Help talk:Governance

Over the months I've been on this database, particularly after the Freezing Snowman Empire was tried out, I came to realize that you can't parody history very easily without parodying an important factor in History: Religion.

New Parody has been implemented as The Hallowed Governance of Electrical Infrastructure. Its other articles will be expanded soon.

Before folks panic and bring up the COC's anti-religion clause, and before people start freaking out, I must explain what I plan to do, how, why, and with what. I am not not writing a religion, but we need something secular (AKA non-religious) to take religion's place. Theology is a very powerful force in the course of history, so it needs something parodic and non-insulting to take its place. That's the challenge.

I don't know how I'm going to convey this, so bear with me.

Overview
When we bring up religion, we bring up controversy, so I obviously need the database's support on this. Here we go...

Ever since I joined this database, I've been wanting to run a parody on Roman Catholicism, but not Christianity itself nor the Church's teachings.

I racked my brain for ages thinking how to parody religion without the religion, and it hit me when I was bathing one night about four or five months ago.

The secret id telecommunications. Think about it.

In the secular world, what is one of the most powerful things humans have created for peaceful use?

Telecommunications. The power grid, phone lines, Ethernet cable, Dial-up, etc. Whoever would control these would be powerful.

In this fictional, neutral Antarctica, where we can't parody religion (no Penguin Jesus, bleh!), there is one thing that comes close to holiness in the debate region.

What causes full-scale wars in Dorkugal? Technology. The battle over computers, OS, Internet types, etc., it never ends! People take sides and battle forever.

Technology is a powerful force that has shaped history, much like religion (though not as important).

The Parody
Now, what does telecommunications and Catholicism (not the teachings or the Bible, but the Hierarchy, the leaders, the saints, the clothing, the terminology) have in common? Absolutely nothing. That's why this would work. We need something powerful with a strong following, one that could date back ages and alter history with its decrees.

Details
Here's my theory. I'll break down everything I seek to parody in this idea. No Jesus/God/Christianity references anywhere.


 * The Pope. Naturally, the Pope is holy and also controversial. He serves as the leader of the real-world Catholicism and is just plain awesome. Addressed as His Holiness.
 * In the parody, he's the leader of all the powerful telecommunications networks. He has the final say on everything involving power lines, phone lines, the Internet itself, upgrades and outages, repairs and service. With a mere signature and royal stamp, the parody could change telecommunications as the fictional world knows it. He dresses as his parody, minus the crosses. No Jesus/God/Christianity references anywhere.
 * Addressed as His Telephonavin (a derivation of the Latin word for "phone", pronounced "Tele-fuh-NAH-ven).
 * Patriarch of Phone-based Expansion, the P.O.P.E.
 * P.O.P.E.s are written out as ''P. {name}.


 * Bishops, cardinals, archbishops, priests, etc. In the real world, these are the lower men in the hierarchy, each important but subordinate to each level, ending with the priests (to my knowledge). They teach the Word of God to the masses, the people. Normally addressed as "Father {name}" or "The Holy {name}".
 * The parody is similar. Each one is a lower rank, who carry similar names to their respective parodies. They deliver speeches on how the networks are going, and teach the ways of how to use your phone/wired stuff properly. People gather and listen because technology is interesting. They all dress as their parodies, minus the crosses. No Jesus/God/Christianity references anywhere.
 * Addressed as "Inframolis {name}" or "The Inframolis {name}" (Derived from Latin molis, meaning structure, with the word "Infra" attached).
 * Article: Governance Hierarchy


 * The Vatican. In the real world, this is the center of Catholicism, the Pope's residence, and pretty much a very special place. It's where all the major things are done involving Catholicism.
 * In the parody, it's also a massive, ornate complex, performing similar purposes. It's the headquarters of all things wire-based. It looks similar to its parody, though the religious items are replaced with technology stuff such as statues of phones, Internet-ish frescoes and paintings, etc. No Jesus/God/Christianity references anywhere.
 * "Centriepistula", Latin for "Center of communications" or "center dispatch".


 * Mass. In the real world, it's the time of worship. They come, listen to the preacher/priest/bishop, whoever it may be, and worship Jesus together.
 * In the parody, they come and listen to what the leaders have to say about phones and technology, etc. No Jesus/God/Christianity references anywhere.
 * Tech Time, something like that. I'll take anything.


 * Cathedrals. In the real-world, they are incredible, ornate buildings both in and out. Jesus appears all over the place.
 * In the parody, cathedrals are equally ornate, but serve as customer support, repair centers, meeting places, etc. They also house the technology that runs the power grid, the phones, etc. There's three in every USA state, so I've planned. No Jesus/God/Christianity references anywhere.
 * Telenacles (combination of Telephone and Tabernacle). I'm terrible at puns.


 * Sainthood/Canonization. You'd have to ask someone who actually knows about Catholicism for a proper description.
 * In the parody, the "saints" are people who made great contributions to the power grids, telephones, etc.
 * Titles are bestowed such as the "Most Awesome" instead of "Blessed", "The PWNsome" instead of "Venerable", ect.


 * Heresy. Not to be confused with blasphemy (an insult to God and the Bible itself, which will not receive a parody), real-world heresy is against the ways/preferences of the particular church or denomination. It's not just a Catholic situation, all denominations have heresy of their own. Sprinkling in a Baptist church would be heresy, because Baptists Dunk (or immerse) and not sprinkle. Kicking a hobo out of the church because he was "ugly" or "smelly" or "dirty" (discrimination because of looks) is SUPPOSED to be heresy, but I've heard that some churchgoers actually do that in all denominations.
 * In the parody, heresy is exactly what it is in reality: going against the ways of the parody. In fictional history, the parody would shun things like radio and such because "it wasn't right" or "the Inventors made that for a reason and it belongs", kind of like Copernicus and Galileo in the sun-earth-centric debate. They think they were destined to do this and lock new inventors with communications they didn't like in towers and house arrest (though it became obsolete).

I have more, but I must leave. This isn't religious, just parodic, not intended to be insulting IN ANY WAY.

Discuss on the talk page until I'm back.

-- † ???? ?????! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) DON'T YOU DARE QUIT BECAUSE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED!!!!!!!! † 23:03, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

There is NO OFFENSE INTENDED. I'm Christian too, so why would I insult other Christians?

Discussion
lol.

problem is, science and Christians don't go too well. put a scientist and a christian together and you got yourself a human. me being an atheist, doesn't really offend me, but it might offend few people round this here parts.   Bugzy Talk 23:12, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

No offense, but I believe this is gonna cause quite a few fights. I say we just keep the wiki as it is, and don't bring any religious reference here. Before you bash me though, I'm a christian as well, I just think this is a bad idea. -- Speed dasher


 * Why would I bash you for the opinion I saw coming? I expected this to end as an Epic Fail anyway, but it was worth a shot! --TurtleShroom on the road! Beep beep beep beep yeah!       :)    Jesus Loves You and Died for You!!!!!!!!!!!

00:58, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

It won't cause any fights as long as there are no insults to the actual religion. I think this is perfectly fine. Hey, we parodied Fort Kotir as Fort Kosher, including a reference to the Jewish food laws of kosher, and did any Jews complain? No! There were no insults to Jewish religion in the article, and there are hardly any insults to Catholicism here. Bugzy, there is hardly any science involved, and there is no religion involved with this either. -- Yours "Falsely",   Explorer 767 ( The Nerd Quibbles On...  )    View this template   00:30, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Explorer's right! --TurtleShroom on the road! Beep beep beep beep yeah!       :)    Jesus Loves You and Died for You!!!!!!!!!!!

00:58, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Idea: Since TurtleShroom believes that everyone in Redlink Abbey is a monk/nun, why not make Redlink a center of telecommunications as well? I planned for the building to have a large satellite dish on its roof anyway, and the staff (which TS believes to be comprised of monks/nuns) could run the network. -- Yours "Falsely",   Explorer 767 ( The Nerd Quibbles On...  )    View this template   01:10, 10 June 2009 (UTC)


 * If the idea is passed, a Cathedral/Telenacle will be placed in Redlink world for you. Also, I didn't say everyone was a monk or nun, just those with "Brother" or "Sister" in their title. CP nuns and monks, as I've stated, are like doctors, but with "more love". The characters in charge of running the Cathedral would be bishops, cardinals, ect., whatever their parodic names come up as and depending on the significance of the cathedral in the grid's infrastructure. Not all cathedrals are the same. Some have cardinals, others bishops, others priests. Bishops being higher than priests. It all depends on the importance of the cathedral to the entire Catholic world. You'd have to ask someone who knows about the Church's hierarchy for which cathedrals get cardinals, priests, or bishops. There's a pattern, I'm sure. Kwiksilver may be able to help us significantly in this. -- † कछुए मशरूम! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) DON'T YOU DARE QUIT BECAUSE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED!!!!!!!! † 02:34, 10 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Hmm... well, the thing is, almost every grown-up in Redwall and in Redlink is called "Brother/Sister". Also, Redlink's satellite dish can only broadcast so far, so it would provide telecommunications services to only the Lichenblossom isles, Dorkugal, and the coastal regions of the Antarctic Peninsula and Trans-Antarctica. I suppose some of the Abbey staff could be promoted to bishop, cardinal, priest, friar, etc. etc. etc... and on a side note, the master chef in all the Redwall books is called "Friar". Interesting, eh?  Yours "Falsely",   Explorer 767 ( The Nerd Quibbles On...  )    View this template   23:50, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Okay, TS. Sounds like a good idea, but this is very, very thin ice you're skating on. There are some things that need to be straightened out.

1.'The Spanish Inquisition. In the real world, they slaughtered everyone who wasn't Christian (or by their standards, since they slaughtered other Christians too).'

The Spanish Inquisition was not controlled by the church for the whole time. When the church objected to the non-Christians being killed, the King of Spain took over. The church is commonly blamed for killing, when it didn't have any power at all. I just thought I'd make that clear.

2. Crusades.

As a Catholic, I request this not to be parodied. Besides, the COC says no killing.

That's all.

--Sir Kwiksilver of TARDIS- Someone set us up the bomb. 10:31, 11 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Done and done, thank you for clearing up the Spanish Inquisition (I hated those guys). I hated the Crusades too, and I didn't even plan to parody them. -- † कछुए मशरूम! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) DON'T YOU DARE QUIT BECAUSE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED!!!!!!!! † 01:51, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Be careful
I am a catholic, and you are treading on a fine line. Us catholics do not always agree with past actions and the pope is not infallible. Personally, I will not read this article, as it insults fundamental beliefs of my religion. However, if you wish to make it for the pleasure of other users, go ahead. Just remember, it is a fine line.--Vercool Талк то ме. Заиста. Као и сада. Ја сам стварно досадно. Чекај, идите на СхоутБокс, то је забавније ствари.'  02:07, 12 June 2009 (UTC)


 * I don't agree with past Baptist actions (banning of dancing is the Baptist claim to infamy), but I look back and actually get a kick out of the error. The phrase "Baptists can't dance" follows the denomination to this day. I certainly don't agree with the Puritans (Salem Witch Hunt and Christmas banning), who were denounced, but I would gladly clean up an error or twenty if it will help stabilization.
 * I myself am a big Pope fan. The Pope can't be infallible, he's human like all of us, sinful at times like everyone else. He's just blessed by God with a special position. That doesn't make him God on earth (the Pope is like the USA president, the leader and representative of his nation, or in this case religion). -- † कछुए मशरूम! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) DON'T YOU DARE QUIT BECAUSE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED!!!!!!!! † 01:47, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Again, any particular insults that bother you can and SHOULD be reported to be, I'll remedy them immediately.

Articles

 * The Hallowed Governance of Electrical Infrastructure


 * Patriarch of Phone-based Expansion / P.O.P.E.


 * Telenacle


 * Governance Hierarchy