Invasion of the Phone Hackers

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Invasion of the Phone Snatchers is an event in which Rocket Slug discovers that her phone has been hacked by the nefarious yet klutzy Xet. She tries to figure out how and why he could pull this off, only for all of her closest friends to come over and party.

The event
Rocket Slug was text-messaging her good friend TurtleShroom.

"plz come over," read her touchscreen. "ive been missing u l8ly and is it ok with u if xet comes over 2??? we can spy on him bcuz i no hes an alien."

"Nah, too wordy," RS squished her flipper on the delete key, a small pentagon with an X in the center.

"plz come over TS im having a party we can watch TV and have popcorn"

"Better," RS grinned, even though this claim wasn't true. She pressed send on her icePhone 5 and waited for a reply. Her phone rang immediately with an unexpected, unplanned ringtone.

"Man, I've got a weird ringtone for texts."

She tossed the phone from one flipper to the other and read her screen.

"U R A MORON," the text read.

Rocket raised what would substitute an eyebrow. "Who sent this? Ah, an unknown number, huh? He is SO dead!" RS frantically pressed buttons, then backspaced her rude jeers with a nervous blush.

"I don't even know this person," she thought aloud, "so I shouldn't harass 'em. Maybe it was a wrong number."

She put the phone down and began to walk out of the room, but was stopped by a wild ringtone. Rocket peered over to see the screen again; it was the same number as before. She sat by the phone and let it ring so that the other line would think it's a dead or incorrect number. After it was done ringing, she continued to freak out.

"WHO PUT THESE RINGTONES ON?!" She swiftly checked her apps and her data to see, then gasped at the realization.

"HACKING PERFORMED BY...UNKNOWN SPECIMEN. PERFORMING SECONDARY SCAN," her phone blared as it attempted to scan the information. Rocket Slug sure was happy that this hefty app was included in her monthly data fee.

"COMPUTER LOCATION MATCHED. WIRELESS. LOCATION 0.25 BLOCKS FROM CURRENT_LOCATION IN RESISTY CIRCLE."

"Who was it?" RS tapped an option with her flipper.

"XET. LAST NAME UNKNOWN, ORIGIN PLANET Z, POSSIBLY OF ALIEN NATURE."

"HackCheck Version 1.8, you've never once failed me!" RS gave her phone a big hug. "Now to find Xet."

TurtleShroom was a serious and bitter penguin. He was also a seriously bitter penguin. He had been to many an exciting event in his lifetime, but a party? He wasn't even the party type of guy, let alone a social butterfly like his friend Rocket Slug. He didn't even account for the fact that Rocket messaged him during a very important time: his stories. Ah, yes, TurtleShroom's busy days were always relieved when he could watch his favorite show, The Bold and the Presidente, hours later into the day. He was in the candlelight-lit room on the sofa, watching that old greyscale television. The sound was turned up so he could focus on the show.

"Juanita, I know that I didn't tell you at the cotillion, but I love you," a hunky bird with a puffle-sized mustache on the TV said.

"YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AT THE COTILLION, YOU!" TurtleShroom shouted at the television, in an characteristic burst of emotion.

"Well, I'm with someone else," Juanita interjected. "I met him at the cotillion."

TurtleShroom nodded. He enjoyed the show because it continued to stay to a strict continuity, despite the fact that new characters were constantly being introduced, killed off, regenerated, and born in the Latin-Antarctican soap opera ever-changing universe.

"How could you?"

"You never had the cojones to be with me, Pedro. Now, I must go!"

"Don't go!"

"I must!"

"Don't don't!"

"Must must!"

"Pedrodro, you fiend!" TurtleShroom cursed, raising a flipper into the air.

On the television, "Pedro" left the igloo and ran behind a cactus, where he yanked out a phone.

"My Presidente, she has not fallen for me. I can not yet extract the secrets for the navel battleship plans."

"You must seduce the Ambassador, soldier. The enemy killed your brother's uncle's cousin's wig stylist's clone, whom you were to marry! Help me help you; only she knows the plans!"

"Si, but what of my evil twin?"

"Pedrodro is with my secret police. We caught him at the cotillion."

"THAT'S NOT PEDRO, PRESIDENTE! THAT'S PEDRODRO YOU'RE TALKING TO! IT'S WHY HE FAILED AT THE COTILLION!"

TurtleShroom groaned and rested his beak on his flippers as he intensely watched the show. A desert robed guard (a Legionnaire) approached with a cell phone.

"Sir, text message is on phone. It's from Rocket Slug."

TurtleShroom snatched the phone and read the text message, then slowly typed a response.

"RS, hello! I would be honored to attend any festivities you plan to have, but not immediately. I am in the middle of an important matter concerning my brother in Maverick. I will arrive when it is through. -TSP"

Rocket read the reply, still baffled as to how that bird had the time to type perfect English as opposed to her usually rushed shorthand in a text message.

"u cant come to a party AFTER its over, TS", Rocket replied. Oddly enough, she was beginning to believe that she was really going to plan a party. Suddenly, RS felt a chill down her spine.

"Hey, sis," Agent remarked, startling the purple penguin.

"Oh," Rocket blushed, picking up the cellphone she had dropped so clumsily. "Hi."

"So, what's on the agenda for tonight? Mom and Dad are on that business trip. Hey, here's an idea; let's throw a party!" Rih grinned and grabbed her cellphone, beginning a mass text message to all of her contacts. "You should run to the store for some snacks. We need scoop nachos and hot salsa," AM gestured as she pushed buttons on her phone.

RS nodded. Scoop nachos and hot salsa were sold at the convenience store a block away. That would get her out of the house for fifteen, she thought, more than enough time to bust Xet once and for all!

After pulling on a jacket (her favorite striped one) and grabbing some money and her phone, Rocket Slug had set off to the local GoodyMart in pursuit of some nachos and salsa. But first she had to find Xet and bust him. She felt determined, in the same way that awkward kid does when he had done more alien research to "benefit the world".

RS stopped in front of Xet's familiar little pink house, a strange building with a crack right down the middle and a men's bathroom door in place of a traditional front door. Rocket Slug rang the doorbell, the sound of a Moo Penguin ringing. In no less than a minute, Vam had opened the door.

"HI, TALL LADY!" the little vacuum squealed.

"Hey, Vam," RS replied, crouching down to see the little vacuum. "Is Xet home? I need to talk to him."

Vam's blue eyes turned to red. "YES. MY MASTER IS HOME," he replied in a deeper, more serious voice. At the sound of this response, Xet came to the door.

"Hello, Rocket Slug," Xet answered, surprisingly tame. "What is it that you seek my presence for?"

"Tell me a little bit about this," Rocket Slug replied, holding up the HackCheck records on her phone.

Xet gasped nervously. "Well, I planned to send a beam to my Thinne - I-I mean, turbulence. It is not my fault. Blame it on the - the...little waves...you know, the ones that go through your cellular telephone device there..."

"Big blue waves?"

"NO!" Xet shouted, losing his calm attitude.

"Oh," Rocket Slug grinned, finally understanding. Now was not the time for obscure music references to Canadian pop songs that nobody really listens to. "You mean radio waves?"

Xet smiled in his usual disturbing way. "Yes...radio waves. They must have interfered while trying to send a message to...to..." He thought for a second, trying hard not to blow his cover. "I was trying to 'text message' my dear parents. They left me home. Alone. Home alone. Well, there's Vam, but that's just the same as being home. Alone. Home alone."

Rocket Slug grinned. "Alright. Well, that's all I needed to know." She turned on her heel and began making her way to GoodyMart.