Agent Meltie Gets Captured!

It was a bright, beautiful day in South Pole City, and the light dustings of melted snow were sweeping across the streets and sidewalks of the city. Agent Meltie, Rocket Slug, Phineas34720, James, Lexi, and Katie weren't in the beautiful, clean, city. They had instead decided to walk along the cavernous, deserted alleyways, where snow and rain never hit.

Today, there was a brutal heat wave, with the temperatures surging into the high nineties and no relief in sight.

RS stopped and pulled off her backpack. She yanked a jumbo water bottle out of the front flap and began to mindlessly chug it, wiping her forehead with her other flipper. "It's nearly a batrillion degrees out here! Why did we even wander into the alleyways? Out in the open, we have ice, and snow, and i-indoor plumbing..."

Agent Meltie fanned herself with her flipper, walking in the back of the crowd. "Where are we even going?"

As soon as she finished the sentence, she came across an uncovered manhole, and fell into it. She fell for ages, eventually hitting the ground with a mighty thud.

"And where did I go?" she asked nobody in particular as she got up, making note of her surroundings. It looked as though she'd landed in a cave, the slightest bit of sunlight from the surface illuminating... gemstones.

She gasped, stood up, and looked around madly to see how many gems there were. Ten, fifty, one hundred! She then mentally did some math to figure out how many wonderful coins she could earn by finding these, selling them, making clothes and jewelry with them... The possibilities were endless! A smile stretched across her beak as she ran towards the left wall to snagged a few,

Agent was suddenly stopped by a tall, Old Blue penguin wearing a torn-looking vest. Agent immediately dropped the jewels from her blazer's pockets and ran towards the middle of the cave, where a large, empty cart was.

"How you get here?!" he asked. "Your disguise was perfect, I could have sworn you were a member of the Peridot Penguins!"

Agent Meltie was too startled to respond. She looked around at the gems again. "But these aren't peridots. Some are emeralds, and rubies, and diamonds, and - OOO! Topaz!" She ran towards the walls again to spot the yellow jewel, but was stopped by him again.

"Nuh-uh-uh. These are for our gang," he warned her. " And on the topic of that, we only used 'peridot' because we couldn't find anything else that started with a 'p' for 'penguin'. So even though you can't find any of those, it's just a name. No big deal, really."

Agent scratched her head, while three other penguins in matching vests came out. One was orange and fat, and the other was brown and slim.

"Why is she here?" the brown penguin asked. He shot a rude glare at the Emoguin, who returned it with a smile.

The Old Blue penguin, named Hunter, replied to his friend. "She, uh, this young lady is here to assist us." He gestured at Agent, who was a lot shorter than him by comparison.

AM blinked, and then scoffed. "What, so you think I'm just down here to help you? Just because I fell down some manhole?! I'll tell you what - you can find those gems yourself! You're surrounded by them, anyway!"

She stormed off through the exit of the cave, but Hunter caught up to her and pulled her by her hair. He pulled her towards a cart, fastening the attachment on the cart painfully tight around her waist. Agent squealed, hunkering down in pain. "Ow, ow!" Tears stung in her eyes as she tried to carry the cart. Although it was empty, it was quite heavy.

Hunter smiled. "That's more like it. Now, mush, penguin!"

"No," Agent replied quickly, standing up. "I simply refuse unless I am treated with the respect I deserve."

The fat, orange bird - Connor - rolled his eyes. "Fine."

"Wait, what does she mean by respect?" Hunter suddenly asked, wincing.

You're telling me you don't know what respect means?" Agent asked.

The trio nodded glumly.

Agent smiled wickedly, tapping her beak in thought. "Well... think of respect as a sort of exchange," she suggested. "If I have everything I need to get started, that's respect. But I can't help you with these gems unless I get everything!" She clapped her flippers together expectantly. "Now, come on. You wanna find those gems, don't you?"

Hunter reluctantly pulled the cart's attachments off her, and she let out a sigh of relief. The trio quickly dashed out of the cave, leaving her to her own devices.

It only took the Peridots seven hours to give Agent Meltie everything she ever wanted. A throne made from pure sapphires, a glass of Diet Fizz Masters, a flipper rub, and a flipicure. They even managed to find her icePhone, which surprisingly still had a signal down in the caves.

"This soda's hardly fizzy, but I guess it'll have to do." Agent sighed dramatically as she sipped the drink, being cautious of her wet flippers.

"Okay, you got your throne, your drink, I rubbed your putrid flippers, are you going to do your work now?" Connor asked.

Agent yawned and stretched. "Sure. I guess I will. But... I'm a little tired, so as I work, I need some motivation." She smiled deviously as she put emphasis on "motivation".

The Peridot Penguins were cheering loudly as Agent weakly pulled the cart, pulling any gems from the walls. She finally felt her knees buckle from the strength of the cart on her back.

"Come on, you buzzard!" Connor shouted, in a feeble attempt to encourage her.

Agent immediately gave the birds the stinkeye. "Did you just call me a 'buzzard'?! As in, an ugly... old... BUZZARD?!" She collapsed onto the ground, sobbing and wailing.

Russell, the brown penguin, immediately stepped in for damage control. "No, horses are beautiful!"

Rih ignored him and repeated, "An ugly old buzzaaaaard! And just look at me! I used to be one of the beautiful birds...but... w-working down here..." Tears rolled down her face.

"Nooo! Your whining! It hurts!!" Hunter covered up his earholes and Agent immediately pulled herself up and wiped the tears.

"Whining? Why, I am not whining. I am in the business of misery and complaining. Do you want to hear whining?"

Hunter said nothing. He most likely didn't hear her, as his ears were covered.

"THIIS IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! Oh, this cart is too heavy!! My back huuuuuurts!" Agent whined.

The Peridot Penguins covered their earholes in annoyance.

Suddenly, a glimmering gem appeared from a hole, dangling down into the vicinity of the cave. Agent looked up. A ruby, like the ones she'd seen down here. This was it, her scapegoat to leave. As the trio was distracted, she quickly leaped into a jump, arms over her head in an attempt to grab onto the glimmering gem. Once she was up, she wrapped her entire body around it.

"Oh, where is Agent?" James was leaned over the manhole, dangling a gem from a fishing lure. "My beloved - "

His attempts to garner her attention were suddenly dashed. The rest of the group ran towards him.

"What happened?" Phin asked.

"I got a bite!" James exclaimed, attempting to reel in the fishing line and feeling it bend sharply. "Er, she's a lot heavier than I thought..."

"Let's just all pull, then," Rocket Slug replied, grabbing James' shoulders and gesturing for the others to do the same.

The combined effort of the group eventually pulled AM from the manhole, where she landed face-down on the ground still wrapped around the gem.

"How did we know that would work," Katie scoffed. "If not for James' fishing line, you would've been trapped down there forever."

James held up the fishing rod victoriously, the engraving of "Deus Ex Machina" glimmering in the sunlight. Agent sighed, fixing her hair and offering her boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.

"What even happened down there, sis?" RS asked, taking a seat next to her.

"Gem hunters trying to get me to work for them," Agent replied. "But I got them good."

"How?"

"You know how I do," she said smugly. "Some lies and deception, some whining, and then this gem here was the perfect escape plan." She pulled out the gem in question, examining it. "Hey, it's pretty bi - Wait a minute."

"What's the problem?" Phin asked.

Agent narrowed her eyes, knocking on the gem once to confirm. "Plastic," she muttered through gritted teeth. "You got me outta there with a plastic gem?!"

Phineas gulped, gesturing to James. "It was his idea! D-don't hurt me."

Agent glanced down to James, who only smiled awkwardly before he sprinted off into the street. The rest of the gang followed suit, leaving Agent all by herself to chase them.

"Do you know how many outfit ideas I got when I saw this thiiiiiing?" she yelled, chasing them down. "You're all the woooooorst!"

Yet, despite all of her rage, there was not a speck of animosity to be found. She soon caught up to the gang, erupting in laughter and tossing the gem down the manhole, where she heard the Peridot Penguins scramble for it. With a wicked grin, she pulled the manhole cover back over them and walked away, rejoining her friends

Moral

 * When in doubt, whine.
 * Always watch where you're walking.