Agents of PSA

✅

Prologue
Gary drives a jeep down the icy wasteland of Club Penguin. Next to him, Jet Pack Guy intently watches the three hostages in the backseat. They have masks on their heads. PSA waits for them by a Henry Industries plane, clutching his belt in anticipation. The jeep finally pulls up, and Gary leaves the vehicle with Jet Pack Guy and the hostages close behind him.

"Dr. G." PSA says while handing a metal briefcase to Gary, "I'm PSA."

"He wasn't alone." Gary says with a grim voice.

PSA motions to the hostages and says "You don't get to bring friends."

"They're not my friends." Gary replies. "Don't worry, no charge for them." JPG says.

"And why would I want them?"

Jet Pack Guy smirks. "They were trying to catch your prize. They work for the troublemaker. The masked man."

"...Shadowkid?" PSA says, now very interested. He turns to the other agents preparing the plane for takeoff. "Get 'em on board, I'll call it in," He orders.

Once everybody's secured in the plane, it takes off and in a matter of minutes, it's flying over snow-capped mountains. It's here that PSA steps out of his seat and pulls out a Snowball Gun.

"THE FLIGHT PLAN I JUST FILED WITH THE AGENCY..." PSA shouts over the roar of the plane, "LISTS ME, MY MEN, DR. G HERE, BUT ONLY ONE OF YOU!"

Jet Pack Guy opens the plane door. Wind rushes inside.

PSA continues "FIRST ONE TO TALK GETS TO STAY ON MY AIRCRAFT!

JPG proceeds to hold the first penguin, a lime green fellow, right outside the plane door. PSA points the gun to the back of his head.

"WHO PAID YOU TO GRAB DR. G?!"

No answer. PSA fires the Snowball Gun, and the Ditto A inside the snowball stuns them. Jet Pack Guy throws them into a seat and prepares the next person.

"HE DIDN'T FLY SO GOOD. WHO WANTS TO TRY NEXT?"

As if responding, JPG holds the second person beside the door.

"TELL ME ABOUT SHADOWKID! WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK?!"

Again, no answer.

"LOTTA LOYALTY FOR A HIRED GUN!"

He prepares to stun this penguin too when the third hostage speaks up.

"Or perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a penguin before throwing him out of a plane."

JPG takes the second penguin away, and PSA walks up to the third. "AT LEAST YOU CAN TALK" He says. "WHO ARE YOU?"

"It doesn't matter who we are," The hooded penguin says, "What matters is our plan."

PSA's flipper trembles slightly as he reaches out and pulls off the hood to reveal a dark blue penguin with his most notable piece of clothing being a ninja mask.

"Nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask." Shadowkid says.

PSA stares in disbelief before saying "If I pull that off, will you die?"

"It would be extremely painful-"

"You're a big guy."

"...For you."

"...Was getting part caught of your plan?"

"Of course!"

Another, much larger plane begins to catch up with PSA's plane.

"Of course. Dr. G refused our offer in favor of yours. We had to know what he told you about us." Shadowkid says.

"NOTHING! I said NOTHING!" Gary blurts.

PSA's plane begins to experience bad turbulence.

"Well congratulations, you got yourself caught!" PSA says.

"SIR-" Jet Pack Guy is interrupted by PSA

"Now what's the next step of your master plan?"

"...Crashing this plane." Shadowkid says, with a hint of glee in his voice.

The bigger plane above PSA's drops down some penguins hanging from cables, obviously in allegiance to Shadowkid.

"WITH NO SURVIVORS!" Shadowkid shouts while standing up defiantly.

The other ninjas land on the plane's wings and start shooting snowballs through the windows. Shadowkid punches PSA in the face and knocks him out. After most of the soldiers working with the Penguin Secret Agency are taken out, they attach tow cables to the body of the plane from the outside, and the plane is hijacked by the bigger plane. Its wings and engines fall off until it's suspended in the air like a missile waiting to be dropped. The ninjas blow off the tail of the plane, creating an opening at what is now the top of it. They enter the plane through this hole and paralyze everyone but their own and G, who Shadowkid secures himself, on it. The ninjas pull themselves and Shadowkid back up, but Shadowkid stops one.

"They expect one of us in the wreckage, brother." He explains.

"...Have we started the fire?"

"Yes. The fire rises." Shadowkid says as he's lifted to safety.

Gary struggles against Shadowkid, to which he replies "Now is not the time for fear, doctor. That comes later."

Shadowkid is handed a button, and he pushes it. The tow cables break, and PSA's plane drops to the ground.

The scene now is the PSA command room. Rookie and Agent T are sitting at a table together. The Director appears on the screen.

"Where is Dot?" The Director asks upon surveying the room.

"We told her there was a meeting, but I don't think she got the memo," Agent T replies.

A female voice clears her throat and says "Actually, I was the first person to show up." A recycling bin hops up to the meeting table, and Dot crawls out of it, changing from a blue suit to her normal one. She looks the way she did in the DS games.

"That's impressive, Dot," The Director says, "But now is not the time to show off your tricks. We have a very urgent matter at hand. A plane was reported to have crashed. Upon investigation, it was revealed it was one of ours. Even worse, three of our elite agents G, JPG, and PSA were on that aircraft."

Rookie gasps. "You mean the entire PSA was on there?!"

"No, PSA the agent, not PSA the organization. We're still here, aren't we?"

"Thank you, Agent T," Dot says.

The Director continues "A field agent reported that G was kidnapped but a terrorist known as Shadowkid. The fates of the other two agents are currently unknown."

Just as The Director says this, the command door opens and Jet Pack Guy enters, carrying a rather large bag.

"Ah, Agent JPG. I'm glad to see you survived."

"How'd you get out of that thing? It exploded!" Rookie flaps his flippers and imitates an explosion noise.

"I grabbed as many agents as I could and fired up the old 'pack." JPG says.

"Can you confirm what the Director says?" Dot asks. Jet Pack Guy nods in response.

"What about Agent PSA?" Agent T asks.

Jet Pack Guy looks down grimly and places the sack on the table.

"Oh no.."

"Agent D, please try not to get emotional. We're supposed to be professionals. Agent JPG," The Director looks directly at him, "Did you have more to say?"

"We should have the technology to bring him back, as I was able to extract him before the plane dropped. However, we'll need Gary's technology to do so."

Rookie decides now is a good time to interrupt. "Hold it-" he says, "You got him out of there and he's STILL dead? What about the people on that plane?"

"My best guess is that he swallowed one of the snowballs in the fight. Ditto A, even a minute amount, is deadly upon ingestion."

"My field agents are still finalizing the body count. The good news is I am getting reports that there was a surprisingly small number of agents that actually died." The Director says.

"They shouldn't have died at all!" Dot chimes in. Agent T motions to Dot to calm down.

"...Now then. Your team is down two agents, and the only way to get both of them back is the apprehension of Shadowkid. Do you agents think you can handle the job?"

"Director, we're your elite division for a reason. We're supposed to be the best of the best, right?"

"That's true. You've all proven to me that you have what it takes. Good luck agents. Over and out."

With those words, the Director signs off and the screen instead displays the PSA logo. The metal circle in the middle of the table opens up and a platform with a file containing information on Shadowkid rises up from it.

"...Sooo, who's our leader?" Rookie asks

Agent T stands up. "I'll do it."

"All in favor?" Dot asks, raising her flipper.

Rookie raises his flipper, Jet Pack Guy shrugs and raises his too.

"Then it's settled. I'll do my best to be a good leader while Agent G is away. Meet me back here in an hour and we'll begin making a plan."

"Wait, why an hour? Why not now?" Dot asks.

"We should gather more information on Shadowkid before we do anything."

Jet Pack Guy fires his jet pack up. "Consider it done." The spot on the ceiling above his chair opens up and he flies out. Rookie, who sits next to him, takes his hat off to watch the propeller spin. The other agents disperse on their own.

Jet Pack Guy lands on the mountain that holds the Dojo. He hovers a few feet above the ground before cutting power to his jet pack and touching down on the cold stone. He walks up to the Dojo doors and throws them open. Inside, Sensei is burning his mysteriously color-changing incense, but the rush of cold air from outside snuffs it out.

"...You have yet to learn the virtue of patience."

"Look, I know the Dojo is closed today," Jet Pack Guy says, "But this is urgent. I need all the information you have on some guy named Shadowkid.

Sensei sighs and sits down on the cushion he loves so much. "Shadowkid is not his name. His true name is Miles77. A very persistent student, but also a very lonely one. One day, to prove himself, he ventured deep into this mountain, where I forbade anybody to go. Alas, when he returned, he was wearing the dread mask and had become a new person"

"Wait a minute... he wasn't evil before he put that mask on?"

"He was ambitious, but not evil."

"...I see. Thank you, Sensei." Jet Pack Guy says, as he starts up his Jet Pack."

"Farewell, grasshopper."

As Sensei picks up a cup of tea, JPG takes off. The force blows the tea right into his face. Sensei sighs. Meanwhile, Dot and Rookie are investigating various places for any trace of Shadowkid. After questioning a green penguin wearing a raggedy hat with what appear to be some clocks strapped onto it, theymove from the Cove westward until they get back to the Ski Village and their HQ. Dot signals for the Director and a monitor emerges from a box containing said Director's face on it.

"I assume you are done with your information gathering?"

"At least me and Rookie are."

"Then why have you come to me alone?"

Dot looks around and realizes she lost Rookie, who just then walks in the room carrying a half-eaten slice of pizza and a croissant. Dot glares at him angrily.

"Sorry, I was hungry."

"Wait a minute, where'd you get that croissant?" Dot asks

"They sell them at the coffee shop. You didn't know?" Rookie says.

"I always thought they ran out of those years ago and never changed the sign."

"If you're finished bantering about food, can you two tell me what you discovered?"

Dot gets out get notes. "Right away, Director. We can confirm there were multiple sightings of the plane crash, along with many witnesses that claimed to recognize the ninjas accompanying him from earlier crimes we had to clean up this month."

"So this sudden increase of chaos is all connected to Shadowkid?"

"I wouldn't make a conclusion as big as that right away, but to me, the evidence is staring us in the face."

"Then tell the evidence to mind its own business!" Rookie says.

Gary's blindfold is removed, and he sees he's in a dimly lit cave. Shadowkid stands in front of him.

"To be quite honest, I expected the Gadget Guy to be more heroic than the sniveling, screaming coward I've brought home."

"I'm not typically a field agent."

"Then why put one inexperienced with that type of work on the field?"

"We prepared for everything but an even bigger plane, something that would seem impossible to hide."

"Our very existence, that being an advanced civilization in a frozen wasteland, should give the notion that nothing is impossible."

"It slips my mind sometimes."

"Very well. I'll just leave some of my ninjas to get information from you."

Three ninjas enter the room and Shadowkid leaves. One tries grabbing Gary by the collar, but another motions to him to back off.

"Alright, punk" He says in a nasally voice, "You're going to talk or else" He pulls out two shurikens.

Gary spends a few moments looking at the ninja and then smiles. "Do your worst."

The ninja looks ready to throw the stars, but turns around and hits the other two ninjas with them instead. While they're reeling in pain, he knocks them both out.

"Excellent spy work, Agent Isai. I assume you're here to rescue me."

Agent Isai pulls off his ninja disguise to show himself to Gary. "Putting that big head of yours to work as always. I wasn't invited to the meeting with the big boys, but the stunt I'm about to pull off is going to make headlines."

Isai takes out a small cylinder and attaches it to the wall. An arm extends from it and cuts a circle through it.

"Good job on coming prepared this time." Gary says.

"Hey, don't praise me, you made this thing."

They escape from the area and find themselves very deep into Club Penguin wilderness. Once they get very far away from the cave (which has only now noticed Gary is missing), Isai takes out a remote and presses a red button on it. The cave detonates in a massive explosion. The trees around it fall, puffles scurry away in fear, and the two agents teleport back to HQ.

Part 2
Ten minutes or so later, Isai waddles in to the command room with Gary leaning on him. The other agents have been briefed on the news and were waiting for him to enter.

"Excellent work, Isai," The Director says.

"Oh it was nothing," Isai replies. "PSA's in the other room. Just open up the bag to get a good look at him. Ain't pretty, though."

Gary waddles into the gadget room room and does just that. After a few seconds of grim silence, he comes back with an answer.

"...It's possible."

There is a collective sigh of relief throughout the room.

"That does not mean I can bring him back. Even after the ditto is extracted, repairing the damage and restarting his heartbeat may not be possible. Imagine, if there were not so much snow, his body might not have been preserved well enough."

"But that's not how-"

"Just go with it, Rookie."

Gary goes back to the gadget room and locks himself in.

"Do you think he'll be able to do it?" Dot asks.

"Gary's a smart guy," Agent T says calmly, "He'll find a way."

Just then, an alarm goes off, and the large screen in front of them automatically switches to the camera installed in the Ski Lodge. The same image that's displayed on one of the monitors in the main PSA HQ. Shadowkid's ninjas are attacking.

"Come on, agents. there's work to do!" Agent T yells, grabbing his Snowball gun and running out. The other agents grab their weapons and head out as well. They individually use their spy phones to teleport to the lodge and catch the ninjas by surprise. Once they arrive, they open fire on the ninjas outside, paralyzing a good number of them before the others start firing back with their own snowball guns, shurikens, and elemental cards. One snow card strikes Rookie's foot and instantly creates a frozen shell around it. Dot jumps out a window and hides herself in the deep snow. When an enemy comes near, she jumps out like a frogfish, pins them down, and paralyzes them before they can do any more harm. Jet Pack Guy easily has the biggest advantage with his mastery of the jet pack. He's able to get many excellent shots in while avoiding anything flying his way. Before long, they're driven away from the lodge.

"...That was way too easy," Agent T remarks.

"I agree," Dot says. "And you know what that means."

"A distraction! We have to get back to Gary immediately!"

The group all teleport back to the gadget room as fast as they can, only to find a completely different surprise awaiting them.

They find a pair of sunglasses, a dirty suit, messed up black hair, and an unforgettable smile.

"Agents, I'm PSA,

And it's good to be back."

"This is a miracle. By all accounts, he should be dead!" JPG says, "Especially since Shadowkid just sent out a phony raid against us."

"...Phony raid?" G inquires.

"Yeah, I'd think a smart guy like you would notice," Dot says while Rookie picks at his frozen foot.

"I was monitoring you should something go wrong, and I did find the attack was too minor to be serious, but I double checked everything else when I had the time, and we're in the clear."

"..."

"..."

"Wow. I wonder how much of this he actually planned out."

"I speculate he got as far as the plane stunt before calling it a day and leaving the rest to improvisation," Gary says.

"Makes sense," Dot says

"Hey, G, that's cool and all but can you unfreeze my foot?" Rookie desperately asks.

"Do we have any leads on the kid's current location?" PSA asks everyone else in the room.

"One," The Director responds, "An undercover agent on a construction site repairing the Pizza Parlor and the Stage reported a mysterious man who fits our description of Shadowkid fleeing to the forest in a panic."

"Knowing his arrogance and planning 'expertise', I'm willing to get he's trying to hide in the Hidden Lake right about now," Gary deduces.

"Well what are we waiting for?" JPG pipes in, "Let's get there, kick some butt, and get that mask!"

Sure enough, once they roll away the boulder in the forest and drop down to the lake below, Shadowkid and a fledgling army of ninjas are waiting.

"How did you find me out?! My new hideout was a stroke of genius!"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but everyone knows this is here," Dot says.

"GET HIM!" Rookie yells, charging at Shadowkid. The ninjas quickly freeze him with cards. Jet Pack Guy takes the opportunity to flank them and knock out two ninjas before hitting his head. Gary loses faith in penguinkind. Meanwhile, Dot has pressed a button on her watch and rendered herself invisible. Seeing only PSA, Agent T, and Gary, they get overconfident.

"HAHAHAHA! So this is the PSA! A ragtag bunch of has-beens and idiots! More like Penguin STUPID Agents, am I right guys?" The other ninjas reply with obviously fake laughs.

"That's the best you could do?" Dot says while invisible behind Shadowkid. The ninjas flail around, looking for when the sound came from, but they're too late to stop Dot from pushing Shadowkid at PSA, who catches him and rips his mask off. Shadowkid blinks a few times like he's just woken up.

"That wasn't so painful, was it?"

"Who... are you? What's going on?" Shadowkid asks.

"Master? Master! What have they done to you?"

"Oh hey guys!" Shadowkid waves to them and then turns to the agents, "Those are my friends! I was teaching them how to get better at Card Jitsu and then one day they wanted me to wear this cool mask they found. After that, I don't remember anything."

The agents, most of them having recovered, glare at the nervous ninjas.

"Great, looks like we get to have a real fight after all!" Agent T says, loading up his snowball gun.

"All of you are under arrest in the name of the PSA!" Gary shouts, then they push the frozen Rookie at the group of ninjas...

They return to HQ a few minutes later, with all of the (very injured) ninjas in tow as well as Rookie, whose head has thawed out and is put under a heat lamp.

"Boy, Director, do we have a story for you..." Gary says.

"Where's Shadowkid?" The Director asks.

"Oh, we just sent him back to the Dojo. We got his mask, though." He throws it onto the table's circular center, which opens up and swallows it.

"Excellent work, G. We'll have to examine this further."

"You mean, I'll have to examine, it right?"

"Ah, yes, right. As for your next mission, a young lady in red has reported that her precious ruby is missing."

"Wait, you mean like the play?" Rookie's defrosted head asks.

"Yes, the play was commissioned by her. Yet, in a strange twist of fate her prized ruby has disappeared for real. It's the largest one ever unearthed on Antarctica, and-"

"No disrespect, Director, but are you sure you need the elite team for this?" Isai asks.

"Hey, where were you when we were-"

"Trust me, Isai, judging from the information I've received, there is likely more to this than you think..." The Director says, cutting off Dot, "...But first we'll need to allocate our funds to reimburse G's nephew for the plane Shadowkid destroyed."

"Good grief," Gary groans.

The End