The Great Paffle Raid

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This tale is a short tale told to paffle kids or hopeful Peach trainees, showing how no one should be underestimated. Note: all chapter numbers are in German due to an error in chapter heading. It may have been due to a translation of the original script that was written in Snowzerland or Alemania.

PROLOG: A Paffle Diary
This chapter is taken from the diary of Ah Neta Peystrii

August 14, 2012

I'm so excited!! Tomorrow we raid Peach Industries and take all the PeystreePawkets! Every paffle is going! The cannons are ready, The twigs sharpened... and out of some deletion crystals, our elders fashioned what they call "deletion javelins!" I can hardly wait!

Quadruple tilde,

Ah N. PeyStrii

CHAPTER EIN: A Rainbow Blob King
August, 15, 2012 12:34 AM

The lazy ruler of paffles, Kingsonn Rainbaffle, had been restless the previous night. He was anxious for the raid on Peach at 11:45 AM and was staring at the TV in his small yet elegant igloo. He flipped through the channels until he found All This on "Pinwheel," his favorite comedy program. A white puffle informant suddenly walked through the door. "Sir," he said, "shouldn't you be getting rest for the big day?"

"Whitey," Kingsonn mumbled, "TODAY is the day.. check the time... check... th...e...zzzzzz"

Kingsonn had dozed off... just as a loud crash and a giant icePod appeared in front of the igloo...

CHAPTER ZWEI: Wake-up call
August 15, 2012 9:34 AM

The alarm surprised Whitey. He looked at the time. 9:34 AM. Whitey walked out and saw no giant icePod, just a village meeting for BLU village.

Whitey lived in RED village. RED and BLU are allies, and so, they are joining forces for the raid. BLU village always had better technology. What the meeting was most likely about was a schematic for a deletion harpoon, which could be propelled with enough force to instantly delete a target.

Whitey didn't really care for this. What he REALLY cared for then was a PeystreePawkit. Or, more specifically, the PeystreePawkits behind Peach Industries's doors. Suddenly, he remembered he had a job to do. A job that would, if done wrong, turn this mission into pure failure.

CHAPTER DREI: Begin the Raid
August 15, 2012 10:30 AM

Kingsonn looked over the shrub. The Peach factory lay in range. He spotted a guard.

"ARCHERS READY!"

Every archer paffle loaded a deletion javelin into his or her bow.

"FIRE!"

The guard ate an ice cream cone. Nothing was happening today. He was so glad he was retiring tomorrow. He heard a whizzing sound and looked up.

A rain of deletion javelins falling on the guard outpost.

"Why does this always happen to the people who are about to retire?"

CHAPTER VIER: Peach Inside
Everyone was making good progress, almost all the quotas were filled, and the HawtPawkit branch was filling up the quota for next year! Suddenly, a light shone through, coming from the do- "What happened to the door?"

This was an unfortunate worker's last words before he got deleted. Everyone stared at the intruders at the door. They were like puffles, but... giant. Could this be the "paffle experiment" G sometimes talked about?

The paffles were the first ones to move. Seeing that they underestimated the number of workers, some of them used other forms of attack. Rainbaffle rolled himself like a bowling ball into several burly penguins who seemed to be able to resist deletion more. Numerous paffles made themselves into a cannon and started firing other paffles at penguins.

Deletion javelins were finally out. All of the paffles were too tired to continue fighting. There was only one person who hadn't been deleted or fled...

LETZTE KAPITEL
The only one willing to put up a fight anymore was the informant, Whitey. The penguin had wandered into Peach when trying to go to Snowzerland (how does one even do that?) The rather diminutive penguin held in his hand a deletion javelin, quite possibly fired by the worst shot known to pafflekind. "You can't run, or you shall have failed your paffle begleiter. (Note: companions in German) You can't hide, because the factory is round and the equipment is low to the grou..."

This penguin learned his lesson about giving long monologues. He was struck by a cart containing half of 2013's quota. The white puffle started to load his paffle companions onto the cart. The penguin had one last idea in mind. Dropping the deletion javelin (and deleting the carpet,) he walked up to the cart and attempted to shove as many PeystreePawkets in his mouth as he could. Something struck him and buried into him.

He was instantly warped to a void with a bunch of various things: corn, icePods, part of a yellow puffle, and a bunch of Peach workers.

"Hold on to me or someone holding on to me!" said McLacker, "this isn't the first time I've been deleted!"

As if by executive meddling, they were all returned (except for a few reluctant penguins). The cart had escaped, but they started sketching paffle-proof ideas on the spot.

DAS ENDE