Scrubette

Elizabeth Donna Joyce Penstubal, also derogatorily known as Scrubette by the people she hates and as Stubica ( /ˈstʊbɪtsɑ/ ) by the person she loves, is a historian and archaeologist and the wife of John Patrick Penstubal since 2036. The two have been in a romantic relationship since they met during Penstubal's campaign for mayor of Wizzint in 2030, and have broken up twice: both times in 2035 and it took them just days to get back together. Elizabeth is a native of Dancing Penguin City and her alma mater is the Moon Island Institute of Education, where she has a doctorate, unlike her husband (she mocks him very openly all the time for not having a doctorate).

She hatched in 2002 on Moon Island to Stacy Lieberman and Stuart Joyce and had a very rough childhood as she was often let out of friendship groups and girls always used to openly mock her due to her "silly viking looks". She swore to get revenge on them, and she did by getting married to the future president of the Republic of Moon Island. Elizabeth is not Moon Island by ethnicity and her great great great great grandfather on her father's side is from the Seal Islands and has a viking ancestry - despite generations having past and her family having assimilated into the culture of Moon Island, she identifies as a Sealien and dresses up as a viking all the time. She was born a red penguin but she colored herself pink in order to make herself look as much as a female viking penguin as possible, out of admiration for viking culture and not just because she likes the clothes.

Biography
Elizabeth Joyce was born on December 6, 2002 in Dancing Penguin City, the capital of Moon Island. She was born a red penguin but colored herself pink in order to present herself as much of a viking penguin as possible. This has led to her being bullied in high school and she was accused by classroom bullies of pretending to be a viking when she is not. She was accused of faking her ancestry for attention as well and was given many derogatory nicknames, and because of this she harnessed a hatred towards society and other penguins inside her. She was somewhat depressed in her last year of high school, but she managed trudged on thanks to her parents constantly bringing up the prospect of her being a world-class historian after finishing the Moon Island Institute of Education.

She met Penstubal in 2021 on a visit to Wizzint. They met only once and had lunch together at a local burger place (it is described in detail in Penstubal's book, Salt and the City). Neither of them developed any feelings for the other and Elizabeth left Wizzint and returned to the Institute. The two met once again in 2030, and this time they did develop feelings for each other - they started dating and after a few dates they commenced their relationship. It was both Elizabeth's and Penstubal's first real relationship - it was very turbulent and the two could barely get to terms with each other, particularly thanks to Penstubal's incessant whining that she would complain about every day.

The two finally broke up in 2035 and their relationship was thought to have been over by most observers. However, less than 48 hours later, the two kissed again and rejoined together in a relationship. A week later, the relationship ended again after Penstubal slapped her in a fit of rage, and Elizabeth was to report it to the police - she became captivated by Penstubal again for some reason however, and she stayed with him after he started apologizing to her every day for the next two months (such a romantic fellow, ain't he?). The apologizing stopped after two months because Penstubal proposed to her and she accepted. The two married several months later and their wedding was attended by famous people from all around the world, and it was a big success - the marriage might have helped Penstubal in his presidential bid the same year of their marriage in 2036.

Her marriage with Penstubal became surprisingly stable for the next few decades. However, it was severely destabilized in the 2070s and almost came to an end when Penstubal wrote his bestseller book, "Salt and the City", and didn't mention her a single time during the whole story - this brought her to tears and she threatened to leave, but she ultimately did not carry out her threat because she considered herself too old. Their marriage remained unstable until Penstubal's death in 2082. Elizabeth lived slightly longer than Penstubal, until her death in 2104 (she died on 2 April 2104 at the ripe old age of 101).

Personality
A very unstable and abrasive personality. She is easily agitated and irritated. She, however, finds it very easy to focus, and was not distracted by bullies, games and boys in her pursue of a career as a historian during high school and university. She, unlike her husband, is very decisive and she is known to make strong decisions - they aren't always the right decisions, however, but she is reluctant to ever walk back on what she says, unlike her husband who would constantly issue empty threats and backtrack on them not long after. This is the reason why her husband often caves in to her and does whatever she wants, despite his resilience when it comes to talking to other people. Penguins like Penquino observed that whatever Scrubette tells Penstubal to do he usually does, and some have used that to take advantage of Penstubal.

Her youth, despite being bullied and often discriminated again and excluded from social groups, was characterized by an abundance of male partners. Jolly Timmy and Mr. Morty decided to do research and write a report on the number of boyfriends Scrubette had during the course of her life, and after several months of searching through records, yearbooks, childhood photos and interviews, they reached an average of 10.24 boyfriends every year until she first entered her relationship with Penstubal in 2030. She attempted to burn this study after it was published, but she failed and Penstubal was irate, but she managed to get him to shut up after a few minutes anyway.

Hobbies
Scrubette has little to no free time because most of her free time she decided to devote to history and archaeology, her two favorite things. She often goes on international trips to archaeological sites where she participates in digging out ancient artifacts. She seldom actually succeeds in finding them, however, and has been branded as one of the worst archaeologists in her field. As a historian, Scrubette's work is primarily concerning life in prehistoric Antarctica and how penguins lived before there was any technology we know today. When she's not doing her work, she's reading books about the subject of life in prehistoric Antarctica and many penguins are avid fans of her own work that she publishes based on those books and on her research.

The small free time she has she spends shopping viking helmets and watching history channels with her husband, who is exhausted and bored by ancient history and the prehistoric times, and instead likes reading about more modern historical events, such as from the times the High Penguin Confederacy existed. Scrubette and Penstubal often play strategy games together, such as Antarctica Universalis where the players get to compete (or ally) to conquer the entire world, even colonizing different continents in the process where no penguins live to this day. Scrubette is an big fan of vexillology just as Penstubal and is often invited to assist her husband in doing flag requests for penguins and groups.

Scrubette rarely goes outside unless it is really necessary, such as going to the store in order to buy new food. Neither Penstubal nor she can cook and so they order a pizza, sandwich, fishburger or something else every day and that's what they eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She usually eats breakfast around 12 PM, lunch around 4 PM and dinner around 10 PM - she has a very horrible sleeping schedule because her work consumes all her time during the day, and so she goes to bed at midnight, watches history channels for about an hour or two and wakes up around 11 AM.

Appearance
She is a pink-feathered penguin with a pink viking hat. She is very feminine looking, and her aim is to look as much like a typical female viking penguin as possible. She has been accused of stereotyping viking penguins, however, although most viking penguins themselves enjoyed her display of affection for their culture, especially since viking helmets, for example, are already a popular fashion item. At times, however, partially because of her clothing, she has been described as much of a scrub, if not more, than her husband, which some say is really hard to become. When she does not have her viking hat, she covers her head with a mullet so it looks like it is swallowing her. Some people wear a mullet hat with the mouth covering part of their head, but what Scrubette wears is not a hat, it's an actual mullet, but it's somehow alive despite being outside of water (it's probably feeding on Scrubette's salty sweat).

Faction
She has no political ideology and is completely oblivious to politics. She never showed any interest in politics, and people have found it very hard to determine her political views, even based on her thoughts of historical cultural norms, as she often displays contradictory opinions. Her husband never described her political views, saying that she 'knows very well it's all a stupid charade anyway'. However, the reality is, she just does whatever the heck she wants and most often as an individual. Indeed, working as an individual, due to her attractiveness and her husband's submissiveness she always gets what she wants and has no need to join in any "factions".

Historian
Scrubette's work as a historian includes a multitude of various subjects, from Moon Island's independence to Lavender's presidency, from the history of Shprogshel settlement on Baa to the history of puffles and their extinction in Amataria. Her most controversial work is that regarding Moon Island's relationship with Shops Island, as well as Moon Island's independence itself, and Scrubette has been accused by virtually all credible historians outside of Moon Island for being "heavily biased", "inserting anti-Shopper propaganda into her work" and "promoting Moon Island nationalism and chauvinism". Her most controversial work is Moon Island: From Colony to Independence (2029), where what she wrote was accused of being "riddled with lies and propaganda", as well as being "mostly false or completely made up". Some excerpts from her work include:

"Unlike the Shoppers, the penguins inhabiting Moon and its outlying islets can pride themselves on being members of an ancient culture, one several centuries in age, older than every single individual that had ever lived in Shops. During their occupation, it was certainly not uncommon to hear jokes, such as the famous one, that the difference between the Shoppers and yogurt is that, within several years, yogurt would develop a culture (...) indeed, and it is an extensively documented fact that they, when visiting Moon, would suffer a culture shock in that they come to the realization just how much what is theirs is inferior in comparison to what is ours.

Moon, if it wants to stand on its own two feet, must reject everything Shopper, embrace everything Typhoonian; that which is unspoiled, which is centuries old in age and riddled with tradition. This is the conclusion that the Typhoonians had come to - it was a necessary evil for us to destroy everything Shopper remaining in our country, for only in that way could our nation protect its sovereignty and its superior culture. (...) It was clear to us from the day Rockhopper left the island. We did not wish for others to be in charge of our destiny again."

- Scrubette, "Moon Island: From Colony to Independence"

Perhaps the most controversial passage is her passage regarding disgraced Sith leader David Franklin, whom she tried to rehabilitate and whom she described as a "patriotic individual guided by his love for [his homeland], fighting in pursuit of independence and self-rule for Moon Island". She made straight up lies how David Franklin only wanted sovereignty for Moon Island and that the only way to achieve it, and "he was a genius for understanding it", was to destroy Shops.

"Let's be clear that David Franklin was by no means a criminal and an evil Sith that he is portrayed as, but rather a hero of our homeland, a patriotic individual guided by his love for it, fighting in pursuit of independence and self-rule for Moon Island. (...) The reason he is portrayed the way he is is because Shopper propaganda from the war had worked in tearing down the reputation of a founding father of the modern state of Moon Island in the sense that he paid the ultimate price for its cause. And Moon must remain forever grateful to him. (...) He realized the only way to win freedom for Moon was the destruction of the Shopper state, and he was a genius for understanding it. His execution, however, was fatally flawed."

- Scrubette, "Moon Island: From Colony to Independence"

While her work was criticized by historians who do not have much of a bias, if any at all, on relations between Moon Island and Shops Island, it was also praised for the sole fact that it managed to cement Moon Island's sovereignty and independence as a young and fledgling little nation. Her work has been heavily praised by nationalists in Moon Island, saying that her work is vital for both Moon Islanders AND foreigners to have an understanding of what Moon Island is and where it is, who Moon Islanders are, what their origins are and what their position was under Shops Island.

Her work regarding Moon Island greatly focuses on showing the world that the position of the island under Shops was one of being exploited and oppressed, and she goes to extreme lengths to prove her point, and in that process attempts to completely discredit Shops as an "imperialist country" that attempted to colonize Moon Island but "Typhoonian cultural resistance prevented them from doing so". She also writes of cultural manifestations that Moon Islanders had under the Shopper "occupation", such as the House of Fame, which she expressed as the "most uniquely Typhoonian cultural phenomenon" and a "symbol of rebellion against the Shoppers".

Friendly

 * Penstubal - The two met for the first time ever in 2021 and knew each other only for a short while. They would meet again in 2030 after they both forgot the other even existed, and they would marry in 2036. Penstubal is the love of Scrubette's life, although in the later days of their marriage Scrubette starts finding him completely insane (it's been about time she came to that realization) but finds it too late to get a divorce.
 * Bobbie Wood - One of Scrubette's closest friends. She was accused of having an affair with him, and she called this 'completely absurd'. She tried to stay away from him following these allegations, and their relations have deteriorated because of this.
 * Jolly Timmy - Scrubette met Jolly Timmy through Bobbie Wood and Penstubal and the two have not interacted much, although all their interactions so far have been pretty friendly.
 * Maddie Esser - Maddie and Scrubette met when Scrubette visited Acadia with Penstubal and the two became friends soon after. The two have remained good friends even though they rarely see each other and often text each other.

Neutral

 * Slender - When he was introduced to Penstubal's wife, he burst out crying out of laughter and started rolling on the floor laughing because of 'how ridiculous she looks'. Since then, Scrubette hates him and always insults him and writes a mean article about him in the Penstubal Post every single day. However, the two haven't exactly become enemies and they actually collaborated several times during Penstubal's presidency when Scrubette was the first lady.

Unfriendly

 * Chill57181 - Penstubal hates Chill57181 and because Scrubette is Penstubal's wife, she hates Chill as well. Chill hasn't had any real interactions with Scrubette, and wonders how she has survived being married to Penstubal for so long.
 * Penquino - He coined "Scrubette" as a nickname for her, though it wasn't meant as an insult to her, just acknowledging that she's married to The Scrub. Since then, this derogatory nickname has been used more often than her actual name, causing Scrubette to get really salty. He also pities her for marrying Penstubal, and wonders how a person who enjoys history and proof of the past could stand someone like Penstubal that makes things up out of thin air and claims them as fact (this opinion of his quickly started to change as she went full-nationalist in the late 2020s).
 * Mironica - Scrubette most passionately hates Mironica and with all her heart because she thinks she is a tramp that tried to seduce her husband when they were young. Scrubette writes overtly hostile articles towards Mironica every single day and has seriously tried to physically harm her multiple times in the past, mostly by trying to ram into her chest with her viking horns. Mironica is really infuriated by Scrubette's constant attacks, and she tries to fight fire with fire by doing the same things Scrubette does against her and on an even worse level. Penstubal often tries to break up fights between the two but only ends up getting them both to unite against him.
 * Mr. Morty - Mr. Morty pokes fun at Scrubette and finds her easily triggered, and so he often trolls her, just as penguins Penstubal claims to supported by Chill troll him. Mr. Morty often joins her fights with Mironica by assisting Mironica in whatever way possible, and one time he even delivered a truckload of supplies for making burgers so Mironica could use it to bomb Scrubette's house. Tensions escalated between Mr. Morty and Scrubette when Mr. Morty and Penstubal joked around and called her "wacky", which resulted in Scrubette smacking her husband in the face and writing an angry article in the Penstubal Post.

Trivia

 * She was accused of having a short relationship with Bobbie Wood during her visit to Wizzint in 2021. This has been debunked as completely false, however.
 * She has a very nasty and horrible rivalry with Mironica and she tried to kill her on several occasions (yes, it is that bad).
 * Specifically, she tried to stab Mironica with her horns. You can tell how that worked out - they're not real viking horns.


 * She doesn’t like Katherine Chandos because she, like her husband Slender, also made fun of Scrubette’s looks when they first met.
 * Scrubette caused a diplomatic incident when she slapped Katherine in the face for that. Initially, Slender and Katherine planned to sue her for an astonishing 10 billion CPC in damages, but the situation was diffused when Penstubal apologised and gave Slender a coupon to McDoodle's in Moon Island that Slender never ended up using but accepted as an apology anyway.


 * Scrubette once went to Chill Island without Chill's or her husband's awareness. She waited for Chill outside his home in an effort to slap him, but she fell asleep after waiting for too long and Chill passed by her when he left his home but didn't even realize it was her (in spite of her iconic appearance??). She ultimately had no reason to go on this trip considering she did nothing and nobody even noticed she was there.
 * Scrubette and Penstubal do not sleep in the same bed and have their own separate rooms as well. They are forced to sleep together when they are in a hotel, however - when this happens, Scrubette and Penstubal turn their backs from each other. Penstubal sometimes tries to turn around and taps her shoulder, but then Scrubette kicks him in the gut and he falls off the bed.