The Last Sysops

The Last Sysops was an event that happened on July 5, 2009, which involved all the BOB being deleted from the Club Penguin Fanon Wiki, and it is up to the sysops to rescue the BOB. The only two sysops, Ninjinian & Kwiksilver scour the UnitedTerra to retrieve the BOB, along with the help of the Rollbacks & The Long Lost Sysop. The story was written down by Kwiksilver after the event but the story was lost forever, never to be retrieved again.

Prologue, or Kwiksilver's Coronation
Kwiksilver ascended the steps of the Gentoo Island podium with a grin on his face. This was it. Today, he would become a BOBMASTER like Explorer, Triskelle, Barkjon and many others. He cast a glance into the crowd gathered there. There was Explorer, Professor Shroomsky, his good friends Tails6000 and Speeddasher, Judge Xavier, and the rest of the BOB. Some music started to play. Kwiksilver picked out his only fellow sysop, Ninjinian standing on the sidelines. Kwik gave him a little wave.

Kwiksilver waddled over to a large chair, the Coronation Chair, and sat down. A hush fell over the crowd and the music stopped. Explorer and Doctor Hickory Dickory Dock ascended the podium holding a purple crown. Explorer handed him a golden shovel and the Doctor held the crown over Kwiksilver's head.

BOOM

The crown exploded. The crowd started murmuring to themselves. The Doctor looked confused, then pulled another crown from his pocket.

BOOM

The crown exploded again.

"Mayor McFlapp!" called Explorer, facing the nearest wall, "What's going on?"

The Mayor's voice amplified a thousand times louder, exclaimed, "There seems to be a bally BOBMASTER overload with the organ! He'll have to stay a sysop. Sorry, Kwik."

There was a roar of anger from the crowd. How could this happen? After Kwiksilver had worked so hard to become a BOBMASTER.

"Well, I think he deserved it!" cried Mabel from the back of the crowd.

Explorer pulled out a shovel and jumped into the crowd, whacking Mabel as he crowd surfed. More people joined the fray and chased Mabel out of the town center. Only Kwiksilver was left with a sad look on his face. Ninjinian ran up and consoled him.

"Cheer up, mate," said Ninjinian, "You're still a sysop!"

"I'm the ONLY sysop," muttered Kwiksilver, "You, and me. That's it. The only way we'll be of any importance is if something really random happens."

"Yeah, as if that would happen!"

Chapter 1: A Really Random Thing Happens
It happened. The BOB were ready to get going, but then the most random thing happened at the BOB Control Room.

"This job is boring! Just monitoring the BOB!" said one worker.

"Yeah! So boring!" replied another. The first worker sighed and put his elbow on a big, noticeable red button. An alarm went off, counting down from 1 minute.

"Hey I never knew I had an elbow!" said the first worker awkwardly.

"You don't!" panicked the other worker. "Dude, do you know what you've just done?"

"No." said the first worker, while taking his McDoodles meal off a delivery penguin. The other worker slapped his flippers on his head.

"We are so fired."

---

3 . . ..

"Well, we'd better get going!" said Explorer. "Sorry again, Kwiksilver."

"It's OK." lied Kwiksilver.

2 . . ..

"I'm hungry! Who's up for some -" Explorer stopped, and so did all the other BOB members, and started vanishing pixel by pixel.

1 . . ..

All of the BOB, Explorer, TurtleShroom, Barkjon, all of them. The crowd started murmuring.

"Hooray! Explorer is gone!" cheered Mabel. The crowd went cross again and got ready to chase Mabel again. Kwiksilver stood there, beak wide open in shock.

"What just happened?" asked Ninjinian.

"The BOB completely vanished!" said Kwiksilver. They stood in shock in the empty room.

"Where did they go?" questioned Ninjinian.

"I don't know, but we got to do something!" leaded Kwiksilver, and rushed out the room with Ninjinian.

Kwiksilver used his Vortex Manipulator to make a portal to the Bureau of Fiction and he and Ninjinian jumped through.

A female tern ran up to them.

"Good morning Kwik and Ninjinian," she said, flustered, "I'm Becky, the Mayor's secretary. With the Masters gone, I can't keep up with this vandalism!"

She led them down flights of stairs to a room filled with buttons and screens. Each screen had each BOBMASTER name taped to it. All the screens were blank.

"I came down a couple of minutes ago and found the workers missing and the screens blank," Becky said to Ninjinian. Kwiksilver was eating some McDoodles food he found near a big red button.

"Do you have any witnesses?" asked Ninjinian.

"Well," continued Becky, "The two BOB monitor workers should be here, but the last time I heard from them they were asking me to order a McDoodles meal for them."

Kwiksilver looked up, a chip halfway to his beak. Ninjinian and Becky spun around.

"Kwik!" cried Ninjinian, "You're eating the evidence!"

"Sorry!" apologized Kwiksilver, and he picked up all the food and placed it on a desk.

"Well," said Becky, "Until we find out what happened to the BOB and the Masters, you two have to take control of the Narrator's Organ.

Kwiksilver and Ninjinian looked at each other. It was going to be a long day."

Chapter 2: Help Desperately Wanted
Ninjinian called the CP Times, and all the other UnitedTerra and USA newspapers and put an ad in the classified section. Meanwhile, Kwiksilver was trying to work out how to use the Narrator's Organ.

Operating the Organ, however, was a lot harder. It turns out, Mayor McFlapp had password-protected it. He'd also found a giant, dusty book full of ancient runes entitled, Narration Organ Manual, and was trying to make sense of it.

Bally

ACCESS DENIED

Flippin'

ACCESS DENIED

Organ

ACCESS DENIED

Kwiksilver tried a heap of password combinations, none of which worked. Meanwhile, Ninjinian was having other problems.

"Hello, Bureau of Fiction, Ninjinian speaking."

"H1! 1'm 4pp£¥1n9 ƒ0r 4 p0$1710n 47 M(Ð00Ð£3$!"

"What?"

"1 w4n7 70 ƒ£1p bµr93r$!"

"Sorry sir, we're not a burger shop. This is the Bureau of Fiction."

"ƒ1(710n? (4n 1 0rÐ3r $0m3 ƒ1(710n4£ w4ƒƒ£3$ p£34$3."

"I told you, we don't sell waff-"

"0h, 4nÐ 4 £4r93 ƒr13$. $|{1p 7h3 $4µ(3."

"We don't sell fries eith-"

"1 4£$0 w4n7 0n3 0ƒ 7h0$3 7r0p1(4£ ƒ122¥ Ðr1n|{$ w17h 4n µmbr3££4!"

"..."

"µnÐ3r m¥ µmbr3££4, 3££4, 3££4, 3h, 3h, 3h, µnÐ3r m¥ µmbr3££4...."

Ninjinian hung up and turned to Kwiksilver, who was holding the manual upside down to see if the runes made any sense.

"Kwik, that's the thirtieth unrelated call we've had today. Maybe we should make a different approach."

Kwiksilver picked up a screwdriver from the floor and began unscrewing the back of the Organ.

"Yes, I think so too," said Kwiksilver, who was now examining a mess of wires inside the organ.

"I'll do a door to door recruiting service!" cried Ninjinian excitedly.

"Already tried that when I was in the Time Agency collection appeal. We only made four dollars and they kept slamming the doors in our faces."

Ninjinian started pacing around the organ, deep in thought.

In a darkened room, a blue puffle sat at a laptop, clicking and typing. A large, black bird, about the size of a tern, was fiddling with a strange instrument in the corner of the room.

"Finished yet, Kenny?" said the bird.

"Not yet, Lord Carrion," said Kenny, "I am finishing up now."

"Good," said Carrion, "With McFlapp gone, only those two, useless penguins stand in my way. They will be easy to destroy."

The bird cackled an evil laugh.

"Hi, this is the Holy Wikia help line. If you would like to speak to an operator about your universe, please press 1."

"No.." murmured Kwiksilver.

"If you would like to listen to some elevator music, press 2."

"No..."

"If you are inquiring about our annual staff party, please press 3..."

"O_O..."

"If you would like to join the Moose in Black for Universe #1337 (Club Penguin Fanon), press 4..."

It went on like this for half an hour, until....

"If you would like help changing a Narration Device's password, please press 148."

Kwiksilver punched 1, 4 and 8 on the phone.

"You are on hold. Your position in the queue is OVER NINE THOUSSAAANNDDDD! What, nine thousand?"

Kwiksilver threw the phone in frustration. It bounced off the Organ, clanged into the Lithium Improbability Drive, and finally hit a rusty lock on a cabinet. Jazz music issued from the phone as a singer said, "The cake is a lie!"

There was a whirring sound from the LID and a stream of yellow energy erupted from the hole in its side. The energy hit the rusty lock, and the lock disintegrated. A number of strange-looking TV remotes forced the cabinet door open and tumbled onto the floor, knocking the Drive over in the process.

They had one antenna on the front where the sensor should be, and instead of an "ON" button there was a large switch. Under the switch there were buttons with the numbers 1-9 on it and a screen. The whole remote was sky blue in colour, and had two Rs on the back.

Kwiksilver and Ninjinian peeped up from behind the Narrator's Organ and cautiously crept towards the remotes. They each picked one up. Ninjinian also found a note written with awful handwriting.

ROLLBACK REMOTE MANUAL

SIMPLY TYPE IN THE NUMBER OF THE ARTICLE AND FLIP THE BALLY SWITCH TO ROLLBACK NASTY EDITS, WOT WOT!

ONLY USE THESE FLIPPIN' REMOTES IN A BALLY EMERGENCY!

MAYOR MCFLAPP

Kwiksilver waved the remote around foolishly, and knocked a vase off it's pedestal. It broke into a million pieces.

"Let me, Kwik," said Ninjinian. He pointed the remote at the pieces and flipped the switch. A bluish-green light filled the room and Kwik could have sworn he heard a clock ticking. The vase put itself back together and flew back up to the pedestal. The light vanished and the ticking went with it as well. It was as if nothing had ever happened to the vase. In fact, it was as if nothing had happened in the universe at all.

"This is the answer!" cried Ninjinian excitedly, breaking the silence. "We'll recruit Rollbacks to help us!"

Chapter 3: Recruiting Rollbacks
Ninjinian walked through the barren landscape of the Darktonian Realm, dodging Doom Weeds and rocks until he came to a castle. Lightning struck the purplish sky, revealing the Castle Bugzy for a split second in all it's glory.

Ninjinian lifted the heavy doorknocker and knocked three times. A slit in the door opened and a pair of eyes appeared.

"Is this Castle Bugzy?" said Ninjinian.

"I ain't sayin' nothin'," said the voice that belonged to the eyes.

"Let me guess," said Ninjinian, "You're Johnny Tightbeak, aren't you?"

Tightbeak was silent, then walked away from the door. Another pair of eyes appeared in the slit.

"Who're you?" asked a voice that Ninjinian recognized as Smuggler Gary.

"I am Ninjinian, representing the Universal Bureau of Fictitious Literature. I wish to speak to Bugzy."

Smuggler Gary looked behind Ninjinian.

"Any cops with ya?"

"No. I'm here on my own."

The door swung forwards and Ninjinian was lead inside Castle Bugzy. He was shocked to see that binary streams were whizzing through the main corridor. Ninjinian was led to a door and entered into the Dining Room.

Bugzy himself sat at the table, devouring some of King Snowkinian's famous spaghetti. He looked up.

"Yo Ninj, my man, what brings ya to mah humble home?" asked Bugzy, gesturing to the walls.

"I'm here to offer you a part-time job at the Universal Bureau of Fictitious Literature," said Ninjinian, "as a Rollback." Ninjinian explained the BOB's disappearance.

"What's in it for me?" asked Bugzy suspiciously.

"You get this Rollback Remote. It will rollback anything, even evidence of smuggling."

"Deal," said Bugzy. Ninjinian handed him the remote.

"I'll call you if I need you," said Ninjinian. Bugzy wasn't listening. He was throwing plates at the wall, rollbacking them, then throwing them again.

Kwiksilver yawned and put down his wire-cutters. He had been working all night trying to fix the Narrator's Organ, and had so far made no progress. He dialed Ninjinian on his PDA.

"Hi Kwik!"

"Morning Ninj," yawned Kwiksilver, "Did you recruit Bugzy?"

"Yup, I'm just eating breakfast at the New Club Penguin cafe," said Ninjinian, "I've heard that masked rabbit is vacationing in Neo Domino City. She's one of my choices for recruitment.

"You mean Hat Pop?"

"Is that her name? Nobody told me. How's things at the Bureau?"

"We've had about ten Walrus hack attacks, seventeen file corruptions and I still can't get into the Organ. Becky is working overtime directing the Moose in Black to mass Fourth Wall breakings, I've had twenty cups of coffee and I'm still tired."

"Wow. You've seriously had a long night."

"Tell me about it. Anyway (yawn) I need to get back to work."

"Bye."

click

"Excuse me, Ms Hat Pop?"

The penguin turned around. She was wearing pink bunny ears, a Ninja mask and a purple hoodie.

"Yes Ninjinian?" she asked kindly.

"I'd like to offer you a posit-AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Ninjinian had been walking towards Hat Pop when he fell down a deep hole.

"Sorry, Ninj, It must have been one of Lemon's traps," called Hat Pop down the hole.

Ninjinian checked his body for injuries. He was only a little bruised.

"I was wondering if you wanted to become a Rollback at the Bureau of Fiction," Ninjinian groaned.

"Oh yeah," said Hat Pop, "I heard about the BOB disappearing. So it's just you and Kwik?"

"Exactly. We need some help, and we thought you might want to help us."

"I'd be happy to!" said Hat Pop brightly, "Let me help you out. I always carry a coil of rope with me in case Lemon pulls a prank on me."

She threw down the rope and Ninjinian, covered in dirt, climbed up. He handed the Rollback Remote, and quickly explained it's function.

"Oh, and one last thing," said Ninjinian, before he left, "Do you know where..." He looked down at his notepad. "..Het1-6-9-2 lives?"

"Oh, Het's an old friend of mine! Last thing I heard, he decided to climb to the peak of CP's tallest mountain."

The cold wind cut at Ninjinian like a knife as he slowly inched his way to the shack balancing precariously on the peak of the Tallest Mountain.

He threw a grappling hook to the nearest ledge and climbed up, panting for breath. Why did a penguin vacation here? Ninjnian stepped forward, and there was a crack.

The crack ran from the tip of the ledge right to the back, and before he knew it, Ninjinian was falling. He braced himself for impact, but a rope fell down to him. Ninjinian climbed up and saw the smiling face of Het1692.

"Hi. You must be Ninjinian. Pleased to meet you," said Het.

They walked inside the shack. Het1692 made some Hot Chocolate.

"You must have had a real reason to see me," said Het, "if you climbed up this dangerous mountain."

"I-I-I'm offering y-you and j-j-job at the Universal B-b-bureau of Fictitious L-literature," said Ninjinian, his beak (penguins don't have teeth) chattering like mad.

"Oh, sorry," apologised Het. He lit a fire in a furnace.

"Why aren't you freezing?"

"I'm used to the cold," said Het, "I climb mountains all the time."

They both sat down and talked over the BOB's disappearance and the Rollback Remote.

"I'll be happy to accept a job," beamed Het, "Anything I can help with, just give me a ring, okay?"

Het wrote down his number for Ninjinian and gave him directions on how to climb down safely.

Ninjinian arrived at South Pole City the next day at the South Pole City buisness district. He swiped his gold card at the sign with instructions on how to cross, then pressed the "PUSH TO CROSS" button four times. A nearby manhole cover melted away and Ninjinian jumped through it. He slid for a minute, then arrived in the Bureau of Fiction's main hallway.

It was early morning, and other Bureau employees were arriving for work. Almost all of them, especially the Moose in Black looked very flustered. Ninjinian passed the front desk, said a quick hello to a sleepy-looking Becky and hopped in the lift.

The lift took off like a rocket, twisting and turning until it finally came to a halt. Ninjinian stepped out into the Master's office and spotted a snoring Kwiksilver, manual on his face and flipper holding a screwdriver.

"Kwik! Wake Up!" called Ninjinian. Kwiksilver sat bolt upright, the book slid off his face and the screwdriver flew through the air.

"Whozair?" mumbled Kwiksilver sleepily.

"It's me, Ninjinian, Kwik. I've recruited Hat Pop, Bugzy and Het1692. What about you?"

Kwiksilver stood up, waddled over to the Watercooler and got himself a drink.

"Water isn't too bad today, I've got a lot of stuff about stories and another Bring Back Happyface entry," said Kwiksilver.

"The Rollbacks, Kwik."

"Oh yeah, I recruited that duck with a leek and that guy with the paddleball. I also recruited The Leader."

"You what?"

"Recruited him. He happily accepted."

"Any Organ progress?" asked Ninjinian.

"No," said Kwiksilver, "I'm debating on whether to call Doctor Hickory Dickory Dock."

"That's a brilliant idea, Kwik!" cried Ninjinian, "Go on, call him!"

Kwik withdrew the Psychic Paper from his pocket and thought very hard of the Doctor fixing the Organ.

There was a metallic rasping noise and a large blue box with POLICE PUBLIC CALL written on it appeared in the corner of the room. The door opened and a Human stepped out, a cheesy grin on his face.

"I got your message," said the Doctor, holding up the other Psychic Paper, "Where's this Organ?"

Ninjinian and Kwiksilver lead Doctor Hickory to the Narrator's Organ. The Doctor withdrew a strange screwdriver from his pocket and pointed it at the Organ. The tip of the screwdriver glowed blue, a buzzing noise was heard and there was a beep from the Organ. A message showed up on the screen.

HIPPENPROXY

ACCESS GRANTED

The organ booted up into Narration OS 12 and an error message appeared.

UNLAWFUL ACCESS BY IP #3v1l ON ARTICLE The Last Sysops. ROLLBACK?

Kwiksilver pressed ENTER.

UNABLE TO ROLLBACK. REASON: DELETED FILES REMOVED FROM DATABASE BY L. CARRION.

Kwiksilver and Ninjinian looked at each other. Kwiksilver typed at the organ again.

REMOVED ARTICLES ARE: Masters of the Universe, BOB.

Kwiksilver traced the IP address of L. CARRION and there was only one result:

UNIVERSAL BUREAU OF ENTROPY

Chapter 4: A Sticky Situation
Ninjinian and Kwiksilver clung to the TARDIS console as Doctor Hickory steered them through time and space.

"So, what's the plan?" asked Ninjinian.

"Well, Carrion made only one copy of those articles before he deleted them, and apparently, they aren't on his computer," explained Kwiksilver, clinging onto the console tightly as the TARDIS spun upside down.

"I thought he used a water-based instrument?"

"He does, that's the problem. I can't trace any thing further, so we'll just have to find out ourselves."

The column in the middle of the TARDIS console stopped going up and down.

"We're here!" exclaimed Doctor Hickory.

Kwiksilver and Ninjinian walked outside the TARDIS and saw a deserted alleyway. Trash cans and a large dumpster lined the walls.

"This is it?" asked Ninjinian skeptically.

Doctor Hickory pointed behind him. Under the TARDIS, a penguin was knocked out cold. Next to his flipper in the snow was a mysterious black credit card with a blood-red stripe. Ninjinian picked it up.

"Noderick Node," read Ninjinian, "Storage."

"From what I've gathered in the Bureau's files," began Kwiksilver, "access to the Bureau of Entropy can only be gained by swiping that card across your flipper."

Ninjinian swiped the card across his flipper. Nothing happened. Kwiksilver tried, and even Doctor Hickory, but nothing happened. Finally, they swiped it across Noderick Node's flipper.

A large, glowing blue portal appeared in front of them. Through it, Kwik and Ninjinian could see a dark, black corridor with a black door at the end.

The Doctor's pager beeped.

"Sorry!" he said, "I'm due for saving the planet of Hendra from some equine influenza!"

He jumped back into the TARDIS, and there was a metallic rasping noise as the little blue box faded from view.

Kwiksilver and Ninjinian climbed through the portal. There was a swishing noise behind them as the portal closed.

There was no turning back.

It was a normal work day at the Bureau of Entropy. In contrast to the flustered looks of Bureau of Fiction office workers, most of the Unspeakables were smiling broadly. The circular, black floored Main Hall was filled with smiling faces. The Bureau of Entropy's logo hung above them all shining a bright red.

Kwiksilver and Ninjinian, from their hiding place behind a vending machine, had gathered what was Carrion's plan from a pair of chattering Unspeakables.

"Did you hear about Carrion's plan?"

"No, what is it?"

"He posted a memo saying we were to work on weekends. Apparently, he wants us to look for intruders. If we see some kid with a beanie and a guy with a crown that looks like a cookie, we have to report to him."

"Why?"

"They'll mess up his plan of Universe Domination. He deleted this BOB thing and now keeps it on a USB stick. Those guys probably want to steal it."

"Where's his office anyway?"

"Don't tell anybody, but it's behind that bookcase in the Department of Time."

The Main Hall soon emptied until it was as silent as a grave. Kwiksilver was about to run to the Department of Time, but Ninjinian stopped him. Ninj pointed up at two surveillance cameras.

Ninjinian knew what he had to do. Slowly, he lifted his Cookie Crown from his head, and took a bite. Aiming his beak at one of the cameras, he spat.

The cookie mush flew through the air and stuck onto the camera's lenses. Ninjinian did the same to the other camera, then he and Kwiksilver moved across the hall.

They came to a door saying simply, TIME.

Kwiksilver opened it a crack, and saw various Unspeakables tapping at computers or writing on desks. Kwiksilver raised his flipper, slid back his rainbow friendship bracelet to reveal a strange-looking watch. This was his Vortex Manipulator. Kwiksilver spun a switch on the side and pressed a button.

The Department of Time slowed to a complete stop. Cheeseburgers were suspended mid-drop, ink drops were frozen in the air. Time in the Department had stopped.

Kwiksilver ran to the giant bookcases in the back of the room and began pulling books out and flinging them to the side, looking for a secret door. Meanwhile, Ninjinian opened a filing cabinet called "TRAVELERS" and found two files entitled DOCTOR HICKORY and KWIKSILVER. He put them in a nearby paper shredder.

"What are you doing?" asked Kwiksilver, still pulling books out.

"Destroying their records on you and Doctor Hickory. Better be safe than sorry."

Finally, there was a click and the bookcase slid to one side, revealing a huge, darkened room.

Ninjinian and Kwiksilver went into the room, and the lights came on.

The room looked like a dark version of The South Pole Council. In front of the two penguins was a table with the USB stick containing the BOB.

All of a sudden, a raven (Really a big crow.) appeared and landed right in front of the table.

"Lord Carrion, I presume?" Kwiksilver asked.

"Why, yes. you insufficent penguin." The raven responded. "I believe you came for this USB stick?"

"That stick contains the BOB itself!"

"So? It's a dream come true for me, besides, this leaves you universe vulnerable for my invasion. I'll soon rule the universe with an iron fist...er...wing!"

All of a sudden, a penguin came barging into the room knocking Kwiksilver and Ninjinian out of the way.

"YOU!" The penguin shouted to Lord Carrion. "I've travelled all the way to criticise that shame of a painting!"

The penguin pointed to a large picture of Lord Carrion on the wall.

"Excuse me." Ninjinian asked. "But who are you?"

The penguin turned around to Ninjinian.

"My name is Yalondo Yinchanva, art critic."

"Wha-wha-whaaat?" stammered Carrion, "How did you get in here?"

"One," said Yalondo, ignoring Carrion, "The colours are so boring! Where's some exotic stuff? Where's the squashed purple Weddell Sea seaweed?"

"I-I-I-" stammered Carrion, but he was inturrupted.

"Two, the subject looks so dull! I demand a repaint of this, and LOOK HAPPY!"

"Three, what canvas did you use for this? Scrap paper? I demand to see the painter!"

Illustrator Rob stepped forward out of the darkness.

"YOUR ART IS PATHETIC!" bellowed Yalondo. Illustrator Rob fainted into Carrion's arms. He was very sensitive about his art.

Kwiksilver and Ninjinian took this distraction to grab the USB stick off the table and run.

As Kwiksilver and Ninjinian ran out of the room, they saw an unused hovercraft that would usually be used for travelling through the Buareu. The two penguins proceeded to board the hovercraft.

"What about Yalondo?" Ninjinian asked to Kwiksilver.

"I'm sure she'll be fine." Kwiksilver responded.

Suddenly, Yalondo appeared in one of the back seats of the hovercraft.

"YOU DITCHED ME!" The art critic yelled at at Kwiksilver.

"Well, sor-whoa, what did you do to that room?"

What was originally a dark and gloomy room had been transformed into a cheery and happy place, with pink polka dots everywhere. Director Kenny had been painted red, Conducter Hertz had been set in lime green paint along with several unspeakables, and illustrator Rob repainted the large painting of Lord Carrion, with noticeable changes including a big silly grin. Lord Carrion was fuming.

Ninjinian immediately started up the hovercraft a flew off, with Carrion and several unspeakables, who had all been painted silly colours, right behind them. In their own hovercrafts.

The story was lost from this point...