Interstellar

The Illumination-Looking Luxurious Underminer Masterfully Inceptively Not A Triangle Interstellar, usually shortened down to the Illuminati, is a mysterious triangular being that roams Antarctica, traveling through space and time, slowly collecting fragments of the past. Unlike the rather good-natured mr skeltal, the Illuminati is pure evil and talks of taking over the world. He's so evil, that he doesn't thank said mr skeltal. So far, there have been no signs of it taking any direct action, but many conspiracy theorists believe that someday it will, indeed, take over the world.

Origins
Centuries ago, a random guy literally named Batman Illuminati rose to bring chaos to the world. He would gather an army of weird faces that look like this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and flip tables, taking all 40 cakes on them.

It didn't work.

Ironically enough, Illuminati was behind in the times and had no idea that guns existed, and was 360 noscoped in one shot. Nothing really important happened and he faded out into history as his opposition trolled his corpse with "u mad bro"s and telling him to deal with it. However, as fate would have it, one random guy decided that he would make a book of the world's weirdest penguins- expectedly called The World's Weirdest Penguins- and included Illuminati. That book failed to sell much, and only 1337 copies were sold.

In 2010, however, things began to change. A trio of scientists were creating a triangle that would solve all the questions in the world. As one of their ingredients, they tore apart a first-release copy of The World's Weirdest Penguins and tossed them into a blender. However, during the process, one of them accidentally entered the code "U WOT M8", causing an invalid argument that resulted in the triangle absorbing the only pages left: the ones on Illuminati. It was a trap- the evil plans of the world's weirdest man was engulfed by the triangle. Naming itself the Illumination-Looking Luxurious Underminer Masterfully Inceptively Not A Triangle Interstellar, it screeched CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and boom headshotted the three scientists with one bullet, yelling "Oooh baby, a triple!" in victory.

Present time
The Illuminati always goes around saying how he will take over the world in "the most MLG way possible". No action has been taken so some just brush it off as nothing, but just as many believe the stories to be true.

He claims that he has an extremely high body count and has deleted countless characters, places, and general nouns out of continuity. No one can confirm or deconfirm this since if these characters in fact did exist before, nobody remembers them now.

More Coming Soon

Involvement
The Illuminati is very prominent in many penguins' minds, either as a joke or as a serious issue. There have been many viral videos and video games mocking the Illuminati and those who believe its stories.

Most penguins think the Illuminati is unstoppable, but it is prophesized that in many years in a galaxy far, far away, the greatest hero in the universe will take it down by- (DATA CORRUPTED)

Rumored Abilities
Do remember that none of these have been confirmed. Or have they? If these rumors are in fact true, the Illuminati is the most powerful villain in the CPFW universe, even surpassing the likes of the King of Sorrow and Super Nightmare.


 * Boom Headshot: Shoots multiple targets with one bullet somehow.
 * Wombo Combo: Although it has the same name as Super DaiBouken's finisher, if legends are true, it's much more lethal. It consists of rapidly attacking you to raise your current damage by 77% before killing you if you don't escape or break the combo.
 * Zerg Rush: Shoots a metric ton of arrows at you.
 * Barrel Roll: Quickly begins rotating in an aileron roll, then comes at you.
 * Arrow to the Knee: Shoots an arrow at a penguin's knee. However, since penguins don't have knees, it causes an ultimatum paradox that ends the existence of the target.
 * 2spoopy: Removes the penguin's skeleton from its body and turns it into an evil minion.
 * FUS RO DAH: Fires a beam that stuns and pushes you.
 * Shoop Da Whoop: Fires a blast of absolute disintegration and death.
 * REKT: Completely deletes the penguin from existence, removes all memories of it, and undos every insignificant thing the penguin has done.
 * SHREKT: A much more devastating version of "REKT". It does everything REKT does, but instead of deleting penguins, it turns them into a blind, deaf, and mute ogre.
 * Power Level: the Illuminati scans the rival's power level, and then sends in a beam of 9000s to hurt them.
 * Lenny: Summons a horde of Lenny emotes, said to be one of the Illuminati's original abilities.
 * Table Flip: Flips a table into existence, throwing it at the opponent. Said to be one of the Illuminati's original abilities.
 * Meme Run: Last ditch attack. All abilities from a certain database are pulled into the Illuminati to cause an insane armageddon.

Forms
More rumors sprout from its supposed different phases.


 * Phase 1: Everyone keeps saying the Illuminati will control Ultimate ProtoBot 10,000 somehow, and that will be its first phase.
 * Phase 2: This is its current phase. It would theoretically use weaker versions of the attacks listed above.
 * Phase 7: There is no Phase 3-6. Phase 7? Alright. Let's check it out. The last obstacle to its ultimate Alpha form. After rebooting, the Illuminati is restricted to a smaller, yet more powerful arsenal. In particular, he can use a unique "GRAND DAD" attack.
 * Alpha Phase: Its final form. After yelling and screaming a lot, the Illuminati turns into a blue triangular pyramid with eyes on each side. The two eyes on the rear of this form sprout the wings of Dark Pit a dark angel.

Themes
Some crazy people decided to make these in case the Illuminati actually had the forms listed above.

Quotes

 * "Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end." -The great prophecy
 * "You're a kid now, you're a squid now, you're a kid you're a squid you're a kid you're a squid..." -The enchantment spell for the SHREKT ability.
 * "I am the greatest being in the universe. Please understand."
 * "Not bad."
 * "NO."
 * "YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER FACE!"
 * "I. HATE. TAXES."
 * "TODOKETE"
 * "GRAND DAD?!"
 * "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Some random guy (looking at Illuminati): What is this thing?

Illuminati: IT'S. THE. NUTSHACK.

Penguin Band: Here we come

Straight into the unknown

In search of the next big treasure

All for one and one for all

Is our code cause us pirates always stick together

So-

Illuminati: THEY'RE FINALLY HERE

PERFORMING FOR YOU

IF YOU KNOW THE WORDS

YOU CAN JOIN IN TOO

Trivia

 * This article is a tribute to memes around the world.
 * If you absolutely want to know, the Illuminati's fighting style is rumored to be the same style as this guy and this guy.
 * The phase 2 theme is specifically that music because of a Youtube comment from said video.
 * It made a cameo in PAPER FANON (game). This is not an accurate representation of its power.
 * In case you haven't realized yet, this page is far from factual. The Club Penguin Fanon Wiki does not support any conspiracy theories related to the Illuminati and as such this page should not be used as proof of anything.