Marvin Lardner Monarch II

His Inframolis, Marvin Lardner Monarch the Second, Megabishop Emeritus of the Second Diocese of Club Penguin, was a reknowned, popular, and well-loved civil rights activist campaigning "for a fairer apartheid", wishing for EBUL to roll back its membership blockades to their mid-2008 levels. He is considered one of the most moderate (and most popular) Club Penguin reformists.

He became a symbol of the Non-Member civil rights movement, especially after he was martyred by an evil gunman with a Deletion Rifle. The gunman was a Member, but a lengthy investigation ruled that EBUL did not have blood on their flippers. No, the assassin apparently worked for something Bureau of Entropy. It has not been ruled on who deleted Marvin Lardner Monarch II, but it was either Director Benny or the Bureau of Entropy. Neither organization denies the claims, and both smirk.

Early life
His father and mother were humble and conservative penguins, and chose to incubate their egg old-school: by carrying it on their feet. No incidents happened, and Marvin Lardner Monarch II hatched in 1971, in what would one day become Club Penguin.

He lived on the mostly-ungoverned island for years, alongside the Ninjas that inhabited the island. These ninjas taught him about equality of all penguins, and he got to meet Sensei before he went on his "long journey". Marvin Lardner Monarch II trained in the ways of the Ninja before Club Penguin existed. He lived through Experimental Penguins and then Penguin Chat and Penguin Chat Three. He welcomed The Club when they colonized the island and was thrilled to see the new penguins that came along with them.

By the time Club Penguin had a notable population, the Ninjas left and fell to rumor. Himself a ninja, Marvin Lardner Monarch II was surprised when Pen Chi swore him and all existing ninjas into secrecy. He was not allowed to wear anything Ninja-related. Always driven for equality, he asked why, but was given no response, other than that the Ninjas would return some day.

Marvin Lardner Monarch II participated in the full Beta gauntlet and was given the Beta Hat at the end of an era. He enjoyed life on Club Penguin and always talked to his friends about equality of all. He urged the Betas to respect those who missed the Beta Party and did convince many to do so. Life was great.

Then shortly after November 2006, EBUL came.

Membership dawns
Membership began as soon as the Beta Era concluded, and Marvin Lardner Monarch II was somewhat disappointed that not everyone would have the rights to fine clothes and luxeries discovered on the island by the colonists. However, he respected Membership and thought it would be temporary, used only to raise capital to create a new, stable government. He was proven wrong when EBUL was chartered by The Club (their last act before leaving) to "permanently oversee the Membership system". Membership was here to stay.

Time ticked on, and Membership began to advance. EBUL grew in power and Members grew in number. Still, Marvin Lardner Monarch II accepted the system, understanding that in order to provide for its gaming economy, funds needed to be secured... -but eventually, he began to see it as going into overkill.

The seeds of his destiny
Marvin Laredner Monarch II first began to question the policies of EBUL in their first Member-exclusive party, the laxly attended Cove Opening Party, in 2007, but he saw little of it. He brushed it away, again using the economy as rationalization. Banned from entry, he instead stayed in the Forest and used his brilliant oratory skills to calm the small-scale riots between Members and Non-Members that occured because of their barriers of entry. It is because of Marvin Laredner Monarch II that no massive riots happened in this early taste of apartheid. He was relived when he learned that the Cove was going to be the Masses' territory.

Governance
Marvin Laredner Monarch II found technology calling him in September of 2008, just as EBUL began its expansionist policies. He was always a fan of electronics and loved to help people use them. He applied for the Governance and was ordained a Priest of the second diocese of Club Penguin, covering a tiny section of a distant Residential server.

Using his deep, charasmatic, soothing (and yet commanding) voice, his orating brought him fame. Penguins came from all over Club Penguin to learn from his technological prowess, and Non-members came in droves to hear his sprinkling of equality lessons amidst Tech-Time.

His telenacle became overcrowded, and eventually, there was no room for all the birds that congregated to hear him every Wednesday. In January of 2009, appealed to the MetroCERN of Club Penguin for a promotion, so that he could administer longer Tech-Times (instead of the regulated timeslots Priests were given), but was denied until July of 2009. By the time he got his promotion and new vestments, though, his telenacle, just renovated and made bigger, was still too small for the crowds, which had doubled by that era.

He petitioned for promotion to Megabishop, having surpassed all requirements of attendance for the position. This time, his fans helped him and flooded Governance servers with e-mails and calls demanding his promotion. He was given it nearly immediately, and his telenacle was expanded as big as it could be without buying more land. It was still overcrowded, but at least it was grand enough to suit the fame he had gathered from simply doing his job. He improvised and managed to keep the throngs coming with things like snow cones and such. Non-members kept flocking because of his equality messages, and those with foreign connections had them help his telenacle and his job. They supplied coffee, pizza, and snow cones to patrons outside, and he cooperated with them in wiring additional microphones and speakers for the huge audicence.

It was later revealed EBUL pressured the company to send him to that nothing telenacle because he wasn't a member, and sadly, they caved. The initial denial of his promotion to Megabishop was also attributed to EBUL. The MetroCERN of Club Penguin during his promotions was long considered a puppet of EBUL.

The Calling calls
Marvin Laredner Monarch II lived through EBUL's continuing apartheid, saddened by events like the Dance-a-Thon 2009, and particularly the Snow Maze. (The Awards didn't bother him.) He began to question his usual "economy" excuse as the divisions began to cut deep into society.

It was the 2009 Christmas Party that broke him. He tried to board the "Sleigh Ride" and was mortified when an EBUL bouncer denied him access, and hurt even more when the bouncer noticed that his Governance vestments were customized because he was a Beta. The bouncer said "I wish I could let you in, though; you're rare!". Such inequality was beyond what his big heart could take. Marvin Laredner Monarch II exited the Night Club and found a bench to sit on. There, he cried for the next half hour at the loss and disgrace of Christmas that he had witnessed. (The party's name change didn't help, either.)

Marvin Laredner Monarch II continued to weep for society until he happened to be pulled out of his depression by the sounds of fighting. He noticed a Member in a Santa Suit insulting Non-Member. Horrified both at the act and at the penguin's audacity to dress as Santa Claus while mocking, he put aside his pity and broke into the fight.

Using his sermon voice (normally saved for Tech-Time), Marvin Laredner Monarch II grilled the Member for his audacity and eventually guilted him into dropping his Santa Suit on the ground and running off.

It was then that Marvin Laredner Monarch II knew what he had to do in life. He would not stand for such treatment of Non-Members, no matter what they wore or who they were.

The Calling, as the good megabishop called it, had begun.

Fame
Already a "Famous Penguin" for his Tech-Times, Marvin Laredner Monarch II soared to new heights when he began to speak against EBUL's apartheid. Where he went, crowds followed like they would for Watex or Fever, and eventually, his numbers passed theirs. Only legends like Rockhopper or Cadence received more annoying crowded fans than he. Almost all of his fans were Non-Members.

The crowds exploded in number when he campaigned. He waddled around Traditional servers and told his fans his views on equality and his call for EBUL to go "back to their proper regulating".

EBUL demands a ban
EBUL remained silent for a long time, but Janaury of 2010 saw Marvin Laredner Monarch II becoming a threat. He always had something to say about everything, and EBUL's "suggestions" department had begun to receive more mail than the Moderators' "Fan Mail" section. All of them demanded reform. EBUL responded by deleting its "suggestion" feature.

In Februrary of 2010, Executives in EBUL came to the Moderators and demanded them to ban him. The Moderators had trouble hiding their beaming grins as they told EBUL that "he wasn't breaking any rules", and they could not ban him. As the angered executives left, the Moderators added, "nor would we!".

Riot
Marvin Laredner Monarch II grew in fame and became a household name by mid-2010. He attracted tens of thousands of attendees in Tech-Time. The Governance gave him awards for record-breaking numbers in his telenacle and even bought land for him to expand on. The MetroCERN of Club Penguin objected, but the higher employees of the Governance overruled him.

The Governance couldn't understand why this MetroCERN didn't like this megabishop. Since his fame, they had recieved nearly 89% of their bills from customers, up from 70% when he was a priest. Smelling a rat, an investigation began into the conduct of the Club Penguin MetroCERN by the Teranarch of Club Penguin and Its Adjacent Coasts. The MetroCERN at first refused to cooperate, but they threatened a full defrocking if he didn't obey.

Everyone was astonished when they peered into his financial and personal records. This MetroCERN sent him to that nothing telenacle because he wasn't a member. The initial denial of his promotion to Megabishop was also attributed to his status.

This scandal confirmed the rumor of EBUL adherence that this MetroCERN had. Said MetroCERN of Club Penguin was long considered a puppet of EBUL, and this confirmed it. He was defrocked immediately and declared a heretic by the P.O.P.E. himself. The Moderators took swift action and banned him for "illegal bias".

That was the breaking point. From July 3rd, 2010 to July 9th, 2010, Non-Members rioted. In Resedential servers, gated communities of members were pelted with eggs, snowballs, and trash. Governance employees and Moderators alike turned a blind eye to the street riots, and there were only ten bans. Termed the EBUL Revolt by the Penguin Times, it was the first, and to date, only instance of sectarian violence in Club Penguin history.

Ironically, Marvin Laredner Monarch II condemned the riots and stated plainly that "any fan of his would put down their arms right now". Most of them did. The megabishop promised that he'd "help them all do it right" in due time.

March on EBUL
Finally, in August of 2010, Marvin Laredner Monarch II came through on his promise.

Through word of mouth and improvised postcards, Marvin Laredner Monarch II organized a massive, nonviolent protest against EBUL. On one of the coldest days of the year, the megabishop, other civil rights figures (like USECP), and cheering crowds of an estimated five hundred thousand penguins overloaded the main server of EBUL.

#BLANKT was overloaded by the onslaught, but since many Server operators were huge Marvin Laredner Monarch II fans. Using protocols intended for national emergencies (like refugees crowding into CP from a war or famine), they had several low-use servers shut down and fed into the Server that was hosting the March.

There, Marvin Laredner Monarch II made history with a beautiful speech that whipped the audience into a cheering frenzy and made national headlines. Marvin Laredner Monarch II became a national phenomenon. Other civil rights leaders and public figures made speeches, but they don't really matter in comparison to how awesome Marvin Laredner Monarch II was there.

Then, to peacefully tick off EBUL, in unison, five hundred thousand strong, the crowd sang the cheesiest songs they could possibly come up with.

One can not imagine the awesomeness of a chorus of five hundred thousand singing like that. One would have had to be there.

The Blockades
Marvin Laredner Monarch II didn't stop. Now a hero to millions, the megabishop began to take even more action. On the next Member Party, the the Mountain Expedition, the civil rights legend and throngs of followers blockaded the Supply Camp to the point that said room became Full, and no one couldn enter it (thereby preventing Members from climbing the mountain).

In addition to the cheesy songs of the March, the protestors really hit it home by mocking Machu with his own theme song and participating in a hundred-part harmony of a stupid taxing song.

His fame (and taste in music) exploded. Soon, every Member Party in the rest of 2010 was filled with scores of singing penguins, and EBUL was infuriated. Between that and the lawsuits, it was a rough time to be a supporter of EBUL. The Masses had rose up against it in many ways, and it wasn't common to hear cries of "ZOMG EBUL RUINED CP" from the crowds.

In a leaked company memo, EBUL stated that they "were very fearful" of Marvin Laredner Monarch II and said that "if something isn't done soon, there WILL be HUGE riots". Another key EBUL executive remarked, "I smell a coup.".

Martyrdom

 * See also: Earlray66

EBUL learned that it should be careful what they wished for.

On January 1st, 2011, Marvin Laredner Monarch II travelled to South Pole City to give an update on his campaign for "rolling back the apartheid", as he called it.

He decided to stay at the motel of one of his friends, a ridicously spastic EBUL-hater named Malcom Zee. Unlike his gentle magebishop counterpart, the hyperactive, always-screaming Malcom advocated violent upheavel and rebellion against EBUL and advocated a totally destruction of Membership. Marvin Laredner Monarch II befriended Zee because "inside, there's a great leader", and in order to "help him become a sane campaigner for the Calling". (Malcom was acutally perma-banned from Club Penguin and spent a month on Ban Island.)

Flocks of penguins gathered and cheered for him, even at the hole in the wall that Malcom ran, so he stepped out onto the second-story balcony to bid them greetings, urge them to do good, and wish them a "glorious and nonviolent" day, one of his trademark phrases.

As he smiled to his fans, a nut named Earlray66 jumped out from two rooms down on the balcony hall and brandished a Deletion Rifle against the megabishop.

Shouting "THIS IS FOR YOU, DIRECTOR!", he fired his gun and deleted Marvin Laredner Monarch II on national television. It was so fast that the censors couldn't take it off the screen. Millions were scarred by it, and a riot occured immediately. The penguins attacked Malcom's motel and climbed up the walls to get after Earlray66. Others broke windows and attacked items as guests fled. Earlray66 escaped and Malcom's hotel was then burnt to the ground in the midst of the choas. Malcom blamed EBUL, but EBUL did not organize Earlray's attack.

Capture and torture of the assassin

 * Main article: TSP
 * See also: Earlray66

The nation was in shock.

The EPF pushed Herbert to second on their Most Wanted List as they all charged after Earlray66. They teamed up with the likes of the Inquisition and other groups, legal and illegal, to track down the villain that deleted a national hero.

Earlray fled South Pole City and found himself lost in the great forests to the east of it. All of the groups kept persuing, and it was eventually Tammyshroom, leading a squad of three Inquisition members and an EPF agent, that found Earlray.

The Inquisition took Earlray66, telling everyone that "he had got away for the time being", and began to torture him. The Inquisitor himself, a Non-Member and mild fan of the megabishop, presided over the "trial".

The assassin was put on a rack and made to confess his crime, but he refused at first. (In fact, it actually helped pop his back and it made the evil penguin feel better.)

Seeing that they were getting nowhere, Earlray66 was submitted to what the Inquisition called "The Big One": Waterboarding. Authorizable only by the Grand Inquisitor's boss (that is, TurtleShroom (penguin)), this is the act of tying a victim to a plank and dunking him in it again and again until he talks. In humans, the BOF notes, it causes water to go up their cartilage noses and makes them cough and sputter.

According to Inquisition memos, TurtleShroom himself waterboarded Earlray66, sparking yet another controversy against the powerful figure.

Earlray66 confessed everything. The Inquisition released him and dropped him off the side of the road next to the Supreme Court of East Antarctica. He ran in and fessed up.

Deletion of the assassin

 * Main article: Earlray66

Earlray66 was quickly tried and sentanced to death deletion by the Firing Squad, for "deleting a public figure". Blindfolded and told to face backwards, a small group of soldiers took aim at him with Deletion Rifles.

On January 17th, 2011, the assasin received a taste of his own medicine, and it was all over.

Legacy
Marvin Laredner Monarch II was not forgotton. Alas, when he was deleted, so to was his movement. The Masses never again congregated as strongly, and eventually, most of them returned to their normal lives and let the apartheid continue (and worsen).

In his year of glory, he proved that even EBUL was (a bit) accountable to the whims of its subjects, and he touched the hearts and minds of millions in his honest attempt to "bring back Old CP".

He gave the Governance a good name and increased bill collections all over Club Penguin. He brought vigor back to the Non-members and could have changed the course of Club Penguin history, had he lived to do it.

TurtleShroom got a lot of flak for torturing Marvin Laredner Monarch II's assassin, but he regrets nothing.

Remarks
The fandom of Marvin Laredner Monarch II is vast and expansive. Most everyone has something good to say about the civil rights activist.


 * [He who has words, speak!} {I'll speak tomorrow. -TS}

Canonization
On Februray 14th, 2011, the P.O.P.E. rushed open the Saint Scan system for the deleted megabishop. Overwhelmingly, he passed the first and second tests in mere days. He is currently pending the promotion Sainthood, and millions plan on attending the ceremony.

Marvin Laredner Monarch II Day
On January 18th, 2011, the day after the execution of Earlray66, a bill in the South Pole Council was presented by Shadow (the Leader's puffle and URRP delegate) declaring January 17th a national holiday in honor of the hero of Non-Members everywhere. The Bill passed and was stamped in approval by Judge Xavier by the end of that session. (That's saying something, because they usually never get anything done.)

Track listing

 * The songs on the album were...


 * Meet in the Middle
 * I Will Survive, Turkey Rendition
 * I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore
 * The Zuba Dooby Duba Doo Octopus
 * Lasagna
 * That's What Friends are For
 * This is the Best Burrito that I've Ever Eaten
 * O Fortuna
 * I Will Follow Him
 * The Kuzco Machu Dance
 * Every Cent You Make, I'll Be Taxing You

Trivia

 * It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that this is a parody of Doctor Martin Luther King Junior.
 * His fanclub is still only half the size of Rockhopper's.
 * TurtleShroom does not regret the waterboarding.
 * He always goes by his full name, NEVER "Martin" or "Megabishop Monarch", though his closest of friends called him "Junior".
 * He was always proud to be a Beta and a Megabishop, but even more proud to be a Non-Member.